Havent gone to the kingdom hall in ten years but may have to go back...

by Joliette 64 Replies latest jw experiences

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  carla

  Many therapists are doing a certain amount of pro bono help now due to the pandemic. Search around and maybe you will find one. You also can do tele-mental health online appointments from your own home.

  Joining a church of some kind does seem to be the community feeling you are looking for. Maybe try a few different churches and see how you like them. At least in these churches you will have freedom of thought. Most churches have many social things as well, yes, even during covid though on a more limited basis. They also have ministries that help people with daily needs, sickness, loneliness, food, etc.... Volunteering would be a great way to make new friends!

  I wish you well and hope you do not feel that the jw's are the only way. There are many options out there.
• 

  pistolpete

  Joliette

  I'll be 39 next year, I'm getting older and I don't have a lot of choices. I don't like the idea of being back in a cult, but what other support systems do I have? If my family passes away, especially my mom, I've come to realize that I'm not gonna have anybody whose really gonna have my back?

  Hi there. I’m actually a lot younger than you and was born in a jw family, but I never got baptized, and left home at an early age and things kind of worked out for me.

  One of the things I also thought of when I left is that I would probably lose all my family and my friends especially as I got older. And there was that thought that I would die alone.

  One thing I’ve learn being out is that for the majority of people, jw or not, married or not, children or not, is that people wind up dying alone anyway. It’s rare to be able to time death perfectly where your mate or family can be at your side. Usually when someone dies, marriage mates aren’t together. I’ve seen this happen many times. Heart attack, accident, long term illness at a hospice and the mate went home to sleep, and during that time the other mate died.

  Also for the most part, people, jw or not, children or not, usually wind up lonely anyway. It’s just the reality of life. Our children go off to live their own life and we shouldn’t expect them to be at our side all the time, and our mate eventually dies too. And all our friends have the same problems of facing their own mortality.

  I think what you are going through is a realization of your own mortality. Which is actually normal.

  I would never tell you what to do because I have no idea how deep your troubled spirit is. Therapy would help.

  But the most important thing is YOU have to decide what YOU NEED to do to Survive this period in your life.

  There is actually hundreds of jws in a situation like yours where they have to stay in the WT organization, in order to save their family. They may have woken up and spouse, children, and parents are zealous Jehovah Witnesses. For their survival, they continue to stay in the Organization until something changes. You might be able to get some pointers from them on this website.

  https://www.reddit.com/r/exjw/new/

  Most of the ones that post there are in a similar situation like yours. If you do go back, try hard not to get baptized.

  Be patient and good luck.
• 

  just fine

  You always have choices. You do not need to go back to the Witnesses. If you want to - that is your choice.

  You can go to school to get a new career, you can meet new people by volunteering in your community, you can learn new things about planning for retirement and budgeting. All of it takes effort and you have to want to do them.

  In reading your post it seems you feel like you are missing something in your life and you think the Witnesses are going to fill that void. In my experience looking for someone else to fill a void doesn’t work.
• 

  Longlivetherenegades

  @ Joliette how can you get help when most of what you put out here are mixed with SPECULATIONS and ASSUMPTIONS

  1. If my family passes away, especially my mom, I've come to realize that I'm not gonna have anybody whose really gonna have my back?

  2. What if I end up getting seriously sick, I'm not married at all, don't have children, and it looks like I wont ever have children because I am too old now
  

  
  

  3. I believe groups like Jehovahs Witnesses was created for people who have experienced rejection from the world, who can't make it out in the world. I guess I am one of those people.

  4. I'm gonna end up in some serious poverty, I can see it coming. I think it will probably have to do with something medically.

  
  5. The biggest thing that I think of is: What if I have a medical emergency? What if I end up having a terminal illness? I don't smoke, drink very occasionally,
  

  6. Then I haven't been too successful at having a career, I'm in a lot of student loan debt, I don't have a lot of security out in the world. I've dealt with a lot discrimination at work (I'm African American and female) so I'm probably never gonna be able to pay back my student loans at all. I'm starting to realize that life is mostly a scam.

  My take is this...................

  You are in a SERIOUS DEBT at the moment. It is weighing HEAVILY on your mind that from what you want to likely happen is perhaps get help from sorting that debt out from proceeds that will likely come from your MUM when she dies and possibly from relatives whom are JWS who you believe will help you when you return to the JWS organization. Hope your mum have not willed her asset to the ORG. It will be disaster waiting to happen should you bank on those asset as help. Thread carefully on this.

  
  

  I don't want to see you as a DROP OUT from school until you confirm that. From the explanation you have given so far, you never had a defined plan of action for a life that you know is a SCAM. The JWs don't believe the life they live is a SCAM. You have to live by the RULES they set about life of which you are aware of. You will be kicked out back into a WORLD that you believe has REJECTED you should you fail to heed the rules. It will be DOUBLE TRAGEDY.

  Do you have a terminal sickness or illness that you are not willing to DIVULGE?

  Finally understand the current situation and predicaments JWs as it is today before making your decision. They are locked in at the moment. Should decide to join better remain locked in because at the moment you can't afford to lose the ONLY PLACE you feel and BELIEVE HELP or SUPPORT is and will come from.
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  RULES & REGULATIONS

  Joliette

  Ian Dury had a song called ''Reasons to Be Cheerful'' 1,2,3

  Something nice to study, PHONING up a buddy

  The JUICE of the carrot, the SMILE of the parrot

  Summer, BUDDY Holly, the WORKING folly

  There are many things in life that can make you happy. Here is what you said on the reasons you hate about the Jehovah's Witnesses:

  Yeah, I know it's a scam, most of the people there are crazy and brainwashed, bipolar, insane, sociopaths
  I don't like the idea of being back in a cult
  Even though I no longer believe it in do you guys think I'm crazy for this?
  I'll probably will always disagree with it
  That's the hold that this group has on people. It's all mind control. They basically own you forever.
  I've realized that most of them were never really my friends. I know a lot of people at the KH aren't really my friends either.
  I know its a lot of hidden agendas at the kingdom hall, I know how bipolar the people are, I know there's a lot of scam artist there

  
  

  I made the mistake of returning to the Kingdom Hall after 8 years. I missed my family and found that the ''world'' had many faults and dangers. I tried to fit back in the Kingdom Hall but found more lies, backbiting, pounding of ''you're never good enough'', boring meetings, cliques, more rules that I disagreed with, false teachings and promises that never came true.

  I QUIT AGAIN, 10 YEARS AGO. I HATED MYSELF FOR LYING TO MYSELF THAT I BELONGED AT THE MEETINGS, WHEN I KNEW I NEEDED TO GET OUT!

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
• 

  Overrated

  Why go back to abuse? You know it's a scam, the people in it are not right, why put up with that? Keep your sanity and find help elsewhere.
• 

  LongHairGal

  JOLIETTE:

  I read your post and am sorry to hear what you are going through. Yes, living in the world is tough, no lie.. It is especially so for people raised JWs who never really got established with a decent job/career. Those who leave the religion now know they have to jump feet first into getting their education, etc. as there is no time to waste.

  Your concerns about your financial future and situation are valid and the reasons you want to go back, because (as you say) you are struggling now and worried about student debt and worried about possible health issues, etc.

  However, are you absolutely certain your family/mother are going to let you live with them? Will they support you or let you live there jobless? Do you have an expectation of inheriting a house or property?..Even if you were to inherit a house, you need money and income to maintain it (taxes, utilities, repairs). Um..Do you think you are going to get monetary assistance from the JWs in the congregation?? 😬 Please say you don’t believe this..There are fewer people there even able (or willing) to give $$. They are being hit up left and right.

  This is where your job/career would come in. If you became a JW again..you would be strongly discouraged from having one. This is what they DO - especially to a woman. They tried to do this to me and I wouldn’t be Retired if I listened.

  Nobody can tell you what to do as the decision is ultimately yours. I wish you all the best if you decide to go back to the religion.
• 

  jhine

  Joliette l don't know where you are . I do know that in England there are charities that can help with sorting out debt . This may be true in other countries . I am sure that practical help is out there that could help you get back in control .

  I still think that professional help in the form of counselling is needed and joining a different church would be better

  Jan
• 

  DesirousOfChange

  I think for a single woman to really get any real assistance she would have to be a regular pioneer. JMHO
  
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  Joliette

  Im in America...

  Like I mentioned in a previous post, people always talk about therapy and joining another church. You have to have the right ins