I'm back (page 3)

phats

Yes, The Pic is my alter ego Phats. Thats is the most peace loving, easy going person you could ever meet. Let me tell you this, I think you would be suprised.

My wife is cool with everything. This month records my 10 anniversary out. Phats.

SafeAtHome. It's crazy sometimes but me & my daughter can be surrounded by super JWs at family parties & they've got no idea of how we really feel. Sometime I really suffer from a nervous laugh when we look at each other. Phats.

SafeAtHome

Hey, just got back from a baseball game. I have been out since early 1985, was in since my parents came in when I was about 10, so was a good little JW for 25 years. All family on my dad's side were in. Started to fade when I got divorced. Ended up being the best thing to ever happen to me! Married a non-JW and began a new life. Haven't been shunned per se, but definitely been excluded from some family gatherings. This site keeps me up on the latest so I know what's going on with my still in relatives. All the older ones, parents, aunts, uncles are gone now. Remember, they weren't supposed to grow old in this system, but here I am with siblings and cousins growing old. We were the 1975 generation who were told we wouldn't even graduate from high school! How does this crazy cult still exist and suck people in?

phats

May I ask how old you are? I'm 52. Phats.

SafeAtHome

65! Looking and feeling fine! As someone here said recently, when they run into Witnesses they knew from long ago, those who grew up with the 1975 thing hanging over them, they look and project an old tiredness. I saw this recently at a gathering where I saw people I hadn't seen in 20 or more years. They were spouting the same old mantra....we really need the Kingdom, blah blah blah. They have become old, not preparing for an adequate retirement. I can't even imagine their mindset all these years being told it is so close, just around the corner.

phats

Yes, So much of my family are still super in. This is my 10th summer out. I managed a great fade after the our lazy study conductor mucked up so I saw my opportunity to get out with them not being able to do anything because I had the sympathy of the cong publishers that all new i was doing more than he was. Looking after all his duties as well as my own because his work took him away a lot of the time. Anyway, That's long ago & I"M FREE AT LAST, FREE AT LAST, FREE AT LAST & IT'S GREAT. Great to hear from you & you're right about seeing people. There still where they have been all there lives. Phats.

freddo

Hi Phats and welcome back. Do you mind me asking specifically how you faded out without getting the elders on your case? Or did you and if so how did you deal with them?

phats

Hi Freddo,

Yes. I had been an unwilling MS for way to many years. I never wanted it but I was appointed without being asked. Don't ask me why but all my familly that controlled this kind of thing just wanted it to happen then it happened if you know what I mean.

Anyway. I had never really wanted to do it but I'm ashamed to say it was the easy option because my entire life was being a JW. I'm sure many know the score on that one.

So. me & my wife moved. She did not know what's going on in my head at the time so I just put it down to needing to get to where the work is. Anyway we moved a long way away & I then stopped going to the meetings. I found myself in a limbo land between one congregation & another. so I took some time out. About 3 months. Then we basically ran out of money + we were getting no rent payments from the people renting our house so I'm ashamed to say I went back & no one was the wiser.

I new if I went back I would get work. So I went back said hello. My old cong sent the most glowing report of me that was sickening. They thought I was some super MS when I just was quite not. Anyway had the elder meeting with the customary visit to see me & my wife all nice & proper but as the conversation went on I managed to say to him that he should not take any notice of the letter because it was not a recommendation of me but of them as great MS building men. He's says the body have never had such an encouraging letter & I'm saying it's not accurate.

Well once again I'm flunking of the Thursday meeting with some lame excuse & my wife come back & says "Oh, buy the way you were re appointed today. It was like a kick in the guts. I couldn't believe it. I've done all this & I'm back where I was. I went to the Elders saying aren't you supposed to ask me a question or something & they say "no". It was just a matter of cause with a letter like yours came with such a recomend it just happends.

so I'm screwed & then I'm told to please not stand down as it will shock the congregation. So 10 years later I'm still in. 2 kids & surrounded by JWs left, right & centre.

So I'm keeping my head down avoiding all the if you did this you would qualify for Elder & I'm just trying to keep everybody happy except me.

Then one day I get a call from an Elder buddy of mine. we go back years. I'm thinking what dose he want to borrow now. He says we need to talk & I know what that means. He come around with another Elder (A man I employed for 18 months) To be told I was being removed. I said what are you talking about. They said well you have been given all the encouragement we can give you. you've been told you need to do 2 more ours a week to get to an average of what the society want from MSes. I then informed them I had had no such discussion with anyone apart fro one elder telling me I can count my study time with my girls & that will give me 2 more hours a week & that will mean I'm doing even more time to count & it will look like I'm reaching out.

I said I didn't feel I should count that time. He said "Well the sociaty allows it so there you go" Well, I Didn't.

So I'm then told that my study conductor has been round 3 time & told me what I need to do about this 2 hours (My wife is a regular pioneer for over2 years at this point.) But he never did. He was to lazy. When I told them this there faces dropped. So they went back to him & he said it's true I just never got the time.

Thing is when they came back to me I told them that he had indeed been round on 3 more like 10 or 20 occasions but we watched motor racing together & he drank MY beer & then drove home.

Well it was blank faces all round. They said, "we've sent the paperwork off, it's come back rubber stamped. we can't revoke it. I said "It's fine. Don't worry" All I ask is that when you make the announcement that the next week an Elder stands up & says the body made a mistake in my account & they are sorry for that. Then I said no one will be wondering what bad thing had I done & it would help my wife who was struggling with the whole thing. I was told "NO WAY" I said why not? & they said NO WAY. NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. So I showed then scriptures about if a man bull kills a man the family have a say in there recompense, all that but still NO. So because of all the crazy ness & the fact word was getting out that the Elders had mucked up big time & that they we in for an ear bashing so I took this as my opportunity to get the hell out & lay low, be the injured party. Leave him alone, give him some space. So I took my space. 10 years of space so far.

So. No DF. Plenty of contact with family. It's like there's no change, i just don't go. It's crazy but it's true. Learn there game & play them back at it. People say oh! just leave. well for me the thing was I don't want them to have that power over me or my family.

They will always have some power somewhere but I get to say where it is so FeUgCioKgw you to them.

Funny thing is after 10 years my life with my still very loyal wife & 2 girls is great.(One out completelly & the other asking great questions)

I'm as happy as a pig in shxt. I'am as free as I can possibley be under the circumstances that I put myself in back in 1984.

I play my little games as they think i have no idea of what's going on but places like this keep me armed so when someone come in all bubbly about some crazy coincidence that only J could have done I have great stuff to bring them down. Sorry it's just my little let off of steam. Anyway I've taken forever to right this as it would taken you to read it.

I'm rather dyslexic so sorry for my bad spelling & grammar & all my ramblings. Phats.

I'm back

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