How do we stop feeling like exjws? (page 2)

ScoobySnax

"How do we stop being exjws" LOL Brummie.

.....sometimes good post, sometimes bad, sometimes indifferent. You silly ol cat.

Lady Lee

Yea Brummie sounds like you found your trigger.

Always helps when you can see what is in front of you

shamus

You can never forget, Brummie. Never.

Just keep learning from your experiences. They get better.

maybesbabies

Nothing new to add, just wanted to hug Brummie! ((((((((((Brummie))))))))))

Speaking as someone who has been out of the Organization for over 23 years, I personally crossed a threshold (don't know exactly when) when I stopped being an exJW to heal myself, and became an exJW so I could offer the hand of care and support to others, so they wouldn't have to go through the hell I went through after I was disfellowshipped.

Big Tex

Anyhow, it seems to be passing now but I just wonder if we can ever really stop being exjws and get on with life when we get these little things happening to remind us of our past.

How do I stop being an ex-abuse victm? We are the sum total of our choices as well as our experiences.

You change from being part of the past by facing the pain of what happened, and integrating that into who you are and who you want to be. That is when you are no longer an ex-JW (or ex-victim) and you become a survivor. And that is what you, and the rest of us, did. We survived. That experience is now part of who we are, and it can never be taken away, nor should it. We all suffered, some more than most, but still those times both good and bad are now imprinted on us thereby making us who we are today.

If you take that experience away, we not the person we are now. We learned through our pain. We now have the knowledge of good and evil. We know more than most.

Remember, but do not be overwhelmed. Being an ex-JW is not who you are, but a chapter in your story.

Frannie Banannie

Today I had an episode of dissociation, the feeling of being totally disconnected from everything and everyone. As if all of a sudden I knew no one or wasnt connected to anyone. Strange coming from a close family man I guess.
It felt like when I was leaving the Watchtower and the world was moving at a different pace, as if I am in slow motion or in suspended animation. It lasted for over an hour and kinda made me feel like an exjw again. After having been out a few years I often think I'm totally over it so it surprises me that I can get a relapse at this late stage.
Perhaps its not even assocaited to having left the JWs, but it sure felt like it. Anyhow, it seems to be passing now but I just wonder if we can ever really stop being exjws and get on with life when we get these little things happening to remind us of our past.

Not so strange, Brummie....PTSD from leaving a cult includes "flashbacks", identity crises and disassociatiative feelings that taper off over a period of time until they no longer intrude on our consciousness.....I compare what happened to you with my own experience when I had quit smoking for years after entering the borg....one day at work, I found myself searching through absolutely everything in my work area....overturning stacks of paperwork looking for something....then I stopped myself because I couldn't recall what had prompted the search....what was I looking for....it dawned on me that I was searching for a pack of ciggies, lighter and ashtray....something my body had obviously not forgotten and a "behavior" my body had "regurgitated" in a "flashback" episode....it was totally unconnected to any desire on my part to smoke, as I *had* no desire to smoke....and it never happened again.

Frannie B

BLISSISIGNORANCE

You DON"T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just like after an operation, you feel better but the scar is always there to remind you it happened!

And I have the Ozzies echoing in agreement as I write.

Cheers, Bliss

Maverick

Dear Brummie, my second favorite kitty*, I can relate to all that has been said here. I'd like to add, that I personally like being a non, former, ex, bad JW. I can clear an isle at home depot and make the duds choke at a restaurant when I walk up and say "hi!" The power! The dopes! The power over the dopes!

* My blue-eyed Links Point is sitting in my lap as I write, so you understand I'll sure.

Maverick, who has a tiger in his tank!

How do we stop feeling like exjws?