{{{{sens}}}}
have any of you been in/are in an abusive relationship
by orbison11 40 Replies latest jw friends
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Skanky
"The problem is all inside your head she said to me, the answer is easy if you take it logically; I would like to help you in your struggle to be free there must be fifty ways to leave your lover. Just drop off keys Windy and make your self free...." Skanky
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sens
@ skanky
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arrowstar
(((sens)))
My first abused me..both physically and verbally. I suffered a miscarriage from a beating. I got to where I couldn't stand the sight of a dozen roses because it was just empty promises "I won't do it again. But, Baby, you know you shouldn't do that...I can't help it when you do things like that." I began to believe his lies. That somehow this was all my fault. When I went into the relationship, there was no sign of his being abusive. It was all romance. The night after we got home from the honeymoon was the first time he struck me. I pack what I had just unpack and was going to my Mother's house till he "cooled down". That only made it worse..."You B***H! You're not leaving here...EVER!" And so it began...
I thought that love could cure everything that was wrong. If I just loved him more...none of this would be happening. I was wrong...could have been dead wrong. Finally, something snapped in me. He had me in the kitchen against the wall with his forearm across my neck choking me. My head was forced up and all I could see was the ceiling and the top of the refridgerator. On the top of the fridge was a coffee mug tree that had four very heavy stoneware mugs. Huge things. I don't know what came over me...but I thought .."if I'm going...you're comin' with me you M*****#####R!!" Somehow I was able to grab a mug off that tree and bring it down HARD on his head. He pulled away...I shoved him away...I grabbed a kitchen knife...and went after him. I was driven to madness. For a brief moment, I was mad...crazy...looney bin ...mad. I came back from the brink...and realized I cannot do this anymore.
It was a slow and long process to get out. All the while, I kept hoping that he would change. That things would be better. They didn't change. They didn't get better. I had to hide money because he would steal money from my wallet. I got up the money for a cheap lawyer. I had the sheriff serve him with the papers. I wanted nothing but my name back. Take the car...take it all. I'll take the debt and my name.
You know...when we stood before the judge...I still cried when he said this marriage is dissolved.
Looking back..as hard as that is...I wouldn't change a thing. I will never let anyone ever...ever....do that to me...or anyone I care about ever again. I am stronger because of it. There are scars on my body...they healed. The scars on my heart...healed. The occasional "flashback" ..well...you get through it. It's been 20 years since he and I were wed. He's dead now. Murdered. Shot at point blank range. Live by the sword...die by the sword....some would say.
I prefer to think of it as karma...
Lisa
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sens
(((((Lisa)))))
Just talking to you in chat and on IM i thought you are a great, fun ,intelligent person...knowing now you came thru all that you really are a amazing person...your incredibly strong
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tinkerbell82
orbison - if there is a WEAVE in your area, you can begin by contacting them, theyre incredibly helpful and nice people
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Gopher
Yes. My first marriage was to a JW, but it wasn't abusive because of that.
It was the emotional badgering, the constant finger-pointing. The false accusations. The calls to my old friends and relatives trying to win their sympathy against me.
Taking, taking, taking and rarely giving until I was financially and emotionally drained.
I became a shell of my former self and became a wreck physically. I tried to stay together for the sake of our only child, but that was a mistake.
She took the steps to push me out of the house. Why did I wait so long through such an ordeal of a relationship? Part of it was that I was raised JW, and thought "waiting on Jehovah" would always work, and that somehow things would work out for me. Well they did, but only after I moved out and found myself again.
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shera
Yes,I have.(he wasn't a JW)
He was a very,nice guy when we first started to date and after it seemed to him that he had me.His true colors started to show.A miserable seriously crazy man who thought I was having sex with everyman on the street when number 4 beer was finished.I was seriously ploting his death and I realized I wasn't going to go to jail for a pathic excuse for a human being.So,I kicked him out and I packed my belongings and had to move out within one day.I had to hide from him because he would have made my life a living hell. I was with him for a yr and a half,I would kick him out and he would call me all hours of the nite to see if I had other men there.If I wouldn't let him he would threaten to drive the car threw the home and the sick thing he would have....after we were together for awhile he would tell me the things he did to his x- and her family.I was like oohhh my what did I get myself into??? You think you know someone....
I used to fist fight with this man...I have had coffe tables thrown at my head because I told him to shut his mouth when he called my then 8 yr old daughter a bitch.Never again will I have a man treat me in a way I don't like.In some ways this has made me a biatch..but oh well.Most of the time I'm great....
Heather
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shera
To all you strong women.
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arrowstar
(sens)) -
Thank you dear. That's very kind of you to say.
((Heather)) -
Here's to you...
And to ALL the strong and beautiful women here....
Never again...Break the Silence
Lisa