I need advice quick...and a hug. (page 5)

seven006

Dean,

Sorry you are having to go through this. even though it is tough, it's not the end of the world, It's just the bottom part of the roller coaster. Kids are smart, they can see how you are acting and also see how your wife is acting. I told my kids at a young age to try and think for themselves about what they see and someday they will figure it out. Having your wife say one thing and you another is confusing. But, as they say, actions speak louder than words.

I know this won't take away any of the pain, but "time" and being able to deal with life during that "time" will give you the results that are best. Trust your kid's thinking as much as you do yours. Your wife will do as she sees fit. Who knows, maybe someday she will get a clue. My ex-wife did.

Hang in there pal, If there is anything I can help with, just let me know.

Dave

Stacy Smith

Go visit a lawyer. If not you may find yourself served with a restraining order which prevents you from coming home, except for the 15 minutes you'll be allowed to go there to remove personal items. Then you'll find a court date with temporary support plans.

Go visit a lawyer.

avishai

Call the cops on her for abuse. Before she does on you. Leave her with the kids? NO F-ING WAY!!!!!! She's the one with the problem, not you. Don't be passive, tell her she needs to be submissive to your headship, you are the head of the house, not her. (By the way, these are'nt tactics I'd notmally condone, it's bs dub doctrine, but she's using it to abuse) Tell her she has to listen to you, I know you have a laid back attitude, that's great for dealing with your kids, religious freedom, etc. Stop tlaking "very calmly". Tell her where the bear is going to shit in the woods from now on, tell her YOU have records & tapes, that all "secular" authorities don't care a whit about her cult, & generally side with the non- jw. Whe is programmed. Use it. Otherwise, she'll walk all over you. Quote the bible. So many laid back non-jw dads are caught off guard & too passive. Reasoning won't work with a psycho.

jgnat

DMouse, you have reacted sensibly in every way. Lots of good advice here. Don't worry, she won't get your kids. At their age, they get to chose. And she is making it very easy for them to know where their safety net is.

If you and your wife get anywhere near being able to talk about what is making her so angry, you can talk about what she is afraid of losing, and what her best strategy is to gain it back (the hearts of her kids).

Xandria

I agree with a majority of advice here too. DOCUMENT EVERYTHING!!!!! and keep it in a safe place. Take all your important stuff and put it in a safety deposit box. NEVER know what she will do in the face of all this. It is apparent her thinking is unstable and she can become violent if she went off on her own daughter like this.

Shoshanna's advice about contacting Lawyers in your area is correct. An hang on.. for the ride. I hope the best for you.

X.

LittleToe

Just read this, Dean - sorry to hear it dude
If you want to call, I'm home at the moment.
Alternatively PM your number and I'll call you.

sens

((((DMouse))))

Im Sorry For What Your Going Thru

3 Sens 4

Elsewhere

Record record record every word she or any other JW says to you. You will be thankful you did and kick yourself if you don't.

Elsewhere

Here ya go... $99 and it will record 18 hours of loving JW conversation.

http://www.thinkgeek.com/gadgets/electronic/5ec3/

dmouse

To all those that have replied and pm'd me:

You guys rock.

Managed to get a few minutes with my daughter Charlotte, apparently my wife is having tomorrow off work to consult with some bigshot local JW lawyer.

Your collective advice to consult my own legal counsel seems most appropriate. Only trouble is as a teacher I've got 25 kids relying on me to turn up tomorrow; shit. Not only that but the school has got a big government inspection (OFSTED) in three weeks time and we are working all the hours God sends to get stuff sorted. This has come at a REALLY bad time, talk about stress!

Thanks to all your advice I'm feeling calmer and more collected. Something funny happened this afternoon...a police officer called just at the time when I didn't know where my kids were. I thought the worst, but he was just making routine enquiries about a burglary a few doors down.

Geez, it was my little girl's 14th birthday today. What a crap birthday she's had. Seems that in her own mind that she has decided that 14 is old enough to make her own decisions. I fully support her right to make her own spiritual way in life, shame her mum doesn't agree with that.

Again, thanks for all the love and support shown here, you folks are really special.

Dean

I need advice quick...and a hug.

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