When I was a JW there were a few sisters I knew who had serious weight problems. I now have a couple of friends who are obese. I have a weight problem also (about 40 pounds over my best weight).
I was out with my girlfriend today. I feel sad for her because of the way people look at her or ignore her. Waitresses think she should be on a diet (she goes to weight-watchers). Some people think it is funny. The prejudice is unbelievable. People can be so rude and cruel. My friend has a heart of gold. But too many people look at her and think she just eats too much. They don't have a clue about her health problems and how hard she wors to try to lose weight. It just doesn't happen for her.
Some one (else) sent me the following and I will pass it on to her.
There are several assumptions, based on myth rather than fact, which many people believe to be true about the obese person. These myths affect how we view and work with fat people. We all need to examine our beliefs about overweight people to recognize and clear out misinformation and prejudice. Some of the myths, and accurate information as we know of today, include:
Myth #1: Fat people are compulsive eaters.
Truth: Some fat people (as well as thin people) are compulsive eaters; some are not. Since compulsive eating generally occurs in response to dieting, those people who diet are at risk. Since most fat people, especially women, have felt pressured to diet, some will have developed a compulsive eating problem. (Personally I've known a lot of thin people who are obsessive eaters)
Myth #2: Fat people become fat from overeating and under-exercising. They can become thin by dieting and exercising.
Truth: Some people become over-weight from eating too much and exercising too little. At least two-thirds of fat people, however, are genetically programmed to be fat, regardless of their eating and exercise habits. On average, fat people eat no more than thin people; this has been repeatedly verified. If someone has become fat from a combination of overeating and under exercising, their size will probably diminish as they eat less and exercise more. However, they may never become thin, unless they are genetically meant to have thin bodies. (I am 2 inches taller than my mother but she insists that I am over-weight if I don't weigh 120 pounds like her. What she fails to realize is that genetically I am not like her. I am like my father's family. The comparison hurt for many years until I learned the differences)
Myth #3: Fat people are avoiding or covering their sexuality.
Truth: Some people who are fat may use fatness to protect themselves against their own or others' sexuality. As with anyone, however, this must be determined on an individual basis. Many people who are fat are quite comfortable with their sexuality, and are sexually active. (Shocking as it may be, some people actually prefer a sexual partner that does not resemble a skeleton)
Myth #4: Fat women have all been sexually abused when they were young.
Truth: It is estimated that about 30% of women of any size have been sexually abused. One cannot assume any correlation between body size and a history of sexual abuse. (Believe me after working with over 600 women who were sexaully abused I can verify they come in all shapes and sizes. And to be honest I have worked with more underweight women of that 600 than overweight ones)
Myth #5: Fat people lack willpower.
Truth: Most fat people in our culture have spent years dieting, and have lost vast quantities of weight. However, more than 95% of dieters regain lost weight. Very low calorie diets result in both physical and psychological pressure to resist what the body interprets as starvation. This psychobiological pressure leads dieters to binge in order to receive vital nourishment. (I know how little I really eat and the weight stays on. Learning to eat regular meals or even 5 smaller meals a day tricks my body into thinking it is not starving.)
Myth #6: Inside every fat person is a thin person trying to get out.
Truth: Given the prejudice which confronts fat people in our society, most fat people would like to be thinner. Nevertheless, they cannot become thinner. They need to accept themselves and get on with having the best life they can have. Do not assume that with the "right" treatment, a fat person will get thin. Biology largely determines a person's body size and shape. With the "right" treatment, however, a fat person can have a full, happy, and healthy life.
Most fat people in our society have undergone socially sanctioned abuse. The fatter the person, the more likely it is for that person to face abuse in daily life. The abuse may come in the form of insults from strangers, family, and acquaintances; denial of insurance or of medical treatment, or insistence by medical professionals that weight loss is required for healing any and all presenting complaints; restricted access to jobs, promotions, or advanced education; denial of opportunities to adopt a child; lack of access to adequate seating in theaters, public transportation, restaurants, and even restrooms. (I have heard of some people have to pay double fares on planes because they can't fit into those narrow seats they jamb in to get more people on the plane)
As with other victims of abuse, the fat person may have internalized the abuse, with such consequences as low self-esteem, social isolation, passivity, or self hatred.
Learning and dealing with our prejudices can help us to stop hurting those who already struggle with accepting themselves due to the prejudices of others