PIMO Elder with a Dilemma (page 3)

road to nowhere

Age, neglected wife, mental stress; physical health all reasons to step down without having to say those 8 are nothing but figure head clowns

You probably find yourself trying to keep others in when you really think they should run

FedUpJW

Consider using the other elders unloving actions to your advantage.

Reminds me of something from my childhood. One of the first times I was tasked with milking the cows. We had a cow that always would lean on you as you tried to milk her. I pushed back on her trying to get her to move over. The harder I pushed, the harder she leaned. After watching for a time my father said, "Son, I will show you how to get her to mover over." He stepped beside me and began to PULL her towards us. The harder he pulled, the more she resisted, and at the right time he suddenly pushed, and off balance she took two steps away from us.

I have used that psychological tactic many times to my advantage. In front of others I will seemingly "pull" them towards me using either their exact words or slight variations of them. Of course they naturally resist as they cannot allow themselves to agree with me, and then at the exact right time I suddenly "push" by using MY words to make my point. Of course if they disagree at that time it shows them up for doing or saying something hypocritical.

StephaneLaliberte

I believe you are in a very unique and privileged situation. Obviously, it is hard, very hard to be such an active part of an organization in which you no longer believe, but you have to realize that you have a very unique opportunity here. You have the opportunity to play the game and do some real internal investigation. You can secretly record elder’s meetings, Watchtower trainings, access elder materials, record conversations with Circuit overseers, etc. You can collect all this information and once you are out (a year or more?) you will have all this information to share to the world.

You may want to check the laws where you are, but I can tell you that in Canada, you are allowed to record conversations of which you are a part of. So, no legal worries there.

Imagine, having recordings of things like:

1) We can lie about this or that; spiritual warfare.
2) I’d like to live in this house at Armageddon
3) We don’t tell this to people until they are baptized
4) Elders counselling/threatening someone who isn’t respecting the disfellowshipping arrangement
5) Deliberate destruction of proof pertaining to a crime
6) Homophobic comments
7) Political comments (likely against trump)
8) Misogynistic comments
9) Definitive numbers on sources of income for the JWs. Such as how donations were used in a convention.

You could write a book and call it: JW: Undercover! You’d be living my dream!!

You need play the game to the maximum and become even more “spiritual”. It should be fairly easy, provided that you allow yourself to lie.For instance, you can make up fake hours by reporting a lot of casual witnessing. These people are eagerly waiting to destroy your life for doubting what they say. There is no moral obligations to tell the truth to such evil doers. You can do a lot, a lot of damage and expose them by collecting information from the inside. Record everyone. Now a days, using your phone to do that is incredibly easy.

Only exception though: If you have young kids, quit now before it is too late. Otherwise, you may wake up one day and you will have lost your kids. That's the only reason I am not doing what I suggest to you above.

Sanchy

I'm sorry you are going through this. Your situation reminds me of mine.

When I stepped down as elder, I just handed them a letter that said due to personal reasons, I no longer wished to serve in a position which I believed I was no longer qualified to fulfill.

Of course they then set up a meeting with two elders to question me, where I opened up about the fact that I had some doubts regarding some of the claims the religion made, but I mentioned nothing specific. I said I didn't wish to quit being a JW, but that my conscience no longer allowed me to preach something from the platform which I wasn't totally sure of myself since it made me feel hypocritical.

careful

I fail to see WHY you want to remain an elder. You don't believe it anymore, right? Some of your duties likely will cause you to have to do things that violate what you now believe. Does staying appointed serve some purpose in your life (like making your wife happy)? Why not just step down and take a well needed breather? Let the stupid fellow elders have their silly way. Does "putting them in their place" really matter now?

iwasblind

Hey Mate

Here is a different point of view - but I had the good fortune of my wife waking me up so I cannot speak from experience. But I was an elder of 13 years before I faded.

If you can emotionally handle it meet with them. Use this situation to expose how nasty these bastards are by letting them mistreat you - of course stand up for yourself though. This may get your wife thinking. You sound like a really good guy and if she sees the injustice she just might start seeing things for what they are.

On another point - a great way to get your wife thinking is to watch documentaries about other faiths - there is a good one about people escaping the Exclusive Brethren and another one about the Mormons. Of course witnesses love a good expose of another faith but if she watches it she will see they have the same structure as the witnesses and could help her start to think.

Hope this helps mate. I was PIMO for 3 years as an elder and it was torture so I salute you my friend and applaud you for sticking by your wife too. Feel free to PM me anytime you need support

nowwhat?

Turn this into a win. Step down because you were stumbled by those elders. Then they will catch hell from the c.o. and you will add to their workload by taking on your responsibilities. Which should in turn stress them out!

User99

I would like to share something that has worked for me in similar situations.

Two words: FOR NOW

That may be enough to get others to consider your situation as possibly temporary. And that may be enough to postpone the inevitable questions indefinitely.

”I have a personal situation that makes fulfilling my current elder responsibilities very difficult and stressful. I need to step down FOR NOW.”

Leave it open ended. You may know that you don’t plan to return to being an elder, but you don’t have to share that information with anyone.

Butterfly607

As the wife of a former elder, we had kids while he served, I was relieved when he stepped down. Elders have zero quality time to spend with their wives. Everything is congregation first, organization first. Leaves very little time for loving the one person who is supposed to be your partner. Stepping down could improve your relationship with her. Maybe then she’d be more open to your new ideas.

As for the rest of those elder scumbags, I think you said it best, trust yourself:

Because of being awake I am a million miles ahead of these guys in actual real world thinking ability.

Black Sheep

If you want to get your family out, you have to be the last one out, not the first. When you out yourself as Satan's Minion, you sacrifice your chances of having sane conversations with JW family members, so keep up your appearance of being a SuperDub while asking questions that are problematic without ever supplying answers or your own opinion.

PIMO Elder with a Dilemma

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