Havent gone to the kingdom hall in ten years but may have to go back... (page 2)

Joliette

The biggest thing that I think of is: What if I have a medical emergency? What if I end up having a terminal illness? I don't smoke, drink very occasionally, and I do have non-JW's friends, but I've realized that most of them were never really my friends. I know a lot of people at the KH aren't really my friends either. It's really more of a security thing than anything. I don't have a lot of security out in the world.

Maria Nieves

What security do you believe that you will find at The Kingdom Hall?

Joliette

Since a lot of my relatives are JWs and I made the stupid mistake of talking about my upbringing to non-JWs family and friends that I had, they all think I'm a JWs. Then I haven't been too successful at having a career, I'm in a lot of student loan debt, I don't have a lot of security out in the world. I've dealt with a lot discrimination at work (I'm African American and female) so I'm probably never gonna be able to pay back my student loans at all. I'm starting to realize that life is mostly a scam. Even when I try to explain being raised as a JW's to my past therapist, they didn't understand. I would have been better off just not talking about it all. Talking about it to people just made things worse. I believe anybody that is exposed to this religion or who follows it is cursed.

As two-faced and sociopathic as people are there, I probably would have more security being a JW's. I'm not sexually active, I don't smoke at all, I drink only very occasionally. No matter how much I've tried telling people I'm not a JW's people still think I'm a JW's. I know, it's a crazy existence. I had to make better choices when I was younger.

I know its a lot of hidden agendas at the kingdom hall, I know how bipolar the people are, I know there's a lot of scam artist there, but hey, the world isn't so much better. I have lesser of a chance of making it out in ' the world' because of the mistakes that I made in the past. If I had left when I was 18, had never talked about it again, avoided getting in debt, had started a family when I was younger, I probably would be scot-free by now.

smiddy3

Sorry to say this Joliette ,but you need professional help that can`t be had here .If you think as you imply that you will get support from people who will watch your back and help you,you are delusional .simply stated

You never got baptized, you were never a Jehovah`s Witness, and by your own words never will be ,so why do you think they will be there for you if you go back as a non believer ?

Not meaning at all to be mean joliette ,but you need to see a therapist who understands cults and how to deal with life without them.

I wish you all the best for the rest of your life .

Take care.

Looking back on some of your posts my friend I think you enjoy being in the situation you have made for yourself , but if you go back and get baptised pulling the wool over JW`s eyes for a time, the day will come when you will be disfellowshipped and you are going to be in a far worse position than you are now .

If you can`t cope now you certainly won`t be able to cope then.

And nobody here will be able to help you.

SnakesInTheTower

Joliette,

You need professional help. Take it from someone who was raised JW, was a pioneer, elder, MTS grad, blah blah....stayed in until age 40, THERE IS A LIFE OUTSIDE JW.

The JW will NOT be there to help you. First you have to help yourself. Find some boots, then you CAN pull YOURSELF up by the bootstraps.

I'm sorry if I sound a bit harsh. It took therapy, a small group of non JW friends, and a new attitude. You know what? It was hard, but I have a non JW wife, adopted son, a career, an education, savings, a house.. All in 14 years since walking away.

You will regret going back and being codependent. Trust me and others here. We may not walk in your shoes, but we have walked the path ahead of you. Take care.

Snakes (Rich)

Joliette

Every situation is different. Maybe with you guys you had a more hopeful situation when you left and more support. If I ended up getting seriously sick and passing away I won't have any support. Yes some people can leave and live successful lives but not all can fit in with the world. Im one of those people. I've just been too brainwashed. Ill never live the normal life. Yes I do not go to the kingdom hall now but not being there hasn't benefitted me. I haven't gotten a lot of help from ex Jehovah's Witnesses.

Joliette

Im assuming that the last two posters are males. Your experience is probably different.

jhine

Juliette l am female . I have never been a JW so l don't know the hold that this cult can have over people .

I am a life long Anglican and l agree with the people who are saying that you need professional help and if you want a faith based support system join another faith community. Just please get some proper help . You sound really depressed and going back into the WT now really won't help.

Jan x

SadElder

It is unfortunate that you're personal situation is causing you distress. Others here have given you some good counsel.

As to the dubs, going back will simply add to your distress. They will make you jump through hoops to become an approved associate (or whatever they are calling it these days). There are no meetings for you to attend in person to be able to have the love bombs dropped on you for a while until they tire of that. You'll have to complete the study of a book or two. No one will likely visit you in person as they are discouraged from visiting private homes due to Covid. My 91 year old mother, a second generation lifelong dub, hasn't seen one dub in person in almost a year. She gets an obligatory phone call about every six weeks from one sister and that's it.

Even if you decide to return you are probably going to need more effective assistance than can be found in a vacant Kingdom Hall.

BluesBrother

Do you think that you will be able to go back ? If you know it is a scam, and all the negative things you said, what makes you think you can survive ?

When lockdown ends and they take you out in service , will you be able to tell people all the J W shpeil .

Actually there are family reasons that would benefit me to go back, but I know I could not do it

Havent gone to the kingdom hall in ten years but may have to go back...

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