Any step-parents here??

Out At 22

Hey everyone. I was wondering if there are any fellow step-parents or soon-to-be step parents around? I am a soon-to be stepmom to FOUR girls (14,11,6,4). Crazy I know! Oh ya, I have no bio kids of my own.

:)

concerned mama

Hi Out at 22,

I'm not a step Mom, but I have had 2 of them. I think that at the best of times, it can be both a joy and a difficult relationship. Hmm, tips, remember that their Dad was their Dad before you came on the scene, and in marrying him, you get a package deal. Let the kids have some time alone with their Dad. Your aren't their Mom, but that doesn't mean you can't find a special place in their lives.

I had the best relationship with the step Mom who hadn't had kids herself. She is a great person, but......doesn't know how to react like a Mom or act like a Mom, but kind of wants that role. Hard to explain. I 'm saddened by the fact that she has grown away from us and my children since my Dad passed away 10 years ago. My kids thought of her as Grandma and miss her.

Gopher

I've been a step-parent in both my first and current marriages. Both times, I had 2 stepchildren.

I agree with everything concerned mama says about remembering and appreciating the special place in their life that their biological parent has. Sometimes when the relationships are new, it is hard to know when to speak or act, and when to hold back. It's always best to err on the side of caution, and let the bio parent handle the tough situations.

4 step kids? Wow. And one already a teenager? Double wow.

Jade

Hi out,

Wow, four girls, that's an instant family for you. I am a stepmom to two boys and I have one of my own. Being a step parent certainly has its challenges but it can also have many rewards as well. The first year was pretty hard trying to mesh two different sets of rules and child rearing but over the years we have found a good common ground. The biggest help will be if the ex wants it to be a good relationship as well and will work with you and your soon to be husband. If that relationship works, then the kids won't feel any loyalty issues and let the relationship blossom. I realy hope that is your case and it will be an easy transition.

PM me if you need to talk

Good luck!!!!

teejay

Yep. This is my second marriage and I was/am a step-dad in both.

calamityjane

Your going to be a step-mom to four girls. OMG Good Luck. Girls are a hormonally challenging bunch. If you need any help or advice you'll find it here.

When xjw_b12 and I got married I had a five year old daughter from my first marriage. Xjw adopted her within the first five months of our marriage. Treated her like his own and proved that when our daughter and son came a little later in our marriage. While she was growing up we did go through a lot of the usual problems and yes she would through it up in our face the usual "he's not my real dad". But now she is 24, living away from home, working at a career she loves and when the going gets tough for her she calls xjw for the over the phone line daddy hug, and will say to him "I love you dad." That makes it all worth while.

take care.

love

cj

xjw_b12

Outat22.

How do you feel, getting into a relationship, with an obviously older guy (lucky sob), whose 2 oldest daughters could be your younger sisters ?

tinkerbell82

when i was 12 mom married my stepdad who was 21 at the time, and there are four of us kids...at twelve i was the oldest, and the youngest was 4. it's a BIG responsibility. good luck.

Out At 22

I've been in the step-family situation for over 2 yrs now. It's going we all things considered. I know all about the responsibilty that's for sure. We have the girls full-time right now.

As far as his oldest being 14 and me being 25 doesn't phase me one bit. Age doesn't bother me. It would if it was a big difference but 9 yrs doesn't bug me. Everybody guesses him at middle/late 20's, not 34. Not surprised as he works out 5 days/wk and has a six pack. Lucky guy, erm luck ME!! We have alot in common and get along wonderfully.

I love him to pieces!!

justkelliesince1988

I too am a step-parent in this my second marriage. My situation is different than most as my step-daughters bio mother, doesn't have anything to do with her. I've been with my husband 2 years now, and my step calls me Mommie, almost from the very beginning when he and I first started dating. I wasn't comfortable with it at first and neither were my two daughters, but once I saw that the relationship was going to work out and once my two settled into everything, they've all accepted each other like they've been together as sisters, their whole lives...

Together, my husband and I are raising three daughters, so I defintely take my hat off to you. I never really thought that I wanted to take on someone elses kids. But all in all, it's worked out fine for us. I think the best thought I can offer to you, especially with the oldest one is not to try to be "the mom." Just let them all know, by your actions, that you are there as their dads wife and in that, as they see your love and devotion to each other, they'll be able to develop trust for you. God be with you all

Any step-parents here??

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