and if so, how did you get out, or how are you planning to get out.
thanks
wendy
have any of you been in/are in an abusive relationship
by orbison11 40 Replies latest jw friends
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Lady Lee
Yes I was - past tense to a JW elder
The only way out for me (at the time) was do do the unthinkable and have sex with someone else.
Once I told him I was DFed and got my divorce
Knowing what I know now I wouldn't do it that way.
I would call the nearest battered women's shelter and go there. I wouldn't give a flying F if he was free to marry so he wouldn't commit the same sin and place the blame on me.
I left with nothing. That I would do the same. The things meant nothing compared to my sanity and my life
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maybesbabies
(((wendy)))) I was married to a verbally and psycologically abusive man for a number of years. One day he turned violent on me, and I told a girlfriend of mine who was single. She helped me packed my bags while he was at work, and she and I got a place together. We actually ended up moving two states away, for her job and for my safety. Sometimes the best thing to do is to just up and go, if it is possible. Material things can be replaced, and new jobs can be found, but your life is too precious to allow some one to harm you. After I moved, I found a great job, went to school and got a career, and met a wonderful man. Don't be afraid to leave all the bad stuff behind and start over!!!!! It is wonderfully freeing!
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Brummie
My beautiful 27 yr old cousin was murdered by her husband just a few years ago. She was very scared to leave him incase he found and hurt her, but staying cost her her life.
Are you in an abusive relationship? I'm not scaremongering but this could happen to anyone, seek good advice and plan an escape, if you have the mental strength to stay in an abusive relationship, you also have the mental strength to leave. I think abusive religion uses the same mind control as an abusive partner, there is more to life even though they make you believe you cant live without them.
brummie
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suzi_creamcheez
Yes, left home with the first guy who showed an interest, an alcoholic drug addict and small time coke dealer.
I couldn't stand living at home. My mom was unstable, one foot in and one foot out of the Borg, and I never knew what way her mood would swing. My father was an abusive drunk and an "unbeliever." I couldn't wait to get away.
I had to be deceitful to leave a$$hole #1, i saved my money and slipped out "like a thief in the night."
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blondie
I was abused as a child...could not leave though...
Realized that my parents and siblings were verbally, emotionally, and spiritually abusive...cut them off
I was part of an abusive spiritual system...did leave that
Somehow though I married a loving, nonabusive man in spite of my past...
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tinkerbell82
i tend to attract the bad ones like a magnet.
how long have you been in the relationship?
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sens
yer, the first guy i was with was abusive...
i had faded out of the org at that time to be with him and etc...
he was fine at first, then after a while he showed his true colours...he had a drug problem although in the beginning he hid it pretty well...it got worse after he quit his job, because he knew he was getting an inheritance from his fathers estate so he was around the house all day at that point...
He would throw my clothes in the bin..when he had a 'tantrum' He would scream, and then say I had provoked him...and when i first started seeing him ...he showed no hint of even being like this..in fact he was the sweetest caring guy i had ever meet...but it didnt last.
I remember it being xmas and telling him I was pregnant...he hit the roof..and we had a fight...I had a miscarriage...
I left not long after, I just got on a train and headed to my mothers...I remember he called when i was on the train..''where are u etc''...because i had been gone for ages...I told him I was on the way to sydney and I wasnt coming back..
It took me 3 years to get away from him. He called my cell phone night and day...called my mothers all the time...he sent letters...threats...you name it..now its been 4 years and he has only just stopped.
It amazes me to this day that he had ways of finding my new phone numbers etc...
Anyone in this type of a relationship should just get out first chance they get...I know its hard but otherwise you will end up living in fear 24/7 the way I did or still do to a point...I even changed my last name so he couldnt have another way to find me..I spent all day everyday in the house only leaving to go to the kingdom hall...
I felt huge amounts of guilt because i thought i should try and stay and help him get over the problem with speed and etc...but only a professional can help someone like that...
My advice is just get out...go to a womans abuse centre if there is nowhere else to go...but just get out. I also got a restraining order, they are a help it will keep the guy away so you can make a clean break...I also changed all my bank accounts that i had with him...I had my name and etc taken off them and opened my own...I got a post office box because that way he wouldnt see a home address if he did manage to get any details...he had his sister call me not long ago..but i just ignored it...they usually dont give up that easy, so my advice is get out now. They might say they are sorry...and they wont do it again..but they do..and they only get worse.
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caligirl
My ex-wife was extremely abusive verbally and physically. The marriage only lasted until my son was 6. I have read many articles and books about the formative years being the first 5 years, so that is how long I lasted in the relationship.
She still is an evil wicked person, and still claims to be a wonderful Jehovahs Witness.
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sens
cali...it amazes me that they never see the problem they have