by Prisca 39 Replies latest jw friends
Ah, the power of suggestion! Knowledge is power and once I realize I have that power, I'm responsible. I have the means and power to think for myself and I take what whatever conequences befall me. I've come to learn to accept and live with the good the bad and ugly.
The org. didn't have that much influence on me, my conscience did. There were many times I went against my conscience and I paid the price, so be it! Nothing like the school of hard knocks.
Guest 77
Guest 77
Well I could be a real dick if I wanted to, and blame the org for it. There's alot of pain related to that. But I choose not to, why, I am an adult now ( so I'm told) and to sit here and blame them for my life now doesn't make any sense. I learned the "truth" about the "truth" and it changed my outlook on the org. A person chooses the path they are on, be it good choices or bad ones. I choose to be a better person and rise above all of it. If you don't like where your life is at now, change it, the power is yours. By blaming the org for your problems, your only giving the org more power over you...power they don't deserve.
Obiwan's humble two cents.
Ilook back at my life as a JW sometimes in extreme anger, sometimes in sorrow, sometimes in pain. I ride horses, and wonder what I could have been in my industry if only my mother had used her ambition, and taught me to use mine.
One time I said this to one of my equestrian students grandfather. She is 7 has been riding since 4, has a wonderpony and everything she needs to be one of the top competitors in the world someday.
He turned to me and told me his story:
He was raised in an orphanage, his mother was alive, but didn't want to care for him, then he had to go back home at 10 years old to an abusive stepfather. at 15 he moved out and started working, shortly thereafter he joined the service, started to learn a trade and is now a succesful business owner. He gives to his kids and grandkids what he never was able to have.
It put things in perspective for me. It doesn't negate the fact that we were abused. And yes the WTBS is definately responsible for it's lies and cult tactics. But other people have lived in painful, harmful circumstances too. We have broken the bonds, so now we can pass this strength on to our children and their children and hopefully make the world a better place for it (excuse the cliche).
K
It put things in perspective for me. It doesn't negate the fact that we were abused. And yes the WTBS is definately responsible for it's lies and cult tactics. But other people have lived in painful, harmful circumstances too. We have broken the bonds, so now we can pass this strength on to our children and their children and hopefully make the world a better place for it
Damn, that's good!
aojumper, that was the eloquence I was missing....
So true!
As I was growing up in a jw family, every decision regarding my participation in school, forming friendships with other children, whether or not I was recognized as welcomed in my family with birthdays and many other life issues, was decided upon, using the wbts teachings.
These all had an affect on me and how I viewed the world in general. This in large part determined who I was, how I thought, how I reacted to events. It in a large part determined my self identity.
Some of these affects were positive and unfortunatly many were negative.
Since my actions were my decision as an adult, yes I carry responsibility for them.
However if I had not grown up in a jw ruled family, I would be a different person, in my thought processes and beliefs. This would cause a different set of decisions in my life as an adult. A different way of viewing events and situations. A different way of dealing with life in general.
I truly am a different man today, than I was 15 yrs ago. This is due in large part to my discarding the jw mindset and beliefs.
So while I am responsible for my actions, The wbts is also at least partly responsible for molding me into the person who made these decisions.
In this respect, YES the wbts must share the blame for my previous conduct.
Outoftheorg
Don't know how this relates, but just yesterday I was thinking of how my life would be different now if I had done this or that when I was younger (per JW rules) instead of being free to make whatever decision I wanted like other kids.
I decided that things would be different--that's all--not necessarily better. Shucks, had I played sports in school (I was strongly recruited in 7 t h grade) I might have had a pro career... or be a cripple today. Or dead. Who knows?
All I know for sure is what my boss shared with us the other day... #8 of the Ten Commandments For A Long and Happy Life:
8. Thou shalt not try to relive yesterday for good or ill -- it is gone.
Concentrate on what is happening today.
This thread is golden. It's filled with eloquent and passionate words and thought provoking concepts. Everybody gather around and read this!
I take issue with the word "blame". Did the WTS cause me to forego an education when I was younger? ABSOLUTELY. Is it now within my power to attain an education? ABSOLUTELY. Does the present negate the past? I don't know. I believe it is different in every case. I don't want the WTS money, but I do want them to relinquish the power and tyranny they hold over those I love. I often think those who want money from the WTS only want to hurt the WTS in a real way. Those people believe that money is the only way to cause the WTS pain, and they may well be right.
Also, I think people can't be judged on a group basis. Just because I am strong, and was able to walk away and make something of myself doesnt' mean everyone has the same strength. I believe the majority of people on this board have the same strenght as I, but I also believe we all know someone who doesn't. What of those people?
I find the older I get, the more I realize there is rarely one solution that fits every person. This seems to be one of the times it won't.
Happyout
we now have the freedom to pursue life choices that were never available before. If we wanted to go to university, what is preventing us from going now? If we wanted to change careers, what is stopping us now?
Good questions Prisca. Indeed, perhaps nothing is preventing us from pursuing opportunities we may have missed out on.
On the other hand, for many, the best time to pursue such opportunities - in fact, in some cases maybe the only time - is when one is younger and not tied down with family or other obligations. For example, a parent may not have time for additional education, and money may also be lacking.
So for many, adherence to WT exhortations (which often, compounded by judgemental people in the congregation, create a 'guilt-trip' if one does not follow through) to sacrifice certain opportunities did indeed cause them to miss out on being able to pursue various opportunities, and I for one are loathe to put blame on the unsuspecting individual for that.
