Ladies First

by snugglebunny 70 Replies latest jw friends

  • snugglebunny
    snugglebunny

    OK, so everyone is happy to hold the door open for someone else, regardless of gender.

    But who walks on the outside of the footpath when they're with a lady? And if you do, will the lady feel pleased or demeaned?

    Clue: I always walk on the outside. And I generally give up my seat for a lady if there's no-where else for her to sit. Plus I always - well nearly always - go to the bar to get the drinks. Isn't that what men do?

  • blondie
    blondie

    I give up my seat for pregnant women, older men and women, people with canes or equivalent, women holding or with small children, etc. Healthy men and women, probably not.

    It is not a gender/sex thing, it is a matter of kindness and putting yourself in the other person's situation. If you want to extend such kindness only to women if you're a man, that is your decision and others should not criticize you.

  • days of future passed
    days of future passed

    I like it when others think about me and hold a door open or help if things are going south.

    I do the same for others.

    If a man wants to be a gentleman that's fine with me.

    Why discourage their old fashioned charm?

    It makes their day and it doesn't cost you anything.

  • Xanthippe
    Xanthippe
    But who walks on the outside of the footpath when they're with a lady? And if you do, will the lady feel pleased or demeaned?

    Wasn't this from the time when men used to wear swords and didn't want to spike the lady with his rapier? Ooh er missus! Do you still wear a sword snugglybunny?

    It's fine to do whatever you want snugglybunny. If the lady wonders why you keep skipping around her to the outside maybe she'll think you like ballroom dancing.


  • stillin
    stillin

    I take the street side of the sidewalk because it's the more exposed side.

  • TD
    TD

    But who walks on the outside of the footpath when they're with a lady? And if you do, will the lady feel pleased or demeaned?

    Depends on how well you know the woman. Basic self-defense for women is to walk on the outside with a man she either does not know well or trust.

    With friends, intimate acquaintances, etc. there is no "rule" and has not been for many years.

  • LoveUniHateExams
    LoveUniHateExams

    But who walks on the outside of the footpath when they're with a lady? - I walk on the outside (nearest the road) whenever I see someone pushing a buggy/stroller. I just can't let a small kid be so near traffic.

  • stillin
    stillin

    Same principle applies when walking with a lady-friend alongside a street. Yes,TD, there are still rules. Nobody enforces those rules, but being considerate will always be the right way.

  • TD
    TD

    No there aren't "rules" in the sense of enforcement, but there are books on etiquette that we turn to when there is a question.

    The 1922 edition of Emily Post's Etiquette In Society, In Business, In Politics And At Home is often cited in support of the idea that a gentleman should always walk on the curbside of the sidewalk, but subsequent titles by the same author relaxed on this view and basically said it was up to the couple. (I'm paraphrasing, but can provide quotes)

    There are people who still cling to this tradition as a symbol of male expendability (i.e. A car jumping the curb would be more likely to hit him than her) and if that is your cup of tea, then by all means, walk on the street side.

  • stillin
    stillin

    It's weird, TD. When I see a guy on the side away from the street, I think it looks wrong. Like, she would catch any splashes from passing cars or tossed out litter, etc.

    Maybe it goes back to the time that a girl I was walking with had her ass grabbed by a guy in a car. Grab my ass and I'll drag you out of the car.

    There are still published modern day guidelines that include this ancient tradition.

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