Former Elders, a Question (page 3)

StinkyPantz

Gumby-

What was your attitude like SP?

I was totally respectful!! These guy intimidated the hell outta me. I mostly just sat there. Cried a bit.

ozziepost

SP,

They've done you the biggest favor imaginable.Don't argue with them, for heaven's sake.You're now truly free. Why'd you want to argue with that?

Cheers, Ozzie

Freedom means not having to wear a tie.

StinkyPantz

Ozzie-

I'd never go back trust me, but I am not totally free. I may have physical freedom from the JWs, but my heart remains with the family that won't speak to me. Shouldn't I at least know why?

I think it's easier for someone to say "just let go" when they can walk away and leave nothing behind. (No disrespect intended, plus I'm needy).

Gumby-

Have I told you lately. . that I luv you?

gumby

Have I told you lately. . that I luv you?

Not in a couple of days

Gumby

There are no papers kept that you have any right to ... the file is destroyed after 5 years ... and only the S-77/S-79 card is left that states your status as Disfellowshipped ... you have no legal rights that I am aware of as this involves religion ... but maybe a lawyer might see it differently.

However, you should NOT have been Disfellowshipped ... there is no goround for doing so ... however, "attitude" can become a basis on which Elders on a JC might take action. IN one of my Justice Series I posted about, the Elders DF'd a sister for "lack of love" ... not a chargeable offense, but her 'attitude' is what they based their decision on.

It is not common for this to happen, but some Elders recall the old instruction that no offense requires disfellowshipping, but only attitudes. Some have extended this to DF for actions that are not described in the OR book or the Elder Flock book.

What they did was absolutely wrong. had you appealed the decision in writing within seven days, the Elders would have been obligated to find an Appeal Committee. If they upheld your DFing, you could appeal to the Society ... they will either review the decision themselves, or assign a Special Committee. While the Society or Special Committee might overturn the decision ... they will more often side with the original JC that DF'd you.

What happened to you was terribly wrong, even by JW standards ... and evidence of this is the Elder who bawled ... he knew damn well the decision was corrupt and against procedure ... he knew the other Elders were wrongly applying the 'attitude' rule ...

However, a decision to DF MUST be UNANIMOUS ... so even this excuse of an Elder who cried still went along with the other two in their decision. - Jim W.

willyloman

So I was screwed, huh? Would an appeal have worked?

This has been well answered already, a couple of times, and I almost hate to tell you this, but:

I was once put on an "appeal committee" by our CO and sent with two other elders to this small congo in the circuit where a young woman had been DF'd under these exact same circumstances.

We met with the original JC and the woman (one wants to say "girl" as she was only about 17) and her parents. Worldly 'boyfriend.' No evidence of sexual activity or foreplay. The whole issue appeared to be that her parents were mad at her for refusing to stop seeing this kid, so they went to the elders whereupon a JC was formed. The brothers didn't like the answers she gave, so they DF'd her. She appealed at the urging of her parents, who felt the punishment was a bit harsh for the circumstances.

Get this: Our appeal committee OVERTURNED these guys. Boy, were they p*ssed! Two of them forever gave us the cold shoulder whenever we met up at assemblies and such; only one, a very young elder, appeared to learn something and later approached privately and thanked us for what we did.

Years later, ironically, one of the other elders (on the original committee) was arrested for abusing his daughter.

minimus

The only thing the elders could've done is "mark" you. "Take notice" of you. But you're not SUPPOSED to get df'd for such a thing. Even if your "attitude" sucked, it's not a dfing offense. There supposed to "invite" you to a JC meeting. You're SUPPOSED to know why you're there. Methinks they (the majority) just didn't like you.

willyloman

Methinks they (the majority) just didn't like you.

I'm thinking perhaps the elders, some of them at least, didn't like themselves.

StinkyPantz

UPDATE!!

I called one of the elders (then only one that appeared to feel bad) and left a message for him to call me back. We'll see how it goes!

shotgun

Sounds like you got a raw deal stinky...wish they would do the same for me......or maybe not...I guess its better to control your own destiny.

Amazing said

However, a decision to DF MUST be UNANIMOUS ... so even this excuse of an Elder who cried still went along with the other two in their decision.

I was told by an elder just recently that it had to be majority not unanimous..unless he was speaking of reinstatement....

Former Elders, a Question

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