Loss of a Jehovah’s Witness who I considered a friend (page 2)

carla

Sounds like you have described a typical jw. You may have dodged a bullet. Research outside of the organization.

FedUpJW

Conducting Bible studies is not about spreading Bible truths, no ... is only about conversion. And when it is not happening, Witnesses are told to move on to a more deserving souls.

That is the truth, and all the while the JW will brazenly lie to your face and tell you that their purpose is not conversion, but rather only encouraging bible study and information.

Here are their own words from their official website F.A.Q.'s in writing.

Am I Expected to Become One of Jehovah's Witnesses if I Study the Bible With Them?

No, you are not obligated in any way. Millions enjoy our Bible study program without becoming Jehovah’s Witnesses. a The purpose of the program is to show you what the Bible teaches. What you decide to do with that knowledge is up to you. We recognize that faith is a personal matter.—Joshua 24:15.

Fallen_Winter

@St George of England,

The link that you posted is what she showed me and she asked me the questions listed on #5. I think that it is best to end the studies because even if I progress to attending meetings, I know that eventually I will be questioned as to why I have not progressed towards baptism. During her closing prayer, she said that she would like to be my friend forever. I would like to be her friend forever. However, I believe that the governing body will not allow us to be friends. It hurts me to lose someone who I considered a friend.

TonusOH

Fallen_Winter: However, if I am not actively working towards becoming a Jehovah’s Witness, I doubt that she will maintain her relationship with me.

Unfortunately, this is probably the case. It is likely that she sincerely sees you as someone she wants to save by bringing you into the fold as a baptized Jehovah's Witness. But they expect people to progress from a Bible study to regular attendance at meetings to a baptized publisher, usually within a year.

When I was in, there was a bit of stigma attached to anyone who studied for a long time and made no progress. The JW giving the study would feel --or be made to feel-- as if they were being strung along by someone who was 'not serious about the truth.' For JWs, recruitment is extremely important, and someone who will not take the expected steps is considered to be wasting everyone's time.

It's not you. It's the JW mentality, which is unhealthy. Better to see it from the outside than to understand it after it is too late.

StephaneLaliberte

although I know that Jehovah’s Witnesses cannot have friends who are not Jehovah’s Witnesses.

That sums it up. Unfortunately.

dropoffyourkeylee

But generally, I think the JW attitude to “unproductive” studies is pretty counterproductive.

I concur with SBF on this one. Considering how terribly ineffective the other forms of ministry are, both door to door and the cartwork, the time spent on studies with friendly-but-not-becoming-JWs-anytime-soon people is probably still more effective than the other forms of ministry. It does have some positive benefits. One big one is that it builds good will with the public; shows that JWs can be good friendly people and provides a much needed social interaction with the student. It is evident from FW's comments that this 'unproductive' study had positive benefits to both the JW and to FW, and that the WT directive to cease such a study was unkind and counterproductive.

StephaneLaliberte

I’d like to add that whatever you thought you had, it wasn’t true friendship. True friendship is built on mutual trust, respect, and loyalty. Unfortunately, that’s often not the case with JWs and many religious individuals. If someone is unable to respect your personal beliefs, they cannot truly be your friend. When JWs engage with outsiders only to try to convert them, it reveals a lack of respect for those beliefs.

slimboyfat

I don’t think we want to over characterise and contrast a lack of true friendship inside JWs with a utopia of unconditional friendship outside JWs. Non-JWs are just as capable of having ulterior and self-interested motives for friendship, they just take different forms. Plus conditionality is surely a spectrum, not an all or nothing, because genuine friendships may be stronger than commonly promoted by Watchtower, but neither are they completely unconditional, nor likely would we want them to be. After all there are surely red lines we would all set beyond which friendship would not survive, and these can include the beliefs of the other person as well as actions, just not usually the narrowly defined set of beliefs Watchtower sets out. I find that I can be friends with someone who supports different political opinions and religious beliefs quite easily, but I honestly find it more difficult, or in fact I simply don’t find it appealing to try to maintain a friendship with someone who regularly makes racist comments or who thinks it’s okay to cheat on their spouse, for example. In one instance even though I’ve known the person for a long time. So I would not say true friendship is unconditional nor is it particularly easy to find or maintain inside or outside JWs.

stan livedeath

blondie13 hours ago

During the push to make converts pre-1975, jws were told to drop a bible student that did make progress in 6 months,

thats right--i remember that from my pioneering days.

Vanderhoven7

Belated welcome to the Forum Fallen-Winter!! I'm glad you found our diverse group for information and support.

Loss of a Jehovah’s Witness who I considered a friend

blondie13 hours ago

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