Is Being a “Manly Man” a Bad Thing? (page 7)

iliketreasure

so much is said regarding men , in a negative way. Shaving commercials are now lecturing us as to how bad we really are. Men should be less masculine.
I think it’s ridiculous!

I don't know. I'm a 38-year-old-man and I think the ad is amazing and I felt proud being a man, because of it. I have no idea why people think its anti-masculine. It says the image of men in the past wasn't as awesome as it could be, and yeah thats true. I never liked those gender stereotypes. I want male to be associated with strong, righteousness, worth, love, being content, self-esteem, defining his own way of life, respect; you know positive things. But I was brought up too learning that its mostly just homophobia, fear, violence, being better than women at all cost, being all-time horny and similar. A lot of depressing shit, which is supposed to be manly. It's not. It's us men downing themselves. I remember as a kid when I realized that I will be a man, I didnt like it. Why? All my supposed role models in media and society werent positive. Men seemed to push everyone down, securing their top spot in society, while doing not much to actually earn it, including my own dad. I realized this as a 9 year-old and it made me very sad. A million gender rules, when we just need to love ourselves and respect others. Women had their emancipation and we men still don't. Its time.

And yeah, I want that change. I don't want to associate "male" with crime, bullying, rape, war, disrespect in the future. Thats not strength, thats weakness.

"Toxic masculinity" does NOT mean that masculinity IS toxic. But we surely idolized a lot of awful behavior as being "male", when its just a**hole behaviour in the past.

I want us men be free from our own agenda. We're so much more. I want to be proud.

Simon

It seem like some people have a warped view of manhood. They have come across brash, arrogant, abusive men and decided that they are the epitome of "manly" ... but they are not and it's unfair to denigrate masculinity because of those any more than it is to rubbish feminism because some women are abusive mothers or hookers.

Real men are courageous and kind, they are not afraid to be laughed at or mocked for being gentle but have a strength when it is needed - it's more important to do the right thing than to be right or to demonstrate might.

I let my hair grow long and my friends daughter (nearly 5) just loves to "style" it which means making me look like a reject from a 60's boy-band ... with extra pink ribbons and bows added. Of course a party full of people is no reason anyone should ever deny an invitation to have their hair styled.

Does it make me feel manly? Hell no ... but I think I'm more manly than what a lot of people mistake for it and if it puts a smile on a little girls face then I don't care. I'm old fashioned - I hold doors open for women even if it's no longer the done thing but I don't care.

minimus

I think some people have had bad experiences with men and it has warped their views.

snugglebunny

Like most guys I've always regarded myself as an alpha male and all other fellas as merely aspiring alpha males.

LoveUniHateExams

"Toxic masculinity" does NOT mean that masculinity IS toxic - so it's toxic behaviour being called out, not masculine behaviour.

It's just pure coincidence that all the people called out for toxic behaviour are exclusively men.

Xanthippe

It's just pure coincidence that all the people called out for toxic behaviour are exclusively men.

No you're forgetting your rant about your wicked step-mother who stole your inheritance LUHE. You got very angry about that toxic woman.

LoveUniHateExams

@Xant - I'm Joe Nobody posting on a little corner of the interwebs.

When I say 'all the people called out for toxic behaviour just happen to be men', the calling out I'm referring to is the Gilette advert and the tons of articles in MSM.

It's only ever men that are called out, despite toxic behaviour not being a gendered issue ...

em1913

The phrase "toxic masculinity" doesn't even mean what most people think it means -- it was coined to refer to behaviors and attitudes that are toxic *to men themselves,* especially to the idealization of the repression and denial of emotion and to the idea that there is a strict line between "masculine" and "feminine" behavior that must never be crossed. That's *toxic masculinity,* because it sets a standard for so-called manhood that no man can possibly achieve. Or in JW terms, it's the DO MORE voice implanted in the back of your mind, where a goal is set that will never and can never be reached. Toxic.

tiki

Well...I am a woman and I prefer he-men to effeminate types. The gender fluidity thing is a hallmark of the current era....and in my observation ones hormonal balances have a lot to do with how one comports him/herself..I do not condone guys who get so off on their testosterone they behave badly....but a totally masculine intelligent man with heart is the best!!!

LoveUniHateExams

The phrase "toxic masculinity" doesn't even mean what most people think it means - I believe it to mean 'attitudes and qualities that are masculine, expressed in a toxic or pathological manner'. This is based on the OED's definitions of masculine and toxic. It has nothing to do with 'The Patriarchy'.

it was coined to refer to behaviors and attitudes that are toxic *to men themselves - it may have started from a good place, i.e. an attempt to improve masculine behaviour in a by-gone misogynistic era, but it now just seems to be a stick that feminists and other trendy people use to beat men with. This suspicion is heightened because MSM are only ever interested in fighting toxic masculinity, never toxic femininity.

The Gillette advert is a effing joke, if I didn't know better I'd think it's a piss-take of the current political climate.

the idea that there is a strict line between "masculine" and "feminine" behavior that must never be crossed - sorry, there is a line between masculine and feminine behaviour. The two sexes - male & female - have evolved to be different anatomically, biologically and behaviourally.

We live in a free society, so the line can be crossed ... but it does exist.

Is Being a “Manly Man” a Bad Thing?

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