Fading is never 100% successful is it? (page 3)

talesin

Hey. Some issues cannot be resolved. It's the same with my mother. It's been, well, my whole adult life, and after not seeing her for several years, the question was asked "Would you think about coming back?". Even with dementia, and near-death looming, the WTS and its paradise (lost) is her main concern. Seeing my parents, both strong into their 70s, and now old and ill, it's easier to take the high road and let it go. I know there is love between you and your mum, and hope you can maintain. All the best to you, dear Nic. xx

freemindfade

It was an argument by proxy. So here I am after a sleepless night telling you guys about it at 4.30 in the morning.
It's never really over is it?

Don't feel bad Nicolau. No matter how far we get from it, or how much we grow and heel it will always be a part of who we were. In life we can't control the hand we are dealt, just the way we play it. You are playing it well to be where you are now. Don't let the inevitable resurfacing of this sh-t steal your peace for too long. Do something to celebrate how far you have come.

Diogenesister

Our friends do the same though - they got their dog before they had kids but really it's their first child and he's "big brother" to the kids (so protective / patient / playful).

Me too...ours was very much " big sis"

Diogenesister

Mark of cane otherwise I Will Storm into the room with apostate eyes and unleash hell on them

I just saw this, hilarious!!!

DesirousOfChange

Anyone who thinks a dog isn't part of your family has never had a dog and loved it. It's hard not to - they love you unconditionally and completely.

Interesting. Your dog loves you unconditionally, but evidently your God does not. For God, you have to keep juggling more balls, while the Dog understands when you need a break.

Doc

talesin

Oh, and re the dog being part of the family. It is, absolutely, a JW trigger.

The old JWS were taught that animals were not to be coddled or treated as people. I'm sure that one of our great researchers has an Awake! (TM) quote at their fingertips. So, this issue touches on the JW 'old style rules', and when dealing with our parents, any little issue that is against the 'rules' as they see them, take them (and us) back to the roles of child and parent. It is most difficult to establish an adult-to-adult relationship with JW parents, who grew up to see things in an authoritarian way (which was the cultural norm in their day as well); ie, child obeys parent, and never questions.

undercover

I don't think you're 100% out of it, even if you DFd or DAd...if you have family still involved.

I'm faded, and have experiences similar to yours from time to time. I have siblings who are DFd, and they from time to time get dragged into arguments and confrontations.

I have a DFd friend, who has cut off all ties with anything related to JW, but yet still has family active in the faith, and on occasion has to endure their meddling (however well intentioned on their part it may be).

I think this is true of anyone who has left a controlling atmosphere, be it religious, secular, or parental. You know what you know, you've put it behind you, yet from time to time you are reminded of the past, and have to deal with it in the present.

LoveUniHateExams

Agree with others' comments here - it's strange to think that your dog loves you no matter what, but Watchtower God doesn't.

And yes, dogs are very much part of their owner's family. They are social creatures.

When my dad and his partner first got their dog, they'd leave him with me if they wanted to go out.

He was a rescue dog, full size but yet to fill out. He would howl and when I was laying on the sofa, he would actually climb on top of me for comfort - like a baby or very small child.

Fading isn't ideal but then what is? If you go out with a bang, then you'll receive harsh shunning and gossiping about you. Damn the WTS. The sooner it sinks, the better ...

Giordano

I'm out for 48 years and up until my sister and mother passed away every visit with them......... twice to three times a year........ that 800 pound stinky gorilla was always in the room with us. And try as we could any discussion about anything would turn into an argument about da 'truth'.

"Let's not talk about it", my Mother would say....then "oh by the way remember Brother so and so, he said to say hello."

"That's nice Mom how is he doing?"

"He quit his job and he's a pioneer now........ we're so proud of him."

"If he's not working how is he taking care of his wife and kids".

"Well that's between him and Jehovah".

"I would have thought that's between him and his wife and kids".

She gets that stony look.

"So tell me Mom was that a For Sale sign on the Kingdom Hall I saw coming into town?"

Warfare erupts.

Stay silent about the JW's I'd tell myself on the next visit. Just avoid a fight.

Mom would say. "We have a new family that moved into our congregation such lovely people there very clean and well groomed...........(I'm holding back I'm in control)

Brother so and so gave a great talk last Sunday. Our CO is coming to town in a week he's having lunch at our house shame you'll miss his visit".

(hold on this too will pass)

"Your cousin Jimmy has been appointed to the bakery at the farm."

This goes on for a solid hour 'the friends' the Society etc.

Finally she says "I put the latest Awake aside for you.....great article on how to get rid of Colds."

I have come to a breaking point.

"You know Mom it was the Golden Age (forerunner of the Awake) that recommended........ “Air baths are good for preventing colds. What you do is strip naked mornings and evenings and then bob up and down for a while.”(Golden-Age Feb 1926 pg 310)

"I think I'll take a pass on their latest recommendations".

Bam!! WWIII breaks out.

talesin

we're so proud of him."

The harshest cut. ((Gio))

Fading is never 100% successful is it?

Share this