Some Questions; Civil Answers Please

by Swan 26 Replies latest jw friends

  • Undecided
    Undecided

    The main thing this discusson board did for me was start me thinking. I had just closed my mind to realities. That was not really bad as I was going through life pretty well, but now I enjoy looking at a wider view of life, not that I have figured it out. As far as the people here, they are like most people I know but with a much more enlightened understanding of what I have been through as a JW. I have a better view of what people feel and experience by being here. I don't mind people being themselves, if I don't like what they say I just ignore it or sometimes give them my take on the subject. I like the vast majority of the posters and they entertain me as well as give me support when I need it. For some people it will be offensive, others funny, others hateful, others healing but for most, all of the above.

    I like being here and thank Simon for providing the opportunity.

    Ken P.

  • minimus
    minimus

    The net is not real life. If persons said half the things they say to each other here, the police would be arresting tons for assault and battery. We have to take the net not SO seriously or we will always be offended, hurt or angry---and that's not a good thing! When a person gets to feeling this or any other place is a bit much, it's easy to turn off the computer and get an ice cream.

  • Inquiry
    Inquiry

    (((((Swan)))))

    I too am right now dealing with someone who posed as someone else, who I know personally, and have a bit of a rocky past with, and started to harass me through this person's email account. I was in the process of reporting it when I found out who it actually was. And now am in the process of reporting that individual. It's pretty serious and will undoubtedly have repurcussions for the individual who did the harassing. On a personal note, it was annoying, angering and depressing. It's a very rare occurence for me, but it has happened to me before. I've been online for a llllooooonnnngggg time (Don't worry Simon, Mods, it has nothing to do with this board.) These abuses take our time, emotional energy and can be very hurtful... no question about that... but, IMO it doesn't diminish the value of the medium... or participation in it.

    The benefits, such as support, being in a community with others that have like experiences, watching people grow and heal (tremendous value to me personally) and the possibility of establishing some incredibly great friendships, do IMO far outweigh the negativities. It's really an individual thing, but we have to decide how how much we are willing to emotionally invest in the board. I don't think the board replaces real relationships, though we can develop some very real, very wonderful relationships on it. When I was new to the online community, I was constantly on it...I wanted to learn more about it, especially when I first left the borg, there wasn't much else for me in the real world, and frankly I craved understanding and friendship. I had to find a balance. I tended to take topics and chats quite seriously. Personally even.... but I learned that for the most part, a generality exists between us. It doesn't mean things can't get offensive, yes they can. I agree, sometimes certain topics can be a total downer, and it's depressing to see that some archaic mindsets still exist. But there are vast volumes of incredibly great posts! I choose to frequent this environment because of those posts. There are some brilliant minds, some wonderful warm cuddly fuzzies, some invigorating humourists (love the humour), and some very solid people on the board. I get so much from them. There are also those that are not... and while they can be tedious, annoying, downright rude and negative, they also provide, in a once removed kind of setting, a lesson in coping with them. As in the real world, there is a wide cross section of people participating here, I like to look at it as an opportunity. Not to mention, posters here are very good at delivering the other side of the story too.... like the recent issue referred to.... Lady Lee and others, stepped up, and quite astutely presented information that IMO effectively countered the negative. Also the mods worked to protect the environment here. That activity comforts me personally very much.

    So, though it's not always great, it is for the most part terrrific! Exercise that wisdom that many posters here have come to realize you have Swan. Protect that tender heart of yours, but also get the benefit. It would be sad to lose you.

    On the issue of the negativity about gay lifestyles that has gone one here, it's my hope, that someone who is gay, and has a history of balanced posting, and understands the issues quite well, would step forward and participate as a moderator here, so that those of us who are not gay can understand more clearly the issues pertaining to the homosexual individual and community. I think in that particular arena, though most of us seem to be accepting and loving, that only someone who is gay can truly understand the impact certain statements make on the individual and community at large.

    A big squidgy hug for you (((((((((Swan))))))))

    Inq

  • nilfun
    nilfun

    I try to take the best (to heart) and leave the rest.

    I don't always agree with everything said/done here, but that doesn't stop me from finding something good about every person here.

    Messed-up stuff said and done here? If it is intolerable then call 'em on it, but also remember that the folks who post here are only too human.

  • SixofNine
    SixofNine

    Part of getting out of depression is deciding to handle thoughts and feelings appropriately. Assigning thoughts and feelings and especially others' opinions, a reasonable level of magnitude.

    What that means in terms of the online experience on discussion boards, is that you have to toughen up. Sounds trite I know, but you won't find any way around this. It may not be in your ability right now, and if so, you should not put yourself in that situation. It may be totally within your ability to just change the way you look at things said. Throw a little jane-you-ignorant-slut into your attitude. Use humor to ease the bumps in your journey.

  • teenyuck
    teenyuck

    I have suggested *someone* get therapy....from a licensed professional. I actually believe many people on the board, including myself, could benefit greatly from this. I need to understand some things....

    I know cost is an issue. I just don't think this is mentioned enough when someone looks for *advice*, whether it be depression to suicidal thoughts to overcoming growing up in a cult and how that impacts our daily lives. Reading people's experiences has been interesting....however, for me, it has brought back many memories that I had forgotten. Perhaps forgetting was good. I just don't know now. Looking back, I almost wish I had not found this board.

    I am sorry if suggesting therapy seems harsh. I really think sitting down with a professional will do me more good than baring my soul here....I just have to find a way to pay for it.

  • happyout
    happyout

    Tammy,

    Big hug to you. It's hard to deal with some of the hurtful things that are sometimes said on this forum, but it's really the exact same thing as real life. I have been here less than a year, but already, I know to stay away from certain threads. Just like I don't converse beyond necessary with certain people at my job, I don't read threads on particular subjects, or even threads started by certain posters. It's fine, we all get to make those choices. I agree with what a few others have said, if you need a break, please take it. I really hope you don't stay away forever, I enjoy your viewpoint, and feel you sometimes bring a calming influence to a volatile situation.

    Happyout (feel free to PM me if you ever want to chat)

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