How Did You View JEHOVAH As a JW? (Part 1)

by Prisca 22 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  minimus

  I viewed him as my God. I believed in whatever he said. I was not afraid of him. I tended to view him as a loving Father.
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  gumby

  • Was he some Almighty God who was to be feared yet respected ?
  • Did you fear him, terrified that if you didn't obey every commandment and Society rule, you would be doomed at Armageddon?
  • Did he seem a benevolent God, one who looked after and cherished you?
  • Did you feel as though he was close, listening to every prayer, watching over you with concern and love ?
  • Or was he watching you so as to judge every wrong thought and action, condemning you when you were anything less than spiritually strong or pure?

  Wow....I didn't realise some of my feelings on this until I had to think about it. This Organisation was built upon good works, and bad actions. If you were good enough....you had no problems. If your thoughts and actions were not so good.....you had things to worry about. I was usually the latter......as are most people. One can never be "good enough" as a witness......hence Jehovah is usually pissed at ya.

  How do I view him now?

  Jehovah was a Jewish god that was adopted from an earlier people, which can be attested to. I don't know who the real gods name is.............if there is one. ( I believe there is something)

  Gumby
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  blondie

  When you were a JW, how did you view Jehovah my abusive father?

  • Was he some(one who thought he was the) Almighty God who was to be feared yet respected ? (yes)
  • Did you fear him, terrified that if you didn't obey every commandment and Society rule, you would be doomed at Armageddon at the end of the day? (until I was 8 then I learned how to be passive-aggressive)
  • Or was he watching you so as to judge every wrong thought and action, condemning you. (yes, but I considered the source.)

  Was it no wonder that I viewed God this way:

  • Did he seem a benevolent God, one who looked after and cherished you?
  • Did you feel as though he was close, listening to every prayer, watching over you with concern and love ?

  I have never felt that the WTS, elders, or my parents acted on God's behalf when love was not in the equation.
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  Gopher

  I viewed him as this awesome, powerful yet distant "fire". Of the choices you listed, "condemning judge" is the closest to how I felt about Jehovah. This was greatly influenced by the teachings of the Watchtower Society. They sure know how to botch a relationship with God!

  I was always afraid of doing something wrong, and I felt that the authority figures in life (parents, WT organization, teachers) were there to take the FUN out of life. Seeing people disfellowshipped left and right reinforced that notion.

  Now that I'm out, I still feel distanced from the Creator. I think he's kept himself at arm's length from us, and I don't think any religion really helps you get "close" to him. But religion does a good job of bolstering your imagination!
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  Mulan

  Did he seem a benevolent God, one who looked after and cherished you?

  I never felt this about him.

  Or was he watching you so as to judge every wrong thought and action, condemning you.

  I was afraid of him.............not godly fear, just fear. I felt about him as stated above. Now I see God as a powerful force of some intangible sort. Not personal at all.
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  FlyingHighNow

  I viewed God in a healthy way until I was 14. God was a loving and kind grandfatherly god who would never stop loving me for a mistake I made much less deliberately punish me. I felt he would just allow me to live with the consequences of my decisions. I was Episcopalian.

  My mom and grandmother let me go sick for a year from age 13-14 and then only believed something was wrong when I almost died. Then is when I began to teeter between agnosticism and atheism. I lost faith because I felt God would have never allowed them to hurt me like they did.

  Okay, I'm 17 and then JWs enter into my life with the promise of a world much like the song Imagine by John Lennon. In the song JL says, "Someday you may join us and the world will live as one." I already had that idea when I first heard the song. I was one of the "us" John mentioned. So the JWs are offering all these explanations for scriptures I have always wondered about. I want that utopia they teach about. According to the way JWs taught even JL would share their utopia someday.

  One big problem with all of this. They restore my faith that there is a God but they also depersonalize him and replace him with this reservoir of dynamic energy. I think they taught us much more about Jesus and his personality than they did Jehovah. Basically Jehovah became this big force who kept track every single mistake I made. He could write me in or out of the book of life from second to second. He was an angry, jealous God who took great delight in destroying whole populations if they didn't please him. He sounded more like "rule or ruin" than Satan did. I was scared of him and I never felt good enough for him even when I was doing my best.

  Now that I have left I am trying to get back to that loving grandfatherly God I knew as a child. I have people right and left trying to convince me there is a hell and I am going there if I don't get my butt saved. I never believed in hell. To believe in a God capable of burning people in hell would be exchanging one big evil bully God for another. I am convinced that the idea of hell originates with someone evil. If the God who created us really intends to burn people in hell then perhaps Satan is God and evil will indeed triumph over good in the end. I keep the faith that good will triumph over evil and that hell & blood thirsty Armegeddon gods are a teaching originating with evil or Satan if he exists.

  Heather S.
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  ashitaka

  I didn't. He's got this invisible thing going on.

  ash
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  gumby

  I'd like to add something I didn't in my first post.

  There were "times" in my life as a witness, that I REALLY felt close to Jehovah and that he blessed me.....I didn't ALWAYS "fear him" in the sense I was afraid of him.

  One thing I at least thought when I was a witness, is that there was a God who had control over things. Now.......I don't know. Oh well....Id rather believe truth than a lie, even if it doesn't feel good.

  Gumby
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  Brummie

  In my younger years I was scared, those pictures of horses coming through the clouds with thunderbolts were too much for any kid.

  Was he some Almighty God who was to be feared yet respected ?

  This is how I veiwed him through later teenage years.

  Did you feel as though he was close, listening to every prayer, watching over you with concern and love ?

  I felt this during my 20s. I occasionally used to just thank him for showing me the truth (puke) and really appreciated him.

• Or was he watching you so as to judge every wrong thought and action, condemning you when you were anything less than spiritually strong or pure?

This is how I felt about him in my late 20s after beginning to doubt the Watchtower. Infact, I believed he was out to get me killed. gee that triggers a bad feeling.

Now I believe the "jehovah" of the Watchtower doesnt exist. He is the product of CTRussel/Rutherfords imaginations.