I don't think I will be able to escape the JWs ...

by nevaagain 41 Replies latest jw friends

  • SamTheGinge
    SamTheGinge

    You say you think you can't escape, but how much of it is down to not wanting to? Or being scared of being in the 'World' on your own?

    I lived a double life for the best part of 10 years, which included the entirety of my 1st marriage. I used to go out drinking and getting drunk with my other JW friends, I even partook in minor drug taking (just a bit of weed), but never actually took it up as a habit. All of this lead to no more than a stern reprimand from the Elders.

    When my 1st marriage ended after just 2 years (I was married at a young age, for the obvious reasons I have to say) I went off the rails a little bit, barely attended any meetings and I certainly didn't go out on Field Service. I would get visits from the Elders to try and set me straight, but I knew it wasn't for me. In the end I moved Towns to try and reignite the desire to be in the Truth. I soon met another young Witness girl, and one thing lead to another, and my double life finally caught me out, I was disfellowshipped. Though I tried to set things straight and got married, I knew that I would be out of the Clan for good, not without a few abortive attempts at trying to get reinstated. My 2nd wife and I got divorced after I realised that I couldn't go back to being a Witness, though she wanted to make a go of it, which she still does and is doing 'well'.

    I would urge you to make a choice and stick to it. I have been out if it now for 12 years and I would say that I am happier now. I am with a 'Wordly' girl, and have been for 3 years now. She fully understands my background and history, and she knew enough about the Witnesses before we got together, so that helps when I need to talk about things.... Even though she's actually a Wiccan herself! (the irony eh?).

    Do what you think is right for yourself, but being half in and half out is not a good way to live.

  • Fernando
    Fernando

    No judgement just an observation.

    When our behaviour and beliefs do not align this can be stressful.

    Psychologists call it cognitive dissonance.

    Apparently we are hardwired to change either our beliefs or our behaviour to achieve congruence and peace/ease.

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