I was raised a witness and stayed as one right up until I
was 35. Throughout the years, I disagreed with several teachings. Due to these
differences in opinions, I was never able to “take the lead” as I could not see
myself teaching things on the platform that I did not personally believe.
Still, I was happy as a witness in that I had friends and nothing too serious
shook my boat. Until I had kids. As they grew up, I came to realized that I
would have to teach my kids the society’s truth and not my personal beliefs. If
I ever did such a thing, I’d risk the chance of being “exposed as an apostate”,
one day or another. If that day came in late, I could even lose my kids as they
would turn against me in favor of the watchtower.
This seriously came in as a shock. These differences in
opinions did not feel serious enough for me to leave the watchtower. After all,
I followed the watchtower’s advice to be meek, humble, and to “Wait on Jehovah”.
I kept in mind that they’re imperfect, and could not expect their teachings to
be infallible.
But wait a second, why aren’t they humble as well? Why would
they feel the need to take actions against me if it ever came to their
attention that my teaching was different then theirs, even in small matters?
I than carefully looked at how they consider anyone who
disagree with their teachings, including apostates. They insult them on a
regular basis: “they do the will of their father Satan”, “prideful” “fornicators”
“anti-Christ”, “they don’t love Jehovah”, “they left God to pursue their desire”,
etc.
It than came clear to me: Even if I tried to explain how I
actually want to serve God, all they’d hear are the insults regularly thrown about
in their teachings: “Lazy Snob”, “he wants to lead people after him”, “false
prophet”, “puts his trust in man rather than God”.
How can an organization claiming to represent God and treat
people who disagreed with them even on insignificant details as I did? Acting
this way is far from doing the will of God. They have exchanged the will of God
which is essentially about love towards him and your neighbor and placed in
numerical values about field service hours, meeting attendance, privileges,
donations, etc. All the while, becoming increasingly concerned about the survival
of the organization rather than actually upholding righteousness.
So, I have left. With
my wife and kids. I was not a sinner and I was not mad at anyone in my
congregation. I was not sick, and I was not working too much. I was simply a
man that felt the Watchtower lacked the love that they preached.