Lady Lee, I'm so glad you posted this. The information is so good, so true. When I was young, the biggest problem I had was when other kids poked fun at my nose. For some reason, I was the only one in my family with the larger nose, and to top it off, it had a bump on it. True friends saw past my nose, but for me, it was always an issue, and it affected the way I went about my connections with people. Also, during this time, I happened to be skinny as a rail--so with the big nose and being skinny, I was prime for other name calling as well.
I learned to accept my physical appearance, but always felt like I'd be happier if I were more like everyone else. Years later, when I had an accident, where my nose was badly broken, the opportunity came for me to have it fixed--for the hump to be removed. But the surgery turned out badly and there were complications. I have to say, I wish that I'd never let them touch my nose. Just two years ago, I was finally able to have it corrected surgically. And, did I mention that due to all my emotional issues with the JW's, etc., and my cognitions and perceptions of life in general, various doctors put me on first one medication and then another. These medications had the side affect of weight gain, which I was oblivious to. After all, I was the skinny girl, who never had to worry about weight, even in my late thirties. Then life changed for me. I suddenly ballooned up to 200 lbs. To top that off, those diets were horrible. I stopped taking the medications, but my metabolism had been altered. Then menopause began, and also I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. So on top of gaining so much weight, I was in physical pain constantly. This put a halt to my active routine, and over the years, I saw myself become an overweight, inactive woman. Although I had no major health issues, I felt trapped in an unfamiliar body. I hated myself, but so much else was going on inside me, that I just couldn't seem to do anything about it. I tried, but the quick loss of ten to 20 lbs was followed by weeks of losing nothing.
Three years ago, I began a mission to fix myself, from the inside out. I began with a physical cleansing, and then a spiritual, and now back to the physical. I work out three times a week, for an hour each time. It nearly killed me the first couple of weeks, but I am determined to overcome. It wasn't even so much losing pounds, but just becoming stronger physically, and having the stamina to climb stairs, pick up laundry baskets, and play with grandkids, without hurting so much, or having so much weakness. These are the "catch 22" situations many people face.
Now, after three months of being in the fitness routine, I am feeling so much better about myself. My pain is more manageable, and I don't feel as sorry for myself as I did. I highly recommend some type of exercise, because it stimulates both mind and body. And, by the way, without even worrying about the pounds, I have dropped two sizes and seven inches all over, and am getting back into clothes I haven't been able to wear for quite a long time.
The bottom line is, it doesn't matter what other people think. It's what's in your heart that counts. Some of the most beautiful people I know are very much overweight. All I see is their smile and that sparkle in their eyes. When they hug me, it is a warm and loving place to be.
Society will always have cruel and judgmentary humans, because mankind still has a long way to go to learn about love and compassion. I never once thought that I'd ever have to be concerned with being overweight. On the other hand, I never made fun of overweight people when I was very skinny. There is a balance to all things, and we just have to find it. We never know what tomorrow may bring.
