They're coming!

by Ariell 26 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Stacy Smith

  I think Mulan gave you some great advice. Pretending sucks, but you do risk being shunned by family down the road. If I were in your shoes I'd probably play the game. Listen to their BS, thank them for their help but talk about schoolwork you are having trouble with (lying is good) and of course your mental depression.

  Never admit to not believing, that's DFing alone in some congregations. Just smile the empty jw smile and tune them out. They'll leave eventually. Then while they are driving away, givem the finger.
• 

  cyberguy

  Hey Ariell!

  If it's just a brief-call, then just thank them for coming, let them share some "comforting message" (hehe) and then be on their merry-way! You sound like you don’t want to be DF’d or DA’d. So, don’t offer anything that can be used against you! You’re not under any obligation to answer any questions. Questions they may ask that you don’t want to answer, just say that you’re indisposed to give an answer at this time.

  Just my 2-cents! Take care!
• 

  noidea

  When the elders wanted to meet with me I would make an excuse and every couple of weeks it was the same thing they would try and reschedule a call. One called and tried to set a meeting up and I told him I had a gynecologist appointment and he never called back.
• 

  ignorance is strength

  Its a big dilemma and what I would suggest is to just think... spend hours, days, or weeks thinking about what would be the best possilbe route to take and explore all of the possible routes.
• 

  gumby

  Shamus,

  Tell them no thanks, and bye bye. No sheperding calls, I am too busy for this bullshit, thank you, god bless, f--- off, go away, bye bye, don't let the door hit your ass on the way out.... don't call me, I'll call you, don't show up at my door, I'm just leaving, oh, thanks for calling, but i'm on the other line, can I call you right back? Bla bla bla bla bla,

  Don't play by their stupid rules. Don't let them into your house.

  LMAO.......good advise!

  This may be the simplest and the easiest, with far less "side effects".

  Gumby
• 

  Ariell

  Don't play by their stupid rules. Don't let them into your house.

  That's the problem. It's not my house. I guess I could tell my Mom to tell them I'm not up for a visit, but only God knows how that will turn out. It's like these people think they can do whatever they want just because they're elders. They don't even ask if they can come over. They just do it like they're on the god damn police force or something. My mom will sit in on the visit. She expects me to talk to them about my doubts and not just tell them I'm depressed and need time. So I'm not too sure pretending would work in my case. I know lying would make my life easier, but I'm not sure I want easy. I'm at the end of my rope-fed up with it all. I just want to be rid of the whole thing. Why is that wrong?
• 

  Mulan

  You really need to be up front with your Mom and tell her this meeting is not going to turn out as she hopes it will, and that you will likely be disfellowshipped afterwards. She is no doubt hoping they will turn you around. If she knows for sure that will never happen, she can call them off.

  If you are tired of pretending, there is no problem. Let it be. They will do what they will do. We are tired of pretending too, but so far we haven't had anymore visits either.
• 

  Nosferatu

  Damn, I feel bad for you. What a shit situation to be in. If you're sure that your immediate family will still communicate with you, then tell them to kick you out. If you still fear being shunned, you may want to drag this out as long as possible until you're in college. Be out of the house the day the elders come to shephard you. Say that you're friend's dog died and the funeral is on Saturday.

  You need to figure out exactly how your decision is going to affect your immediate situation. You also need to think about how it would affect your future situation if you were to put it off for a while.

  Keep us posted.
• 

  frenchbabyface

  Arielle : I was waiting for your answer or precisions :

  Arielle : So I'm not too sure pretending would work in my case. I know lying would make my life easier, but I'm not sure I want easy. I'm at the end of my rope-fed up with it all. I just want to be rid of the whole thing. Why is that wrong?

  I like that (you are ready) ... Nothing is wrong with it NOTHING
• 

  mustang

  "It's like these people think they can do whatever they want just because they're elders. They don't even ask if they can come over. They just do it like they're on the god damn police force or something. "

  Yep; I had one COME INTO MY HOUSE WITHOUT KNOCKING. My zealot relative fed him a pack of lies and he thought he had a full blown MS on one Return Visit!!!!

  I put him in his place: RIGHT BACK ON THE PORCH!!!!

  Mustang