I don't think I will be able to escape the JWs ...

by nevaagain 41 Replies latest jw friends

  • DesirousOfChange
    DesirousOfChange

    Don't believe the Watchtower bull that all "worldly" girls are promiscuous, that's silly. And so what if they do have experience? ~ LisaRose

    Lisa, this may be the situation of a good JDub boy who would be intimidated by a woman that already has some "experience" and is expecting "something" more than he's prepared to give. He's already expressed a fear of rejection by his JW friends. Can you imagine the fear of rejection a guy with no "experience" has about dating an "experienced worldly gal"?

    It's been a long, long time ago, but I vividly remember being in that situation with "worldly girls". [OK, so at that time I was not all that "good" of a JW boy!] If I could go back in time, I would surely make different decisions if I knew then what I know now!!. . . . Doc

  • Half banana
    Half banana

    Oh! Nevaagain, you knew you by posting you would get some flack and indeed your words are truly sad. Perhaps you felt in need some prodding? You are also old before your time--- 36 is still young!

    For the sake of your dignity and own happiness: get a life of your own choosing, not the pathetic straightjacket the org hands out.

    You have become institutionalised and that is a tragedy.

    Xanthippe's warning is real possibility ... how would you feel in 10 years time because you just went with the JW flow? Think about it.

    Even you know there is another life awaiting you...make new friends including with non-JW females and don't pre-judge them with Watchtower assumptions because remember the Watchtower is always wrong. Courage my friend!

  • OUTLAW
    OUTLAW

    I don't think I will be able to escape the JWs ...

    I have adapted to the JW lifestyle to a point where it does not bother me anymore.

    You Don`t Want To Escape The JW`s..

    YOUR HAPPY WHERE YOU ARE..

    Image result for happy in jail

  • Stealth
    Stealth

    @Neva,

    Just wondering now that you are single and awake how you will approach meeting new JW women?

    Will you be truthful with them about knowing TTATT?

    Most JW women will expect you to reach out for service and if you don't do that it can lead to marital problems.

    How can you be truthful with a potential single women and at the same time keep a lid on your true feelings.

    As far as not having as much experience with worldly women (tm)? Try watching some porn, you will figure it out!

  • OrphanCrow
    OrphanCrow
    stealth:
    As far as not having as much experience with worldly women (tm)? Try watching some porn, you will figure it out!

    Huh? There is far, far more to 'worldy' women than what they do sexually.

    Far more.
    In fact, there is far more to all women than what they do in the bedroom. Your suggestion to watch porn to figure out 'worldy' women is immature.

    Rather than watching porn to try to figure out what to do with women, maybe taking the view that women are more than an sexual object would be a good place to start.

  • steve2
    steve2

    Who really knows your situation but you? Physically leaving is no guarantee someone leaves it behind. There are plenty who have left physically but carry on as if still in and there are others who feel the need to remain but are no longer "in" so to speak.

    Surely all any else can do when hearing about your conclusions about your situation is "hear" what you're saying and empathize. The only thing I would "add" is sometimes when doors to new opportunities appear shut, the keys might be somewhere in your pocket. Who knows what possibilities there could be for you in the mid to longer term.

    Best. Steve

  • Giordano
    Giordano
    If someone followed my threads then you would know that my JW wife cheated on me and left me some months ago. So many gave me the advice to either leave or at least fade from the witnesses. But I feel way too lonely to do that. I am 36 years old now and meeting new people at this age is getting harder and harder.

    The key thing for me is your statement that your wife left you a few months ago....... I would expect that it was and is a depressing and demeaning experience. So you may not be the most confident person right now.

    I applaud you for dismissing the belief aspects of being a JW and knowing that you need the contacts and meet ups that a congregation or assembly can provide.

    If I was in your shoes at this time I'd begin to move into some worldly circles. It is so much easier to get to meet people if you can duplicate what you have experienced........... Meeting with a group of people on a regular basis. People that you have something in common with. So I'd look at volunteering. Really good people are drawn to volunteering. Doesn't matter if it's one of the animal rescue shelters or the library. You can do some good in the volunteer world. And It feels good to give back to the community you live in.

    My other piece of advice is look for JW's who are casual witnesses....very casual. The more casual the better. People...... men as well women ( you'll need some guy pals).....women who are also interested in the social aspect of the JW life style. A person who dates, doesn't go out in service very often, comes late to a meeting, looks and acts slightly bored. Dresses a bit more provocatively. Comes back from a vacation with a tan and talks about how great it was....... not about attending a meeting with the locals.

    Find out early on if they can accept a non reaching out type of person like yourself. Even a person who isn't involved in field service. Then get to know that person really well before you make a commitment to marry.

  • westiebilly11
    westiebilly11

    How long can you tread water?...Wish you well, you're clearly in a confort zone...if you're happy as you are then no one should criticize you...but be true to yourself....to do otherwise is fools gold..

  • Stealth
    Stealth

    @OrphanCrow

    I Didn't intend to come off as being sexist in my comment about watching porn. I was just speaking from my own experience after leaving the cult and dating women on the outside.

    I had no issues what so ever with meeting and interacting with worldly women with the exception of my lack of sexual experiences and that was a direct result of being raised a JW and their bedroom rules. And yes, watching a little porn did help me get up to speed in that area.

    I just assumed that @Neva was referring to that, based on my own experience. I have always respected women and maybe I just wasn't as socially retarded as others and took his comment sexually when he did not intend it to be.

    I apologize if my words offended anyone.

  • redvip2000
    redvip2000

    @OP

    Think about this for a second. You do understand that in your quest to find a new woman, that your pool of candidates are most likely delusional individuals who buy into the bullshit that you have awaken from, right?

    There are many married folks who struggle daily with managing a marriage with a hardcore JW, and yet, you are seeking to put yourself in that position. Why?

    There is a sea of women out there to meet. Each of them can introduce you to a new circle of friends if needed. Don't waste your time in the org. Create an online profile on a dating website and try a few dates.

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