How do we stop feeling like exjws?

Brummie

I dont know.

Today I had an episode of dissociation, the feeling of being totally disconnected from everything and everyone. As if all of a sudden I knew no one or wasnt connected to anyone. Strange coming from a close family man I guess.

It felt like when I was leaving the Watchtower and the world was moving at a different pace, as if I am in slow motion or in suspended animation. It lasted for over an hour and kinda made me feel like an exjw again. After having been out a few years I often think I'm totally over it so it surprises me that I can get a relapse at this late stage.

Perhaps its not even assocaited to having left the JWs, but it sure felt like it. Anyhow, it seems to be passing now but I just wonder if we can ever really stop being exjws and get on with life when we get these little things happening to remind us of our past.

Perhaps I need a brain transplant...I doubt whether I'd have room for one though :)

Brummie

StinkyPantz

Brummie-

I just wonder if we can ever really stop being exjws and get on with life

I don't see why one necessitates the other. I forsee no problem with me being an exjw AND going on with the rest of my life. My life as a dub had made me who I am. It will forever be a part of me. If I totally purge a huge part of my past, who am I? I say be an exjw, remember the things that it has taught you. . and lead the best life you can.

pettygrudger

(((Brummie)))

I don't think this is as much of an ex-JW thing as it is a human thing. Many people I know have gone through episodes of feeling "disconnected, alienated, perhaps even frightened & alone". All of the sudden not knowing the answers, not knowing where you "fit in" and what your future means. This is human.

Our past is what our past is, and its part of who we are. Its part of what made you as wonderful as you are. Embrace it, accept it, and love yourself regardless (or because of).

Love ya

Rhonda

SixofNine

Today I had an episode of dissociation, the feeling of being totally disconnected from everything and everyone. As if all of a sudden I knew no one or wasnt connected to anyone. Strange coming from a close family man I guess.

The highlighted part to me is a strong clue as to what's going on here. The fact that you seem like a (mostly) sane guy with a job in a caring profession is a second clue. My very strong feeling is that your "feeling of being totally disconnected from everything and everyone" has very little to do with your being an ex-jw, and everything to do with with your being a human. It's simply the way the vast majority of us feel at times. Hell, it may even be what drives us to be social creatures; this raw knowledge that we are individuals, seperate from and unique to everyone and everything. Hell2, it may even be what drives us to invent such anthropomorphic gods as we humans are wont to do.

Now sure, perhaps as witnesses we somehow lessened, or even avoided these feelings altogether, but then again, we were lobotomized three times a week!

Brummie

Thanks for the quick reply.

Stinky I have no problem being an exjw or having it as part of my make up, its just that I dont like to "feel" like one, it triggers a negative mindset. To "feel" disossiation or to "feel" the things connected to JWsism is quite overpowering, I seldom get this but today for some reason it got triggered.

Thanks petty, I was wondering if it is an exjw thing or not so I'm quite relieved to know others get this sort of thing (though I wouldnt wish it on anyone), I feel a bit normal again knowing others get it, I can only link it to JWism since I have never felt it outside of that context.

Kisses

brummie

Brummie

Thanks six, that makes a lot of sense. It does!

Plus I was never keen on WT labotamies, very overpowering.

Brummie

Mindchild

Ok Brummie...no kisses for me you wild cat...

But oh, the point I was going to make is that Paul Simon has the best answer to your question:

50 Ways To Leave Your Lover

The problem is all inside your head
She said to me
The answer is easy if you
Take it logically
I?d like to help you in your struggle
To be free
There must be fifty ways
To leave your lover

She said it?s really not my habit
To intrude
Furthermore, I hope my meaning
Won?t be lost or misconstrued
But I?ll repeat myself
At the risk of being crude
There must be fifty ways
To leave your lover
Fifty ways to leave your lover

CHORUS:
You just slip out the back, Jack
Make a new plan, Stan
You don?t need to be coy, Roy
Just get yourself free
Hop on the bus, Gus
You don?t need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, Lee
And get yourself free

She said it grieves me so
To see you in such pain
I wish there was something I could do
To make you smile again
I said I appreciate that
And would you please explain
About the fifty ways

She said why don?t we both
Just sleep on it tonight
And I believe in the morning
You?ll begin to see the light
And then she kissed me
And I realized she probably was right
There must be fifty ways
To leave your lover
Fifty ways to leave your lover

Lady Lee

Dissociating is part of being human - natural and healthy.

One thing to consider though Brummie is that sometimes things will get triggered. Sometimes we can identify what triggers it, sometimes we can't. But the experience of dissociating after coming out of a cult is called "floating" It passes. These "floating" experiences can occur less often the more recovery time we have.

It might be too that usually we don't notice these kinds of experiences. The stronger we become the more aware we may be of their existence. Which gives us an opportunity to deal with them when necessary

StinkyPantz

((Brummie))

I think I misunderstood your post. I don't equate feeling lost or disassociated with feeling exjw. For me it is the opposite. Being an exjw means feeling free in my eyes. Nevertheless I get your point. Muah!!

Brummie

*kisses mindchild*

Ladylee, thank you, "floating" sounds more like it, and I seldom get it now. Infact this is the first time in ages. After reading six post, I've just realised what has most likely triggered it.

I have been offered a better job, managment, better pay, same work but its for a different company. This means I have got to leave the job and people I am attatched too. I should be real happy but its tough to leave everyone behind, maybe this is one of the reasons, it similar to leaving everything behind as a JW and starting over. A trigger perhaps.

Stinky I see what you mean, being an exjw is the best thing to happen, but it does have repercusions occasionally.

How do we stop feeling like exjws?

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