Loss of a Jehovah’s Witness who I considered a friend

Fallen_Winter

I have known a Jehovah’s Witness for approximately 15 years and I have considered her a friend although I know that Jehovah’s Witnesses cannot have friends who are not Jehovah’s Witnesses. Approximately two years ago, I was going through a very difficult time and I asked my friend if we could have Bible Study. She said yes and we have been studying the Bible since. I have liked the studies and have been consistent with it. I also felt that the studies were helping me and that I was learning.
However, I have not been attending the meetings consistently and some of it has to do with me wanting to do other things. Furthermore, I don’t feel like dressing up for the meetings so I just don’t go. Today, my Bible Study Conductor who I have considered to be a friend, brought to my attention that I have not been making progress despite her efforts. She inquired as to what was the barrier and how she could assist me. I stated to her that I was not ready to progress to baptism.
The truth is, I like the studies but I am not ready to commit myself to the religion and don’t know if I will ever be ready to commit to baptism. I felt as if I was being questioned by her and being pressured into responding. I also felt that it had more to do with her than what it had to do with me.
I am writing this because I am hurt. I have considered her to be a support. However, if I am not actively working towards becoming a Jehovah’s Witness, I doubt that she will maintain her relationship with me.

Jeffro

Sorry to hear that. What you have described is by design.

dropoffyourkeylee

There have been some meeting parts/videos recently which directed the JWs to cease studies with unproductive and non-progressing studies. She is just following directions.

St George of England

If you are not "making progress" you will be dropped so your friend can spend time with a more productive student. This was demonstrated a couple of weeks ago at the midweek meeting.

Making Disciples—Courage

George

Beth Sarim

Talk about lack of love,,hey??

Fallen_Winter

Thank-you to everyone who responded. Now it makes sense. I wanted the freedom to study and progress when I felt ready to progress but now I see that there is a time limit. It felt to me that the timing was not appropriate for me as I was not ready to have such a discussion nor was I expecting this discussion to occur today. She prayed and cried when she prayed. I think that it hit us both that our relationship would not continue.

slimboyfat

She might be under pressure from a group overseer or something to stop counting the study or even to stop conducting it if it’s “unproductive”. If you flat out said to her let’s stop the study at the moment, but still meet from time to time and discuss spiritual and other things, my guess is she would probably go for that. I think that’s even the instruction, if I remember right.

But generally, I think the JW attitude to “unproductive” studies is pretty counterproductive. Because there isn’t exactly a long list of people waiting for a Bible study, so why not just continue as long as the person wants? In the long run, it often pays off, though sometimes it is in the very long run. I know JWs who only got baptised after decades of Bible studies on and off. For one local couple it took over 40 years to get baptised, and some of their children and grandchildren have got baptised too now. For others, 10 or 20 years before making a decision is not unheard of.

blondie

During the push to make converts pre-1975, jws were told to drop a bible student that did make progress in 6 months, to drop them and go on to another person who might make progress;

Kingdom Ministry February 1970 p.4

● How should we go about terminating unfruitful Bible studies?

This is a question that we ought to consider if any of our present studies have been in progress for approximately six months. Are they coming to the congregation meetings as yet, and are they beginning to make their lives over in harmony with what they have learned from God’s Word? If so, we want to continue to help them. But, if not, it may be that we could accomplish more good with our time by using it to witness to others.

no-zombie

Most Jehovah's Witnesses are good and kind people. And as a result (as she genuinely believes that she is trying to help you) her motives should be seen as coming from an honest place. However, Jehovah's Witness are also strictly loyal to the Organization that directs the preaching work and as such, she will follow the instructions to terminate a 'unproductive' study. Like disfellowshipping, even this is seen as a kindness, as the shock of loosing your study is viewed as a last chance for you to change your mind, so that you recommence it with more vigor and commitment.

Sadly, under the current Governing Body, witnessing and conducting Bible studies is not about spreading Bible truths, no ... is only about conversion. And when it is not happening, Witnesses are told to move on to a more deserving souls.

Sorry.

Ron.W.

The JW leadership blows so hot and cold.

One CO came round years ago and told us to ditch all our cosy mag routes, people who just wanted the Awake and a nice chat and gave us a cuppa -

Reason given was that it was an urgent life saving message we were delivering and needed to weed out these 'nice householders who were not making proper spiritual progress'...

Few years later, totally opposite advice, make friends of our RV's , don't pressure them, Jesus wants all to be saved, call back on even those who just took a tract but showed very little interest..

As a pioneer I suddenly realised ALL this advice was a total load of shite, purely designed to keep us all on our toes and busy and blinkered on the ministry!!!

Loss of a Jehovah’s Witness who I considered a friend

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