PIMO Elder with a Dilemma

xjwsrock

Hi

I haven’t been on here in awhile and this is my second user name because I was busted by my pimi wife on the first one.

I have been basically awake since 2013. I have a super dub wife that I love and don’t want to lose and my sick mom in the hall that is a true believer. Stupid religion has gotten between my wife and I (of course). My eyes well up as I type this. She caught me on “apostate sites” back in 2015 and things haven’t been the same since. Intimacy down - suspicion up. Good times.

I completely know that this religion is a fraud being used to exploit the brainwashed and the vulnerable for financial gain and prob the sick thrills of the psychopaths that run the thing.

I have remained an elder to keep up appearances while I hint-drop and critical-thinking-tutor my wife. She has actually made progress but damn is it slow. I also think she hesitates to tell me her doubts because she fears I will pounce on them lol.

On to my current problem...

A couple of elders have ambushed me on the body bringing up in an elders meeting - in my absence mind you - that I am missing too many meetings and field service and publishers are complaining. Basically questioning my qualifications.

Backstory- These brothers broke protocol and went to the CO behind the COBE’s back (and mine) to run me down and try to turn the CO against me. (The CO has remained relatively neutral to this point). They did not put anything on any meeting agenda and attacked me - again while I was absent - in an elders meeting (convened for another purpose) a few weeks after the CO visit.

So ... as a result these two brothers got assigned to meet with me. I suppose they plan to counsel me to begin a paper trail to remove me or bring me in line to their Uber Dub self-righteous standards.

My thoughts- I actually want to step down. Hell I would’ve been free of the whole damn thing years ago if it weren’t for my wife. Anyway, part of me wants to dress these clowns down in their little meeting. Part of me wants to step down and bypass it all.

Just so you know I could murder them on “arrangement” and pummel their weak misguided emotionally immature backstabbing asses with ease. Because of being awake I am a million miles ahead of these guys in actual real world thinking ability.

They are out of line and I have the COBE’s and at least one other elder’s backing on that.

I actually think my wife can handle me stepping down at this point. She is aware of the ambush and doesn’t agree with it.

I am just torn. Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks.

hoser

Have a letter of resignation ready to hand them. Don’t deal with the bullshit and psychological/verbal abuse of them having a meeting with you to review your qualifications.

ToesUp

I agree....step down. If your wife see's it, this will make it easy. Look at all the free time that you will have not being an Elder. You can spend more time "working" on your wife. Move slow, so as to not scare her. It takes time. These Elders are clowns who need some sort of authority in life. Let them enjoy the cult that they are a part of. If they want to do all the work in the Congregation, let them. You will be freed up. lol Plus, you won't have to play their petty little games anymore.

Keep us posted.

HoodwinkedToo

Do you think you could use this opportunity in a way that would backfire on them? If they are breaking protokol and overreaching, could you meet with them, meekly let them do their thing, and only then step down. In your resignation letter (so that it goes permanently on record) you could explain that their lack of christian love leading to their ABUSE of "theocratic arrangement" is the real reason for your resignation. If it was me, I would be very tempted to take those ar*****les down with me. If they intend to question your qualification as an elder, could you perhaps use this opportunity to reveal that in fact they are wolfs in sheep skin? I would even try to record the meeting. I think you have a precious opportunity to gain your freedom looking like a victim, while they are risking that they end up looking really bad not only in the eyes of the congregation but also your COBE and CO, with a bit of luck they could even end up blacklisted. From my experience, they wouldn't like that at all.

Incognito

Consider using the other elders unloving actions to your advantage.

JWs are frequently counseled to watch their actions so as to not stumble others, but those goons did not consider that you could be stumbled by what they did. You could state you are stumbled as you do not consider that type of behaviour as being appropriate for Shepards of God's flock. Since as an elder, it seems you are expected to act similarly, then you cannot in good conscience have any further part of that, prompting a prime opportunity to resign and step back.

This situation may also provide opportunity to recover your relationship with your wife. You could claim that you recognized this type of behavior from the other elders has been ongoing for some time to other brothers. As it bothered you, you were prompted to do further research to see how common this is in other congregations. Following search links lead to the 'oppostate' sites she had seen you visiting previously.

Lets Think

As an long time elder and COBE, (ex of course now pomo) I strongly recommend resigning on your terms. Staying pimo will eat you up especially as an elder. This can be an excuse, pressure from all of this being mishandled. Then use the extra time to spend with your wife and family. At first it can be tough, but then comes the awesome freedom of not having to be "an example" doing things on your terms. Anyway my 2 cents.

Pete Zahut

I might tend to let things get really ugly so these guys expose what they’re really like and open your wife’s eyes.

Is there a way to drag this out without making yourself look like the problem?

Maybe discuss with her the reasonable tack you will take when you meet with them. Then when you get there let them have it with both barrels so they have no choice but to throw the book at you.

Don’t do or say anything apostate but flip this thing around so you are seen as the victim that you really are. Perhaps your wife will be incensed and take your side.

joey jojo

I have been having conversations with still in friends who also happen to be elders.

At first it was ok, they gave a pretence of giving me a listening ear but as my questions got too hard they started going into robotic Borg mode.

This period was the period when they would just link articles from JW org and expect it to magically answer all of my questions and concerns. As an elder, maybe you have dealt with people in your cong in a similar manner.

After going around in circles with my friends, it all comes down to whether you believe in the gb. It doesn't matter how logical and reasonable your questions are. The conversation will usually devolve to that critical point.

What I have learned is that once you have laid your cards on the table, that's it. They can treat you how they see fit, they can shun you, or run you down to others. You have given them power over you, to an extent.

It all depends on whether you plan to keep any of your current friends because if you are hoping things remain pretty much the same, it is probably better to just fade.

On the other hand, if you couldn't give a rats a$$, then go out in a blaze of glory. 😎

smiddy3

I have had personal experience of Elders in a congregation that were not handling a situation concerning a brother who had done wrong { and in my opinion deserved to be DF } and they were shunning their duty to handle the JC.

I know it`s a little complicated but they were the Cong.that was supposed to deal with the situation.

During this time I was no longer a MS and I challenged this body of Elders to go by the book and deal with this brother as he was now under their jurisdiction so to speak.

I then threatened to name each one of them personally and send a letter to what was then brooklyn H.Q.making a formal complaint against them for not following procedure .

I also informed them I would be sending the same letter of complaint against them to the Australian branch naming them.

And the result ? To my surprise they had the JC and only reprimanded him with a probationary period and not DF him .

This despite the fact he was convicted of a crime and was currently in goal.

Go figure.

The bottom line ?

Threaten to expose/complain about them to the G.B. at HQ , and the local branch Office naming them and it works wonders .

This was the last straw for me ,the straw that broke the camels back and I left in early 1993 .

stan livedeath

Dont meet with them .what they gonna do ? Df you ?

PIMO Elder with a Dilemma

Share this