ever feel violent rage toward BORG?

by Ravyn 48 Replies latest jw friends

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  Ravyn

  Pork Chop and In_Between_Days seem to think I am the only one on this board who is bitter and feels occasionally violent toward the Borg...what do you think?

  I have been called low life scum because I made a comment (after being provoked) about not caring if all JWs died of antrax. Honestly, there are days I really feel that way. Am I the only one? Or am I just the only one honest enough to admit it?

  I had enough of the namby-pamby child worshipping ninnies who always knew just exactly what you SHOULD be doing when I was in the Borg. Dolphin-safe tuna sandwiches and 2 % milk for lunch, driving minivans and and listening to Celine Dion cds...........:: shivers :: bleh

  and don't misunderstand me--you all are smart enough to know the kind of person I am describing without taking offense unless the shoe fits! So don't waste your time with the 'hey I drive a mini-van!' responses.

  I am not a socio-path or psycho-path. But I am honest and I am human and I am not afraid of anger or hate or negative emotions and I laugh at things like pink mummies with samurai swords terrorizing JWs. And the Three Stooges and Ren and Stimpy.

  And I am so sick of hearing about the 'poor' children of JWs. There are poor children everywhere in this world! Do something about it!

  (I am NOT talking about children who have been molested or abused. What kind of a monster would not be sympathetic to that? I AM talking about people who worship children and put them on pedestals higher than they need to be. My husband was one such worshipped child and he is still paying for it. He battles narcisism and selfishness and ADHD and all the other traps needy parents put on kids when they worship them and teach them that they are the gods of their narrow little worlds! He has been in therapy for years to get over what his parents did to him and he was not even raised a JW. People who try to protect children from the realities of life are not doing them a favor. A parent's one and only job is to prepare the child to be a successful adult--anything less is failure.)

  ok that rant is over.

  how about some honesty for a refreshing change? am I the only one who feels bitter and violent and angry and hatred for the Borg? am I the only one who feels like the ones who know better and stay in anyway should be shot(NOT talking about those who are planning their escape--talking about the ones who compromise their integrity for ease and comfort)? am I the only one who sometime feels like every JW is just a waste of precious natural resources? (Incidentally I fell like this about alot of people not just JWs, but JWs are the topic here aren't they?) come on I dare you! be honest!

  Ravyn
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  SpunkyChick

  about not caring if all JWs died of antrax

  LOL! Ravyn, no you are not alone. There are days I'd wish suicide bombers would fly into the society's headquarters there at Bethel while they're sweeping their front steps. I get especially enraged when I see my neighbor, who's an active JW. Whenever I see him in the yard I feel like yelling, "Shouldn't you be inside studying the watchtower or something?!!"
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  micheal

  I definitley feel hatred towards them. Not so much for individuals ( though there are a couple I would love to ...) but the organization as a whole. Most times I don't let myself feel this only because I personally feel this would set me back whereas I really want to move past this and never have that cult as part of my life, literal or otherwise. Though I can certainly understand if someone has this violent rage against this cult, I mean look how they have negativley altered the lives of millions of people, both those who have left and those that are in it. Bottom line is, I really don't think there is a hard and fast rule as to how one copes with this, just as long as you said it is within a reasonable boundry.
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  cat1759

  Dearest Ravyn,

  There is not much say because you are suffering to this day with the past and the projection into the future. I am not in your shoes but if I were I would feel the same bitterness and rage. My heart cries when I read your posts because there is nothing I can do to change your life and give you something more for your future, except be your friend.

  I did feel such rage and bitterness and after I wrote about it I moved on. As for me I have been diagnosed with PTSD and disassociative disorder. I seperate myself from all the hurt because if I don't do that I have a hard time dealing with the reality. This was an escape mechanism I have been using since I was four. The day I got hurt at work it became necessary for me to figure out how to deal with everything that has happened in my life and to open the closet to all the emotions that I put away all my life. Just when I think I have gotten through them all a new one comes up and slowly but surely I am working through it all.

  It seems like we spend the first thirty years of life trying to please others and the next 30yrs trying to figure out why we were so blind and what our self worth or lack of it and the why's.

  Cathy
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  kls

  I totally understand,when they come to my door i have so much rage my mind just blanks and i start to shake.You have every right to your feelings just as everyone does.If you feel hate that is your right.They gave you these feelings.Would you feel sympothy for someone who has murdered a loved one?No.They have taken your mind and totally minipulated it and killed a part of you . Kls
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  Dogpatch

  THE BOMB
  (Walkaways & Castaways)

  http://www.freeminds.org/buss/buss.htm

  by Gary Busselman

  When members of an exclusive, mind controlling group are forced out of the group as believers, or walk away as believers, something happens to them that affects everyone around them. Since my own personal experience was with the group known as Jehovah's Witnesses, this will be my reference point for this article.

  I have had the experience of noting that when some people are active Jehovah's Witnesses, they "hate" everybody and everything that is not a Jehovah's Witnesses, just as they are told to do by the group leaders. (I have much evidence to support this statement.) Then something happens at the local Kingdom Hall and the person who hated everybody and everything that was not a Jehovah's Witnesses, now is also angry with the Jehovah's Witnesses. They become more or less angry all the time. Any seeming normal behavior is forced, and the next explosion is uneasily waiting just below the surface, like a well-camouflaged land mine, waiting for someone to trip the trigger.

  The most aggressive defenders of the Watchtower Society that I have ever met were the believing walkaways and the believing castaways. They are running on guilt, fear, and anger. They are like a loyal, well trained, blood thirsty, attack dog who has been getting all his needs met by one master since birth and then the master rejects him.

  When this happens to a Jehovah's Witnesses, they have a deep, deep feeling of loneliness that reaches to the very depths of their being. They feel alone and unwanted and since they are only trained to do one thing... hate... kill... with words, with looks, or with actions, they lash out at whoever tries to befriend them. Living becomes a survival issue and everyone is a player for the other team. Willpower is useless to them, and willpower is useless on them.

  This stage may continue until death or until a crisis allows for their defenses to be lowered enough for the start of a complete mental change. The defending walkaway / castaway has a radical problem and it requires a radical solution. They are suffering from a condition that tells them that they failed, that they are at fault, and there are no friends out there to help.

  The mental pain is so intense that many, if not most, resort to some drug or behavior to self-medicate. To be in the same room with this person is to risk a confrontation. There are a set of rules, like invisible lines, for existence in the same world as the walkaway / castaway and they do their best to keep these rules secret... until someone steps outside of the line.

  Life with such a person is a trial. Husbands, wives, children, and others, trapped by circumstance, hopefully can survive with the knowledge of the situation until an opportunity for a change arises. Sometimes the change is a rather sudden "un-snapping," but more often it is a gradual thing, occurring over a period of time. Confrontations need to be avoided. During the defending-believing stage, associates of the walkaways / castaways, need to be aware that they are set up as potential enablers of destructive behaviors. The participation as an enabler will only increase the length of time "the bomb" stage will last.
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  shamus

  Um, not really. I pity them more than feel violent toward them.

  Violent rage? Like, feeling extremely angry? Of course. Not violence, though.

  My opinion would change if my whole family / or family members / myself would have been molested by anyone in the borg, and had it covered up. That is for sure.

  Just one man's opinion.

  Shamus
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  Francois

  You're definitely not alone. The leadership of the Borg is one thing; and if there were a hell, there would be special places for the entire leadership of the WTBTS.

  The followers who know no better are a wash. Their lives are likely better off with some structure.

  It's the JWs who should know better for whom there are other special places in hell. Like my uncle (who is more like a brother, or was). Here's a guy who was a research associate in organic chemistry at Eastman. No mean feat. Plays concert piano. Has been an elder since dirt was invented. You're telling me he doesn't know better? I lived with he and his family while I was going to college. There was great love between us all. Or was. I thought. When I faded, he and his entire brood shunned me. Some love. Some brother. There would be a special place in hell for him too. He doesn't begin to understand the phrase "intellectual integrity." And he damn sure doesn't have any.

  Furious? That poor word doesn't even begin to cover it.
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  blondie

  Growing up in with alcoholic, sexually abusing parents used up all my rage long ago. The WTS was small peanuts in comparison. I confronted my parents in a way that was healthy to me. I consider myself an orphan. DNA does not a parent make. I have found "parents" in my teachers, parents of friends, neighbors that cared.

  You cannot save the world and you cannot live people's lives for them. People in the WTS have to reach a point where they will be looking for the love and support you offer.

  Blondie
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  Odrade

  I have a great deal of rage at my parents. I'm beginning to realize at least some of it was misplaced because much of what I'm angry about is stuff they did, "just following orders," of WT. I think the rage is part of the reason I'm so headache prone. That feeling has to come out somewhere. Physical manifestation is the reverse side of strong emotional issues. I really wish I could move past the anger--maybe the headaches would stop, but I think one has to feel it all before they can get rid of it.

  Repression of the rage can be even worse than what we feel right now.