Sounds like Intentional Infliction of Mental Distress to me.... or some other form of Tortious Conduct...
Mustang
Have The Elders Ever Told You They Needed To Speak 2 You After The Meeting?
by minimus 26 Replies latest jw friends
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minimus
Elders like to do this so that you can be in fear of them. It's obvious that it will get a person nervous or sick to their stomach....It's all about CONTROL!!!!!!!!!!!
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amac
I remember an elder pulling me aside about the length of my sideburns. The ironic parts is I just saw him at the convention with a goatee (he hasn't been an elder for a few years now.) He's also a much nicer guy now.
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minimus
Hair is a big issue for elders. Facial hair, head hair, body hair......no hair, colored hair, bleached hair, shaved hair......
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NeonMadman
Oh, I'm sorry, I thought the title said, "Have The Elders Ever Told You They Needed To Spank You After The Meeting?"
Pretty much the same thing...
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Bendrr
When I was 16, it was an almost weekly thing. Every Thursday night I knew what to expect. I'd get called back there and just basically berated for a good hour. What really pissed me off was that at the time I was still trying so hard to be a good Witness. I had plans to pioneer and go to Bethel. I had privileges like working the magazine counter and handling mics. I gave talks #2 and #4 regularly.
What it all came down to was that I "stood out". Out of the three teenage elders' sons in the congregation, matter of fact the only 3 teenage publishers period, I was the first to get my driver's license and a car. The other two were jealous of that, even though they were only like 14 or so, and so their dads were jealous and like the old saying goes "the nail that sticks up will be hammered down". Plus behind the scenes was this one little weasel of an elder (Dan Mason, nicknamed "The Enforcer") who always made sure that the congregation rumor mill had something about me in it at all times. He'd run his mouth behind my back and make sure I got called into a meeting but he never had the guts to be in one of those weekly meetings himself.
What's suprising is that I stayed in there as long as I did. I finally started "falling away" when I was 19 and didn't get "fired" until I was 20.
Mike.
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Euphemism
Elders like to do this so that you can be in fear of them. It's obvious that it will get a person nervous or sick to their stomach....It's all about CONTROL!!!!!!!!!!!
Sorry, minimus, but I have to disagree. I'm sure there are some elders that think that way. But for most of the ones I knew, it was more of a practical matter. They wanted to let you know to please not leave right after the meeting, so that they could talk to you.
The whole fact that they were 'counseling' you in the first place, of course, was part of the control mechanism. But I know very few elders who intentionally endeavored to instill fear. Most of the ones I knew were essentially kind men; definitely misled, probably unqualified for the heavy responsibility they were given, sometimes a little full of themselves... but not evil or sadistic.
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minimus
I know that when you see, year after year how people respond to being told BEFORE a meeting that you want to talk to them and then hearing the people say how nervous they were, it's a control mechanism. I stopped doing that yrs. ago because I thought it was unkind and obvious as to how it affected the people.
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garybuss
One did that to me one time. It was my last meeting. I kicked the door on the way out, never went back. Bitched me out for not wearing a neck tie. I told him to stick it up his ass. GaryB -
willyloman
Elders like to do this so that you can be in fear of them. It's obvious that it will get a person nervous or sick to their stomach....It's all about CONTROL!!!!!!!!!!!
Actually, this is not always the case. I think the main reason for asking people to meet after the meeting is so that the person didn't leave immediately after the final song... in which case it would be three or four days before you have a chance to talk with them at the hall (of course, you could go over to their house, but elders hate that and convenience rules). Many times, publishers the elders wanted to discuss some problem with were the kind who didn't always come to the meetings and almost always made a beeline for the parking lot during the first syllable in "Amen." So the heads-up prior to the start of the meeting was by way of making an appointment. And, yes, it did create stress for them, but, hey, elders know better than to let feelings get in the way of process!