Cheer up mate, things'll prob'ly get worse!
Ozzie
Sorry that I am a bit grumpy :(
by caspian 31 Replies latest jw friends
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StinkyPantz
A woman takes a lover during the day while her husband is at work. Her 9-year-old son comes home unexpectedly so she puts him in the closet and shuts the door.
Her husband also comes home early, so she puts her lover in the closet with the little boy.
The little boy says, "Dark in here."
The man says, "Yes, it is."
Boy: "I have a baseball."
Man: "That's nice."
Boy: "want to buy it?"
Man: "No, thanks."
Boy: "My dad's outside."
Man: "OK, how much?"
Boy: "25 dollars."
Man: "Fine".
In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are
In the closet together.
Boy: "Dark in here."
Man: "Yes, it is."
Boy: "I have a baseball mitt."
Remembering the last time, he asks, "how much?"
Boy: "75 dollars."
Man: "Fine."
A few days later, the boy's father says to the boy, "Grab your glove.
Let's go outside and toss the baseball back and forth."
The boy says, "I can't. I sold them."
Father: "How much did you sell them for?"
Boy: "100 dollars."
The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that, 100 dollars is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess."
They go to church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.
The boy says, "Dark in here."
The Priest says, "Don't start that shit again!" -
ozziepost
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."
The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."
Wife replies, "No you should do it, and besides it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."
Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says ..... "HEBREWS"
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bittersweet
well I don't know if these jokes are making caspian laugh, but they sure are making me giggle!
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ozziepost
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
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Fe2O3Girl
(((((CAS)))))
A woman walks into a bar, says "Barman, I'd like a double entendre, please."
So he gave her one!
A man walks in to a bar, say "OOWWW!!!"
It was an iron bar.
A man with a crocodile on a lead walks into a bar, says "Barman, do you serve Jehovah's Witnesses?"
Barman ays, "Yes sir, we serve anyone."
Man says, "Great, I'll have a pint of mild, and a Jehovah's Witness for the crocodile!"
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bittersweet
Boy: mommy, is God a boy or girl?
Mother: neither
Boy: mommy, is God black or white?
Mother: neither
Boy: mommy, is God gay or straight?
Mother: neither
Boy: mommy.........is God Michael Jackson?
sorry, couldn't resist.
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caspian
teenyuck that site is so funny
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Seven
{{{Cas}}},
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Stacy Smith
t wo lesbians were out playing golf. They tee off, one drive goes to the right, and one drive goes to the left.
One of them finds her ball in a patch of buttercups. She grabs a club and takes a mighty swing at the ball. She hits a beautiful second shot, but in the process, she hacks the hell out of the buttercups.
Suddenly a woman appears out of nowhere. She blocks her path to her golf bag, looks at her, and says:
“I’m Mother Nature, and I don’t like the way you treated my buttercups From now on, you won't be able to stand the taste of butter. Each time you eat butter you will become physically ill to the point of total nausea.”
The mystery woman then disappears as quickly as she appeared.
Shaken, the woman calls out to her partner, "Hey, where's your ball?"
"It's over here in the pussy willows."
She screams back, "WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T HIT THE BALL! DON'T HIT THE BALL!"