I have read everyones comments on this thread and feel that all have very valid points to consider. I believe the WTBTS does have some responsibility regarding the affects of being raised as a JW and its results. But in reading through everyones comments, I must ask, did the WTBTS *directly* influence the decisions that were made in your life? What I mean by this is, if we were raised as Jehovah's Witnesses, was it not our parents, friends, family that tried to *enforce* the WTBTS policies regarding association, lack of a college education, etc...Did not the society simply set forth recommendations, and the enforcing of such recommendations were done by our parents? or if some of us were involved as adults, allowing the society to force us to behave in a certain manner (ie. refusing blood, or not going to the police to report an allegation of child abuse) says more about our *thought process* in allowing us to be duped in this way! Our normal thought process would be to do what we can to live would it not? Our normal thought process would be to go after the individual who violated your child, would it not?
In this world we have lots of influences, the media, our neighbors, friends, co-workers. It is *our* responsibility to weed out those things that may influence us negatively, and make decisions that are in the best interest of ourselves and our families. We cannot simply fall-back and play the "victicrat" role.
From personal experience, I can say that I allowed myself to be influenced in this manner, even after becoming inactive. For example, for some time I was afraid to discuss with my parents the concerns I had regarding the society. They oftened asked when I was going to return to meetings. I avoided these conversations like the plague. Also, since becoming inactive I used to often avoid running into witnesses I knew, since they would always strike up a conversation about what I was upto given I had grown a goatee. For some reason, by me having facial hair, meant that I needed to be preached to. But since I sat down and really analyzed this situation, I had to make a decision, that I was responsible for my own actions, and I could no longer avoid these witnesses in a child-like manner, since I could care less what they really thought. In essence, I had to stand up for what I thought to be the right course of action.
Also, when it came to my parents, I put it in my mind that I was not going to allow the org to keep me from my associating with them, who have remained active. So because of this I took a proactive approach. Had many, many heart to heart talks with my parents. When they tried to avoid me, I was there...when they asked me to leave their home, I returned, when they pleaded for me not to return until I shaved...I retuned, goatee and all, again, and again, and again, and again. I was not going to lose my parents!!! Since then my association with them has been extremely positive, and our conversations are geared towards different directions. Basically, my parents knew that they werent going to get rid of me, because they KNEW how much I loved them. Plain and simple, I was not going to allow an outside influence to affect what I knew to be the right course of action.
So for many of us, leaving the WT baggage behind may be the best thing. Often times I hear that one feels they must associate with former JW's to have someone to assist in the healing process. Or there are those that come to these boards religiously in hopes of "an answer." However, in so doing, the healing process will not begin, since you have not allowed the *chains of influence* to be broken, ie. the WT with its teachings still are very much a part of your life.
Yes, the society does have some to blame, but we must come to a point when we must understand that we are accountable for our own actions. Also, for many of us that were raised in the org, As kids, our parents were for the most part our main influence, so they must also be accountable not just for themselves, but for their own children. They were the ones that took the steps to stop you from attending dances, proms, associating with worldly friends, continuing your education, no birthdays, no christmas etc....they were the enforcers of those WT policies you consider so cruel to children! It is time we put things in proper perspective
My two cents!
Alf3831
