How Did You View JEHOVAH As a JW? (Part 1)

by Prisca 22 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  RAYZORBLADE

  Let me give this a try:

  • Was he some Almighty God who was to be feared yet respected ?
  • Did you fear him, terrified that if you didn't obey every commandment and Society rule, you would be doomed at Armageddon?
  • Did he seem a benevolent God, one who looked after and cherished you?
  • Did you feel as though he was close, listening to every prayer, watching over you with concern and love ?
  • Or was he watching you so as to judge every wrong thought and action, condemning you when you were anything less than spiritually strong or pure?

  And how do you view him now ?

  Has leaving the JWs affected that?

  Any outside factors as well?

  1. Yes, first one, that Jehovah was to be feared yet respected. I totally believed that.
  2. Yes, I feared that I would be doomed at Armageddon, if I slipped up in my devotion to Jehovah and the organization.
  3. No, I wanted to believe that Jehovah was benevolent, but no matter how hard I prayed, when I needed him most, he was absent. Seemed more willing to dole out discipline/destruction.
  4. Yes, at first I felt he might be watching out for me, but well...when I thought about it, I don't think he was ever as close as I had imagined him to be. When I had some serious problems near the end, I did not feel he was ever close, listening to any prayer, or showing concern or love. Abandonment!
  5. Watching over me to judge me: absolutely. Thus some of the points above, came to fruition as he was so judgemental over me, because I was never spiritually strong enough or pure enough etc., because I knew he 'knew my every thought and what was in my heart'. Phooey!

  Now I view him as part of bad experience, a tale I once believed in, but no longer.

  Leaving the JWs, absolutely has affected my thinking, belief system. Without him, or his so-called earthly organization in my life, my perspective gradually changed, and with that time, came more insight and more self examination.

  Outside factors? That worldly friends, were unconditional in their love/friendship. Going back to school/college/university gives one a very broad and comprehensive perspective on anything and everything beyond the WTS and their cranky arsed Jehovah.

  The internet. Also, other former JWs.

  Good thread Prisca.
• 

  kyria

  Ha... have you ever seen the movie "Brazil"? I viewed him as the government in that movie! Full of red-tape and dogmatic. Illogical. Not taking into account any personal experiences but making one blanket set of rules for everyone.

  I also saw him a MAGICAL. Like a talisman that I could call on when I needed something. So he was very much like a father in that respect. But instead of asking him to borrow the car, I asked him to protect me from demons. I really took advantage of prayer to ask for all kinds of selfish things. I figured, I might as well ask. At the worst, he just says no. At the best, I pass I my math test.

  When I sang songs about "loving" God, I felt nothing. What was love? Sex? Was I supposed to be physically attracted to God?

  I watched the crazy old bats with their plastic songbook covers, singing and shaking their heads back and forth as if they were having an orgasm.

  I wanted to feel that love, but I felt nothing.
• 

  FlyingHighNow

  Prisca,

  Thank you so much for the welcome. I am very much enjoying the board.

  I never had a desire to go to heaven. I still have no desire to go there unless it would be for a vacation and a visit with God, etc. I like the old earth here. I still want to see the world of Imagine come someday. Maybe the JWs aren't off the mark too far when they say that all this junk going on is a result of man running things without wisdom or power from the designer. I look at magical, loving little babies and children and then the great love we humans are capable of having for each other. I can't believe it will end with our deaths. I can't believe talented and profound people like John Lennon are either burning in hell or permanently turned to dust. What a sad and tragic waste that would be.

  A former JW elder/bethelite reasoned with me that if billions of people are destroyed at Armegeddon, that makes Jesus' sacrifice worth a whole lot less.It certainly diminishes the value of it. But if he truly came to save humankind and he truly does offer grace and mercy to everyone, then look how valuable his shed blood becomes. He asked that his own murders be forgiven. Think about the profundity of that request. They didn't ask to be saved or forgiven: Jesus asked for them to be forgiven because they had no clue what they were doing.

  I am not a Christian but I do believe in Jesus still. The Jesus I believe in is very aware that we all have extinuating circumstances to take into consideration. He knows we were all put here at a disadvantage. This Jesus would never give up on anyone salvagable. This Jesus would never burn people in hell. He would never want people using fear to try to get people to love him.

  This Jesus came to save Pepperland (Earth) from the Blue Meanies (Satan? Demons, hopelessly bonafide evil humans) and fill the air again with uninterrupted music and laughter. This Jesus perhaps inspired the song Imagine. Who knows? But as I said before, if God is like the JWs and most churches teach of him then maybe we weren't created by a good God and maybe Evil will triumph over Good.

  Look again, though at a baby or small child and ask yourself: who created this magical being so filled with love and wonder? An evil God (the author of hell and condemnation) or a loving, understanding and kind one like the one in the definition of love in one of the letters to the Corinthians. You know the scripture. It was something like: Love is long suffering and kind.It does not brag. It does not keep account of the injurey. Love hopes all things, endures all things, believes all things. It doesn't look for its own interests. It bears all things. Love never fails. <....going on very bad memory.

  Love, Heather S.