What should I do?

by Tameria2001 29 Replies latest jw friends

  • Tameria2001
    Tameria2001

    Hello everyone, it's been quite a while since I was last on this forum. Originally I was under a different user name, but lost all that information when I moved to a different state. Anyways, I had left the JWs back in 2001, after being raised up in it most of my childhood life. I don't know if they still use this term, but back then my husband and I sent in our dissociation letters. At the time I had done quite a bit of research to make sure I was making the right decision, after all quite a few of both my husband's and myself, our relatives are JWs. As a result of our decision, our children were able to grow up to be true to who they really are. They are both two well adjusted young men who are very happy with their lives, who haven't had to deal with the heartache of being cut off from their loved ones. They were quite young when we came to this decision. Those relatives are nothing but strangers to them.

    Anyways, most of the time I'm perfectly fine, but there are times such as today, I feel that those PEOPLE love poking at wounds that have long since closed. At the moment it feels more like they are poking a bear with a stick, and me being the bear, a very grumpy bear, one that is just waking up from it's hibernation. Not to go into too much detail, but what is going on, we are having a family reunion. Most of those attending will be non-JWs, but they are jumping though hoops for the few JW relatives that are going to be there. I was informed just the day before this was to take place, that for a couple of hours of the reunion, we are allowed to be there, and then we have to leave. So the JW relatives won't throw a stink and make a big scene, like they did the last time. At the moment I'm in half a mind to not even bother, yet on the other hand I have always refused to play by their (JW) games.

  • never a jw
    never a jw

    Go and don't leave until the end of the reunion. Or don't go at all. Nothing half way.

  • Pete Zahut
    Pete Zahut

    Unbelievable......what an insult...talk about bad etiquette and tacky behavior !

    This is as bad as being invited to a party and finding out you were only invited over for drinks while everyone else would be staying for dinner. I can't imagine why non JW's would do this to you and jump through such hoops for the JW's especially if they are in the minority of attendees.

    If it were me, I'd tell the host that I'd love to attend but can't abide by having my family treated like a bunch of Lepers simply because we stopped attending a certain church. I'd tell them that I left such nonsense behind years ago and the only way I'd attend is if the invitation was without these insulting time limits and these ridiculous shift changes. That or I'd say nothing and stay as long as I pleased....let the JW's make a scene about it if they want.

  • Heartsafire
    Heartsafire

    I'm with never a jw on this one. You have every right to be there for the entirety of the reunion. You have done nothing wrong. The people with the problem are the JW relatives, and unless they are the ones actually hosting the reunion, they hold no more precedence than anyone else. Hold your head high, and show your family that you have been happy and successful despite what they may have been taught about "worldly" people. If they have a problem, they can be the ones to leave early.

  • millie210
    millie210

    Why cant the JW relatives be the ones to leave after a few hours? Since they are the ones with the special requirements?

    That would work out in my case because I am usually running late anyhow! They could leave before I actually made it (if it were me).

    Besides, those type of parties are always more fun towards the end than in the beginning. So let em come and go. Then the real fun can start once you get there.

    I am sorry you have to deal with this. It is so very unfair and I would say childish but children actually dont do silly things like this.

  • berrygerry
    berrygerry

    Most of those attending will be non-JWs, but they are jumping though hoops for the few JW relatives that are going to be there. I was informed just the day before this was to take place, that for a couple of hours of the reunion, we are allowed to be there, and then we have to leave. So the JW relatives won't throw a stink and make a big scene, like they did the last time.

    This is whack.

    Expected from the JW's, but what is the point of jumping through hoops for them. The JW's should not be attending a "worldly" function anyways.

    This is outright emotional abuse to all members of your family.

  • Quarterback
    Quarterback

    Family reunions seem to be a challenge for many. You should go with your head held high.

  • DesirousOfChange
    DesirousOfChange

    My first inclination is to politely tell the family member issuing the limited invitation to f*ck off and explain it as Pete did above. (Good explanation there, Pete!)

    However, if you really want to attend and see the rest of the family, I say that whether you stay or leave depends mainly on the venue of the party. Is it at the private home of the host who is inviting you? Then it would be rude to disregard their wishes. If it is at a public place, then I'd go and stay as long as I wanted. You might reply that you are delighted to come, and that while you have no real desire to be in the company of the JW family who have treated you rudely, you will gladly make an exception so that you can visit with the rest of the family. You will of course be respectful and courteous, and you would expect the JW family members to do the same. "Surely you really do not mean that WE should not attend because THEY do not want to associate with us. Is it not just as easily their option to attend or to refuse the offer of the invitation or to leave early?"

    Good luck,

    Doc

  • ToesUp
    ToesUp

    If you want to go...go. Tell the family members if you are invited, you will leave when you feel like leaving. If the JW relatives don't like it then THEY can leave or opt not to go. I wouldn't play their games.

    Welcome back!

  • LisaRose
    LisaRose

    Wow, that is rude. Since it is the JWs who have a problem with you, they should be the ones to have to leave early. Why should they cater to them because they made a stink last time? It's like they are being rewarded for being A$$holes.

    Personally I wouldn't bother going, but if you really want to see the family then go and enjoy the time you have and then go off and do something else really fun. Be sure and mention your plans (fancy restruant, great concert, great movie) as they say, living well is the best revenge.

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