"Secret Online Affairs" (page 2)

stillajwexelder

jwbot -- that is a difficult question -- it is the $ 64000 question -- perhaps this online business is me secretly looking for a way out -- she is addicted to the JWs -- but admittedly not as much as when she got baptized -- but basically I am pissed off with having zero life outside the JWs -- not quite a loveless marriage but close -I love the truth -- I mean the real truth which as you know is not the exclusive domain of the WTBTS -- if I told my wife this it would not be long before I was disfellowshipped for apostasy

Gadget

perhaps this online business is me secretly looking for a way out -- she is addicted to the JWs

I know what you mean. I struggled for a while to find the way to tell my girlfriend that I didn't want to be reinstated, didn't want to be a jw anymore. In the end I got so stressed about it I told her everything, about posting here, the depth of my feelings about the wtbts, everything. I knew that when I told her she would dump me for it, and she did, but I felt such a relief to be free of the stress of it all.

Cygnus

I had a secret online affair with ~~Joanna~~ ~~Valis~~ ~~Mouthy~~ Farkel, and it was the best sex of my life.

stillajwexelder

cygnus tell us more -- all the juicy details

ESTEE

stillajwexelder:

which I can not with my JW wife --

I think this is the key, stilla ... You are missing an entire demension of the relationship you would like to be having with your wife. But because of the cult, it is impossible. She is "controlled" by the cult mentality and therefore is emotionally unavailable to you. A very sad and lonely situation, I sense. This kind of "existing" in a marriage will last only so long, then your natural desires will catch up with you ... and in fact, you have already strayed ... emotionally for now. The more comfortable you become in your new and exciting situation with your mystery lady, the easier it will feel to leave the pain of your marriage and move into your new situation ... with your new exciting mystery lady.

Keep us posted, stilla!!!

I have an active imagination!

How's that for ummmmm ... speculation...?

ESTEE

petespal2002

STILLAEXJWELDER

'Brother' in my old congregation used, uses just the same line of reasoning to justify online friendships with the opposite sex. At least he did in the beginning, as the reasoning led him to 'real time' women. His wife stays with him basically to persecute/punish him. She knows he wants her to use his infidelity as a reason to leave him and stay within jw teaching herself, so she will not! Ever! Period! So what should he do? Leave her in the end and put himself 'in the wrong' so to speak? What a situation!!!!!!!!!!!

stillajwexelder

Will do ESTEE -- I suppose it is a question of which comes first the chicken or the egg -- meet someone -- then leave the JWs (Dfd for adultery) -- or leave the JWs and then obviously when I am Dfd for apostasy then wife will want nothing to do with me then I can meet somebody else -- looks like at moment it is meet someone first -- by the way I am not excusing my behaviour --I know it is bad -- but if I could talk freely which you can not as a JW things would be easier in my relationship -- I just wish there was the reformation of the middle ages for the JWs -- do not think it will happen -- they love their control-freakery too much.

petespall 2002 - -I am not justifying my beahiour -- I know it is wrong -- I wish I was repentant - if I was still an elder I would disfellowship me!

ESTEE

stillajwexelder:

Don't beat yourself up for having your own real and valid feelings and emotions. Growth is a process, and I've learned from my own experiences in life, that sometimes paths separate ... even in a marriage situation. Just be true to yourself. Follow your heart and your intuition!

I have a theory about dub marriages. When one leaves the borg, the mate still tries to maintain control over your heart and mind ... hoping and praying forever after that the one who strayed from the borg will "repentTM" and come back and be a submissive dub. They will have that over you forever after, if they succeed! How they "won you without a word"... ick...

Again ... don't beat yourself up! You are entitled to happiness!

ESTEE

zion sleeping

GUESS I HAVE TO ADMIT, NEVER HAVE HAD ONE, BUT LOOKING

petespal2002

Stilla

I did not mean to imply that you personally were justifying your actions, just trying to make a generality using an example I know of. Don't dfshp yourself, that would be too sad[:)

I think you have exactly got it when you talk of a chicken and egg dilemma. I guess in one way it depends who you want to hurt the least in the long run, your wife or yourself. I imagine in the outworkings of time your wife would remarry a 'good' jw, as long as she had been given the 'right' reason for divorcing you.

I know of one instance where a 'good' ministerial servant with an unbelieving spouse so desperately wanted a complete family within the 'truth'. To cut a long story short, he fell in love with a pioneer sister, they both got dfshpd for adultery, their respective partners divorced them, they married each other, and in the fullness of time were reinstated and serve in a different cong but with their old roles back. So in a convoluted way he got what he desired. But was this a good way to go about it? Who knows. The irony here is that after said brother's wife divorced him she began to study and is now an active witness in their original congregation. So if he had been patient he also may have got what he wanted without all the hastle! However, when asked why he had chosen the path he had, the reply was, "you can't help who you fall in love with." Maybe that, then, is the bottom line.

"Secret Online Affairs"

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