Having children later in life........my dilemma

by logansrun 27 Replies latest jw friends

  • logansrun
    logansrun

    Now, you might be wondering why a 26 year old guy like me would start a thread about experiencing a dilemma with having children later in life. Sure, I know I'm still relatively young and, for all I know, could have a kid before I'm thirty (I currently have no children.....that I know of anyway ). But here's the thing: I don't want to have children -- for a long time!

    Just last year I got out of the JWs. I have a ways to go before I finish my degree -- at the very least two more years of schooling. But that's just a start -- I have a lot I still want to do after that. I can easily see continuing with school for a number of years into the future. I love academia and don't want to quit anytime soon. I also want to travel, experience the world, buy a place of my own and save some money. I feel like I have a good six or seven years of playing catch-up to do. I should have done so much of this already

    So, that's the problem -- there is so much I want to do that having children is out of the question for a while. But, I do want to have them...eventually. I think that having children greatly adds to satisfaction in life, especially as you get older. (The thought of being a grampa is very appealing to me...weird, huh?)So, what do you all think or know about having children later in adulthood, say your early forties? I know for women there are health risks in having a child at that age, but fortunately not for men . (I guess I plan on marrying a younger woman ) But then I think of having a teenager at sixty and....oh boy..

    Am I over-thinking this, or being realistic?

    Bradley

  • SixofNine
    SixofNine

    Bradley, run down to the bookstore and find you a Cosmo or the men's magazines equivalent thereof. They always have at least one article on "having it all". Read, apply, and shut the fuck up.

    j/k. My father was 56 when I was born. It's not absolutely ideal, but it's not that bad (at least for me, considering the alternative, heheh).

    ps. you'll make a hell of a lot better father at 56 than you will at 26

  • logansrun
    logansrun

    6/9,

    Bradley, run down to the bookstore and find you a Cosmo or the men's magazines equivalent thereof. They always have at least one article on "having it all". Read, apply, and shut the fuck up.

    ROFLMAO

  • OrbitingTheSun
    OrbitingTheSun

    I wouldn’t worry too much about when you can have a child. Worry about the woman you will eventually be with and her fertility. You can produce sperm into your senior years, she will be low on eggs by her 30s and nearly out of them in her 40s. Of course, fertility isn’t the only concern but if you have a mental timeline it is something to consider.

  • StinkyPantz
    StinkyPantz

    Brad-

    I hear ya! I am 24 and everyone keeps telling me to finish school before I attempt to have kids (I want to at least get my Master's). But if I do that, I'll be at least 29 when I start having kids! Suppose I want 2 or 3? Then I'll be 35 and trying to have a kid. You think that's bad? Jon is now 33, if we wait until I'm done with school, he'll be 37 when we start, or into his early 40s when we finish. I know it can be done, but the older you get, the harder it is. I too want to travel more. I have been to Australia and Africa; but I have a lot more to see. . .I dunno. . .

    So basically I have no advice to offer, I feel like I am in the same boat.

  • logansrun
    logansrun

    OTS,

    Thanks. I have a very high sperm count. Hope I don't run out.

    B

  • logansrun
    logansrun

    SP,

    I could always donate some sperm for you if hubby runs out .

    Seriously, I know what you mean. But, I don't really plan on having more than one child. Two maximum. Is that bad? Hope my (future) wife agrees. Maybe I should just clone myself? They will have perfected it by then.

    Bradley

  • StinkyPantz
    StinkyPantz

    Logan-

    I ideally want one also, but who know's how I'll feel later? Suppose your first child is a girl, many men will try again for a boy. .

    Oh and thanks for the offer, but I think Jon's count is just fine.

  • OrbitingTheSun
    OrbitingTheSun
    Maybe I should just clone myself?

    Or adopt a bonobo!

  • logansrun
    logansrun

    Personally, I would like to have a girl. I have a soft spot in my heart for girls. If I had a boy he would probably remind me of myself too much. Nah, I want a girly girl.

    Bradley

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