Stupidest thing a JW ever told you

by Nosferatu 193 Replies latest jw friends

  • iiz2cool
    iiz2cool
    "Well if your jobs interupt your meeting attendence, you need to quit them, Jehovah will provide."

    Yeah, I fell for this crap once and didn't accept evening shift jobs because I didn't want to miss meetings. The only thing I was 'provided' with was an eviction notice for non-payment of rent.

    Walter

  • jwbot
    jwbot

    "why do you need to go to college when you can just marry a fine brother who will support you?"

    BARF!

    BARF!

    DOUBLE BARF!

    I wish right there I coulda told them that their "brothers" are assholes and I would rather go for a fine sister. haha

  • avishai
    avishai

    How about this one, Demons lost the ability to physically manifest after the flood.

    If you see a ghost, it's not a ghost, but a demon.

    Which is it, guys?

  • Friendly Sid
    Friendly Sid

    Hey I finally had a reason to post a reply.

    I never was became a JW but I had started going initially because my wife was real involved.

    There was one thing that the JW told me that floored me. I was really concerned about how the blood policy had

    kill children. I said that any adult that wanted to believe, that was their right, but I was really bother by allowing children to make

    a life threatening decision like that. They could not possibly have the understanding or be allowed to make that choice. Then the JW said

    "What makes the difference if you die when your 10 years old or 70 years old?!" Boy did he do me a favor... that did it for me!

    By the way, my wife is still in and has been baptized. I try not to intervene much and I hoping that she some day will see the light.

  • Stan Conroy
    Stan Conroy

    1) "That was the best convention ever"

    2) That the JWs are growing is proof that they are the true religion

    3) That Noah and his family were God's organization at the time.

    4) That "fart" is a swear word, and should not be used by Christians

    5) You can always tell people who masturbate because of their lack of seriousness, always quick with a joke. (That was in a public talk)

    6) That some young people demonstrate their worldly desires by being involved in motorcycle accidents. ( That was from a circuit assembly)

    7) That at the age of 33, I should review the chapter in the "Young People Ask" book about dating

    8) That having a beard stumbles everyone in the congregation

    There are so many more...

    Stan

  • Disheartened
    Disheartened
    Hey Disheartend was your circuit overseer's name Johnny Cochrane?

    LOL!

  • Elsewhere
    Elsewhere
    5) You can always tell people who masturbate because of their lack of seriousness, always quick with a joke. (That was in a public talk)

    Yuck! Yuck! Yuck! Pbthththth!

  • Austrian
    Austrian

    My dad told me - "Son I don't think you will ever drive a car" I'm 31 years old

    My dad and mom - "Son masturbation will lead to homosexuality"

    An elder to his son - "Skateboarding is dangerous. It shows you don't present yourself a sacrafice to jehovah" That was also his excuse for not letting his son play any sports.

    My dad told me that 1986 the International Year of Peace was going to start the great Trib.

    I think this is a topic everyone could go on and on about...

  • acsot
    acsot

    "True Christians shouldn't watch figure skating because some of the skaters are gay."

    Thankfully, some of the dubs who heard this from the platform weren't totally braindead and when I went on a Bible study with a pioneer we had to convince the lady (was unfortunately was swallowing everything lock, stock and barrel) that it really was okay to watch the gold medal round of Olympic figure skating competition that evening in spite of what the idiot elder said (although we didn't quite word it that way).

  • KGB
    KGB

    My stepfather told me one time that only JW's dressed up, I looked at him and just shook my head it was the dumbest thing I ever heard him say. And my mother told me that JW's don't lie and steal..HA what a bunch of bull..........I told her that that was a lie because she lied to me about their religion being the truth when it was not.......There was a lie right there.........

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