Xanthippe, I do owe Tony Moron the turd a debt of gratitude for talking such foolishness and wiggling his way to the top to spout off to such a large audience. Geoff seemed like such a likable guy, but he showed so little regard for helpless victims. That's what woke my wife briefly, until she was able to rationalize that he is just an imperfect human. These are the people we are expected to be loyal to.
Waking up - introduction
by Dreamerdude 72 Replies latest jw experiences
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disposable hero of hypocrisy
Welcome dreamer dude dude!
I wish you every success. Some great advice on here. I'm still trying to listen more than talk, but it's difficult when there's simply no talk about anything spiritual unless I start it.
You sound like you've got your head screwed on tight though, best of luck mate..
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sparky1
Welcome to the forum, Dreamerdude and to the 'dawning' of your new, awakened life.
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MarkofCane
Welcome Dreamer Dude
Theirs a lot of us with mates still in. The struggle is real the end game is the same, unplug! Keep us posted on your progress.
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Dreamerdude
Hero, sparky, and Mark, thanks for the welcome. I have a lot to learn. I need to listen, without the stifling filter of the WT, although I do like the phrase"multitude of counsellors". I hope to build confidence in my own ability to think, something I was not taught from infancy.
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Darkknight757
Welcome and sorry you had to get involved with this cult. It's good to hear that you taking care of yourself. I hope that soon your wife will also be able to wake up and both of you can come out together.
What worked for my wife may not work for yours. I started planning weekend getaways that made us miss meetings. I used those opportunities to tell her how I felt about the organization and how depressed I was as an Elder. That seemed to work. I slowly shared little things with her and in time she too woke up. She is still in a bit mentally but she wants to get out and move on as well.
Maybe try to plan things on meeting nights and see how that goes. Have lots of fun together and cement your relationship. Build friendships with outsiders and get close with your "worldly" relatives so you have a support system.
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freemindfade
Welcome!
have you started fading at all?
I ask because of going through hell with my wife for a few years, then my family, but the reaction of those to my fading has shaken my wife a bit. She is way more laid back, no longer a pioneer, and has glimpses of reason.
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Dreamerdude
Darkknight, that is all great advice. I hope things continue to get better for you. I am happy with progress so far, but I wish it was all behind me. Trips away from cult activities are great. I like to use humor to point out the ridiculous side of the org. It's such a farce. I picked that up from Farkel and Billy. It keeps things light. -
Dreamerdude
Freemind, thanks. I have indeed been able to fade a bit. But I guess that's relative. I was able to step far away from the Service Committe and then the elder body, even getting sympathy for the trauma the 20 year ordeal had caused me. No more public talks at the KH and assemblies. Much less drama and politics. I can sit on the sidelines and snicker to myself about how deluded people need to be to put up with it. I try to limit my loaded language as I learn to speak English. My recruiting is down to 3-5 hours a month, well within the "spiritually weak" range for our congregation. It mostly consists of going on return visits with my wife, where I encourage liberal use of Google and YouTube. At the WT indoctrination session I usually find something humorous I can get people to laugh at, if not I abstain. I get far too much praise for my comments. For the at year I get out of most midweek meetings so I can focus on work. -
freemindfade
When you are ready to stop with the recruiting, just keep turning in time until you are ready to stop that. I don't want to encourage anything you aren't ready for but I would encourage to continually (and slowly) make progress out.
If you continue being awesome to your wife, being a good person all around, and are more balanced an happy the further away you get, you never know how that might affect her. Its hard to ignore when someone is better and happier so embrace the change. I know a lot of people will say they are experiencing depression or anxiety or are discouraged in order to justify their fade (an honestly to each individual whats is right for them is right). I choose to take a different route.
- my beliefs and actions are personal
- I am happy and healthy
- I don't have doubts about "the truth", i know all about it. (its a cult)
No one who can't handle the truth about the truth with an open mind deserves any more explanation unless they are able to handle it. For instance now i am able to be more critical at times (although i do my best to refrain) and the wife will either passively make an alternative view point, agree, or say nothing. Where as these comments in the past would have sent her into a tail spin of CD panic.
