PIMO Elder with a Dilemma (page 2)

stan livedeath

Sounds to me like your wife is further advanced than you think. She caught you watching ~~porn~~ apostate sites 4 years ago...yet she's still with you. And she hasn't shut up shop completely. I think she wants you to take the lead. In all matters. Go for it bro.

fulano

I would advice you to hand over your letter of resignation. Or send it to them by mail. I did so in 2001 when my wife was visiting family far away. It felt very good, I felt free . Your wife will get over it.

The Fall Guy

My best friend in a previous congregation was an elder on the Service Committe and he allowed himself to get "pressured" into resigning and walk away by other elders. (prompted by their jealousy - nothing more)

Either simply resign and comply meekly with the wolves' wishes, or hang around just long enough to expose their bitterness and gang mentality - if not to the sheep & your wife, at least to them!

Scumbags shouldn't get away Scot-free. Whatever choice fits best for you, I wish you well.

Slidin Fast

There is some good advice here. If you want to fight, it's a fairly dangerous strategy, to what end? If you win, you would still be an elder. The whole thing may be waking to your wife as you say. You could then resign on your own terms and possibly play the famous "stumbled" card.

If you just let events take their course you will be in the enviable position of being off the tread mill.

I think your wife is the biggest factor in this, sometimes "winning her over without a word" works. She will see the machinations, observe the positive effects of you being relieved of the burden and possibly be helped along the way.

Good luck with it all. We all care on here I'm sure. SF

dozy

As an ex-elder myself , I know what you are going through.

My last couple of years as an elder when I was PIMO were painful - my ministry dropped virtually to zero , I was missing every meeting I possibly could , my public talk that I would give list dropped from 20 to about half a dozen that I felt comfortable to give. It is a very difficult transition & I was probably lucky that only one elder ( one of the uber self righteous JW types ) attacked me in elders meetings - the rest cut me some slack ( maybe because a few of them were slackers as well ). Eventually I just resigned - the whole situation was impossible to manage.

You are better just resigning as an elder on your own terms rather than being kicked out which will happen eventually - as an elder , you are expected to "take the lead" and it is very difficult to go through the motions when you know it is all false. Just my 2C,

Good luck with the marriage - once a wife loses intimacy , it is very difficult for you to rebuild that. Lots of marriages don't survive this process.

iwantoutnow

DUDE TAKE THIS ADVANTAGE YOU HAVE AND STEP DOWN!

I was in a pretty similar position as you.

This is a great way to Play the STUMBLED CARD!!!!

TAKE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

tiki

I would say don't waste another minute of your life. Step down, walk away...get yourself free.

Doubting Bro

I guess I'm of the mindset that it's a game and I wouldn't want those guys to win. I'd hammer them on arrangement then maybe a month later, step down and cite their behavior as stumbling you. Although, that would probably create more drama than you need. This really is the perfect time to let them remove you if your wife sees their unchristian tactics.

Ding

How are you going to respond if they ask you if your decreased activity is because you're having doubts about the borg?

Better have a contingency plan for that...

Giordano

There is a lot of good advice presented here re your thoughts and questions.

Now for some tough love.

It's time for you to step away. A lot of this has to do with the ego of being an Elder. It's nonsense. An Elder does more harm then good. Been there.

It's a crap religion that has never made any sense....it's message was and still is 'many living now........ may never die". Nonsense...... even Jesus died. We all die....live with it. Go figure how that message took hold....it's just about wanting. People dying from the flu......... World War One....bad medicine. Death walked with us every day. The WT crafted their message. They offered hope...... except they could never deliver. Your in a religion that has failed. And as an Elder you continue to fail........ big time..... You have been painted into a corner. Believe or leave! It is a waste of your time....you can do better.

It's time to walk away. Spend those twenty to thirty hours each week doing something for yourself, your family and community. Yes..... you live in a community....... how about thinking about those folks?

You've let the pedophiles loose and didn't say a word. Google the JW Pedophile problem.

You have exposed your neighborhood to JW pedophiles because of the two witness rule.They can go door to door with a keen eye for families with children.

You have compounded that problem by not standing up to the laws that bind your community. Pedophiles are not sinners they are criminals!!

At this point in your life you've been a religious shyster as I and everyone on this forum was........we may have been True Believers..... at least for a time. But by doing so we distanced ourselves from our family and communities etc.

Remember your community extends well past your pathetic KH and your life long friends....... the JW's who are tribal will shun you on a dime.

It's time to fade away and stop sucking at the tit of the Society. There is no nourishment in the Kingdom Hall......... its just a dry well. No good can come from it.

It's time for you to live and learn!

PIMO Elder with a Dilemma

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