You say you think you can't escape, but how much of it is down to not wanting to? Or being scared of being in the 'World' on your own?
I lived a double life for the best part of 10 years, which included the entirety of my 1st marriage. I used to go out drinking and getting drunk with my other JW friends, I even partook in minor drug taking (just a bit of weed), but never actually took it up as a habit. All of this lead to no more than a stern reprimand from the Elders.
When my 1st marriage ended after just 2 years (I was married at a young age, for the obvious reasons I have to say) I went off the rails a little bit, barely attended any meetings and I certainly didn't go out on Field Service. I would get visits from the Elders to try and set me straight, but I knew it wasn't for me. In the end I moved Towns to try and reignite the desire to be in the Truth. I soon met another young Witness girl, and one thing lead to another, and my double life finally caught me out, I was disfellowshipped. Though I tried to set things straight and got married, I knew that I would be out of the Clan for good, not without a few abortive attempts at trying to get reinstated. My 2nd wife and I got divorced after I realised that I couldn't go back to being a Witness, though she wanted to make a go of it, which she still does and is doing 'well'.
I would urge you to make a choice and stick to it. I have been out if it now for 12 years and I would say that I am happier now. I am with a 'Wordly' girl, and have been for 3 years now. She fully understands my background and history, and she knew enough about the Witnesses before we got together, so that helps when I need to talk about things.... Even though she's actually a Wiccan herself! (the irony eh?).
Do what you think is right for yourself, but being half in and half out is not a good way to live.