That statement isn't true at all. I know many JW's, I grew up with them. They may have strong beliefs about blood, etc, but they do care
for their kids. As a matter of fact, my mothers been one for 21 years and yes she feels the same way about blood. If you haven't talked to a JW or haven't been around any, you can't make that comment. My husbands Aunt on his fathers side is a JW and their family grew up in church, she feels the same way on blood and she loves and is devoted to her family. Please don't talk of what you don't know. That's just
like saying any one who goes to church or isn't apart of any religion and dislike JW but still are against blood transfusions don't love their kids and are bad parents. You could have many angry people who respond to you and they may not respond as nice.
against blood transfusions
Adoption by Jehovah's Witnesses is blocked
by expatbrit 72 Replies latest jw friends
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kenyata
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bijou
Kenyata,
The woman I studied with, once told me that if her daughter ever left the witnesses, she, her husband and their other children would have nothing to do with her. At the time, she was trying to explain to me how effective shunning was for shaking up wayward witnesses.
If I were giving up a child for adoption, presumably so that the child could have a better life, why should I ever even consider placing that child with a JW family if I knew that they would be ostracized if they did not accept their parents' religion?
Put yourself in the postion of someone who knows little about JWs except that they will threaten to disfellowship and shun anyone not accepting their practices (and JW children grow up knowing what is in store for them if they leave). You may see it as a loving provision, but to those of us who have truly been loved and loved unconditionally by our parents, the practice is nothing short of emotional abuse.
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nelly136
I used to know many jws, I grew up with them, I used to have a family.
'We'd love to talk to you but you know the rules, and its a shame you chose to die'
I thought I was loved and cherished too, hey guess what, it lasted till I didnt want to be a jw any more, it was all conditional
on being a jw, I'm talking about jws specifically not any other religions I'm just going on my own experiences, the experiences of people I know personally and people I've met on different help/support groups who have been through the same as me.
If jws care so much about their families as you say how come the throwaways like myself are all over the internet? discarded parents kids grandparents aunts uncles cut off from contact with their families?
If your experiences have been different to mine thats ok too because I wouldnt wish being walking dead to your family on anyone,
nelly -
kenyata
There may have been something else behind that because yes if a friend
is disfellowshiped or is disassociated, the witnesses are not supposed to associate with them cause then what ever way they aren't living correctly, people may start to assume that you live the same way. As far as a family member goes, its the same thing. But the witnesses know that family will stick together and help each other out if need be. Did you ask further questions or did you leave it at that? My parents have always been unconditional. My moms a JW, not my dad and they raised us the same way. My dad doesn't do the birthdays, holidays or the blood thing either, he was raised in church and he isn't any religion. Different homes have many things going on that you don't know about so there maybe have been something more to that, that meets the eye. Cause I know JW's aren't callous like that towards their family unless there's something more. I am not a JW and my mother treats me the same, she does for me and we get along just fine. Sometimes people take things too far and over due things but just because that kid or kids don't become Witnesses like that parent or parents, the parents don't treat their kids like outsiders unless theres something else going on. -
kenyata
To Nelly136,
I don't know what's going on with your family cause the JW's I know and grew up with would never turn their kids away unless there was something more going on. The JW's I know are careing, loving, unconditional loving parents. My mother is the only JW on my mom's side that I know of. I have an older brother and 2 younger sisters and even though we're not JW's nor are we studying to be, we don't get shunned like that.
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kenyata
To Bijou,
To answer your question, yes I'd question it and them. If you decide for what ever reason to give your kid(s)away, it shoudn't matter what religion they are in as long as the home and parent(s) are stable, loving, will accept the kid(s) regardless to what religion or background they came from. Don't get me wrong, I know a single widowed JW female who took in foster kids and adoped kids. These kids didn't come from JW homes and she still provided a home for them. And by the way, these kids were in age range 10-16 years of age when she brought them into her home. Yes she introduced them to the religion, they attended the meetings and assembly's but she also assured them that even if they chose not to be witnesses or even study, she wouldn't treat them any different and doesn't. She loves them uncondionally and she treats them like their her blood, not like there were adopted or abandoned. Yes, JW set a high standard of living, just like anyone should but I've never come across any JW who shunned their own family just because they chose not to be a JW, if they do, there's something very deep going on that nobody knows about.
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Billygoat
Kenyata,
I think it's great that you're sharing your experiences here on this board. Welcome! Please know though...the majority of the people on this board have been shunned in some form or another from their family that are JW. I am one of them! Yes, in most instances there are details not everyone knows about as you mentioned. But please remember THAT when others are explaining their experiences. They have details that you don't necessarily have. And there are too many stories on this board that parallel each other.
(QUOTE):Cause I know JW's aren't callous like that towards their family unless there's something more.(/QUOTE)
Where in the Bible does it say it's okay to be callous? The Bible does NOT say to shun family and friends when they have strayed from the course of God's desires. We have a brotherly obligation to help lead them BACK to a life that is righteous. Where is the love in shunning?
When Jesus was on earth, he did not shun sinners. He actually embraced the sinners and those considered "dregs" of society. Prostitutes, tax collectors, lepers. Even he said in Matthew 9:12 that he was there to heal those that were sick. He did not come for the healthy.
If we are to shun those that are no longer "Christians" then how do you explain King David continuing his reign after committing adultery with Bathsheba? Yes, he was disciplined severely, but he was STILL God's anointed King.
Shunning does nothing but split families apart and cause heartache. I am thankful that your mother doesn't do that to you. But remember, if one is not baptized in to the JW life, then rules are different. Not once in your post did you say what the Bible teaches or what God wants. You only say what JWs do or what the organization does. There is a big difference.
Billygoat
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SixofNine
Kenyata, you keep saying "unless there is something more going on".
The problem is (and surely you are intelligent enough to realize this), that, "something more" can be just about anything the parents happen to be influenced into believing by the elders, or their puppeteers in Brooklyn. While the parents may indeed believe that their child's choices or actions are wrong, it is only a sick, perverse outside influence that motivates parents to shun their children, in some cases even considering them "as good as dead".
The child may make any number of different life choices, and the parents, following the lead of men, may cut them off. In fact, most likely will.
Rediculous and inhumane, but that is your religion for you. Don't tell me otherwise, because you will be lying. I was part of it for 37 years. Besides, I have the words of Gods own channel of communication with humans, the F&DS, to back me up.
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AlanF
You have no idea what you're talking about, kenyata. Your mom might be liberal, but that's not according to the spirit of the JW organization. My wife and her younger sister quit the JWs 15-20 years ago, and their older sister and younger brother (still strong JWs) have shunned them for 10 years simply because they quietly left. That is the spirit of the JW organization.
AlanF
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waiting
Howdy,
I'm entering this discussion late, but have two relevant family histories.
1. Brother-in-law elder & pioneer wife provided good home for young girl who was 12 for two years. Taken to all the meetings, etc. The girl decided she did not want to be a jw, but wished to stay with them.
The jw's sent her back to the State as they didn't want her to corrupt their other child. The wife told me this.
They took in another foster child and after 4 years of fighting the State, adopted her. The birth mother birthed this baby girl while on heroin - baby was born addicted. The jw's are good parents to her.
They shun their older son who was df'd as a teenager (going on 12 years of strict shunning.) There is no reason to believe they would treat their adoptive child any differently than their own son. If that adopted girl was df'd, I firmly believe they'd shun her as strictly as their natural son.
2. My husband's cousin, foster parents (both jw's) raised girl from age 5-12. Had 3-4 other foster children also. All children were all compelled to be regular meeting attenders & field service. This particular girl at age 13, told them she didn't want to be a jw. They sent her packing for the same reason as other jw foster parents. The foster mother told me this. "If she won't worship Jehovah, she can't stay in our house." This girl was an intelligent, fiesty, beautiful redhead.
I don't think it's fair to take in a foster child only if that child agrees to all facets of jw life. It's a strict life, and the child is allowed no religious freedom. At least in these two instances, if the child decides not to be a jw - they are dismissed from the only home they know. Both older girls were removed from their natural homes because the fathers repeatedly raped them.
Does anyone actually know the State Laws for Foster Parents? Can they legally withhold life-saving (trauma induced) blood transfusions for a child temporarily in their care?
I would assume that adoptive parents are given that right under religious freedom.
waiting