Adoption by Jehovah's Witnesses is blocked

by expatbrit 72 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  tergiversator

  Hi kenyata,

  Thanks for clearing up a little bit about where you're coming from. It sounds like you have good parents. I'm also guessing you never got baptized? I have a wonderful mom who is also a witness (my dad - divorced - left after being in very briefly), but because I got baptized myself when I was 13 and left at 17, she now drastically curtails the time she spends with me. I live 2 hours away and yet I only see her once or twice a year, in passing, for a few hours (and no meals). And in my family, religion is the ONLY problem. There's no issues of not "living correctly" to complicate the matter; the only thing I've done wrong, in her viewpoint, is questioning witness doctrine.

  So... I know that most witnesses love their children, and many would make fine adoptive parents. Some even manage to show unconditional love to their children in spite of being told that leaving the organzation means they should be virtually cut off. But they're not the norm! The religion clearly teaches that children who get baptized and then leave must be shunned, whether or not it's for "unclean living" or for simply disagreeing with some or all of what the organization teaches.

  That's just wrong. They hurt far too many children who are born to witness parents. I don't see why they should get a chance to hurt any more.

  -T.
• 

  kenyata

  To Billygoat,

  Yes your correct as far as not shunning people who have done extreamly bad things and they would get shunned or cut lose for a while but it takes time for different people to deal with what ever hurt or pain that a family member may cause. It may be so bad that after a while, they acknowledge that they are family and they love them but things won't be the same. They are some things that people do where you feel like that, we're all imperfect. Jesus was perfect so imperfect people are going to take time to cool themselves off and get things back on track. And yes, since I'm new, they may know things about the situation that I don't. We have that obligation to help family out and sometimes the family could be so out there that you can't help them, you got to let them go. Sometimes people get mixed up in things that they chose not to get out of and you can't help them unless you put your life in some kind of danger. Jesus was perfect and he was sent on earth to do a job so comparing a perfect person with non perfect people isn't a good example, though I do understand what your saying. And as for your example about King David, yes he was punished but he also repented and if God felt that he was sorry and repented enough, then yes, he was going to give them that standing. Even though I don't mention per say what God wants, JW try to the best of there ability to practice God's teachings and let people know who he is and what he says their purpose is. And in the bible it does say, J's people have the responsibility to preach his word. They might get doors slammed in their faces but he tells to do keep on spreading his good news.
• 

  bijou

  Kenyata, thank you for replying.

  You said:

  yes if a friend
  is disfellowshiped or is disassociated, the witnesses are not supposed to associate with them cause then what ever
  way they aren't living correctly

  To a JW, what is considered to be not "living corrctly"? A person could be shunned for simply choosing not to attend meetings. That could be "not living correctly" to a JW, couldn't?

  You also said:

  if they do, there's something very deep going
  on that nobody knows about.

  That's a very convenient response. I could keep coming up with anecdotal evidence that witnesses do indeed shun those that decide not to be JWs and you will answer by saying "then there is something deeper".
• 

  waiting

  Hi Kenyata,

  but I've never come across any JW who shunned their own family just because they chose not to be a JW, if they do, there's something very deep going on that nobody knows about.

  Some people just don't want to be a member of the Jehovah's Witnesses Religious group anymore, but have committed no serious biblical sin. If they make this known, particularily in writing - it's called disassociating oneself. When one is disassociated - they are completely shunned by jw family, friends & congregation. That is at the heart of the WTBTS doctrine of disassociation.

  but I've never come across any JW who shunned their own family just because they chose not to be a JW, if they do, there's something very deep going on that nobody knows about.

  Just because you've not come across it - doesn't mean it doesn't happen. We have a Hello? Hello? thread going on with 10 pages of experiences of new persons on this forum - and a brief description of their experience while a jw. Please browse over there for a while?

  About 3 posts up, I gave two pertinent experiences that I have first hand knowledge of where families have turned young rape victims back to the State because the girls would not go to jw meetings. Each mother told me that was the only reason - they were afraid that the girls would be a bad example for their own child in staying within the WTBTS organization.

  there's something very deep going on that nobody knows about. That statement is a cop-out. There's no way to prove or disprove it, just sheer speculation, without merit in a discussion. It is only your private opinion for things you do not, and cannot, know about as to happening or not happening in someone else's life.

  I'm sorry to sound blunt, but when I first came onto a discussion board - I didn't know how to discuss. As jw's, we're taught to present the Good News as told by the WTBTS and their books/mags. We talk to people, in general, who have very little knowledge of the Bible, some - have very little knowledge at all. But, at least myself, was also taught not to get into discussions (particularily lengthy) with other persons.

  By not doing that, we have a hard time developing reasonable & logical methods of discussion. I've learned a lot (and still much to learn) since being on the web - hope you stick around. So much knowledge to be learned.

  Welcome.

  waiting
• 

  nelly136

  something deeper going on?
  I'm dfd, it was for fornication,it was my ticket out because asking to leave quietly was non negotiable. I turned myself in because I felt it was hypocritical to knock on doors and say one thing then go out and do something else, I married him but had no desire to return, that was aprox 17 years ago.
  I was third generation jw born in, both my parents were jws, I didnt have the advantage of one of my parents being a non believer to take the edge off.
  I didnt want to return to something I'd had no choice in being in the first place, there was nothing else, nothing deeper going on.
  My family life depended on me being a door to door salesperson of magazines for a publishing company,
  I'm not moaning about it just telling ya the way it was, I've never regretted it, and if I had to do it all again I would,
  nice to meet you by the way, I think we skipped the introductions bit lol
  I admire your spirit sticking up for something you believe in, even if it does give me the shivers when I remember I used to sound just like you once right down to the terminology(buzz words loaded speech etc), and if its any consolation when I was little and my auntie was dfd I wasnt allowed to talk to her but that was cool cos thats the way it was meant to be.
  Losing her whole family soon got her arse in gear to get reinstated,
  nelly
• 

  bijou

  I admire your spirit sticking up for something you believe in,

  Nelly, that's odd. I was just thnking that the JWs over here have the guts to stand up for their religious policies. Not one of them ever once tried to tell me that shunning didn't exist or that it was because of something deeper.

  They saw it clearly in the bible and they followed it. They tried to back it up with scriptures. Kenyata, on the other hand, seems to know that it is wrong and is therefore trying to say that it doesn't happen. I see kenyata as ashamed of his/her religion.

  I'm just editing this to add, that I really haven't conversed with a JW regarding shunning in about 4 years and back then they proudly defended shunning. Kenyata's response is in keeping with the recent Wt org PR claim that JWs don't shun those that 'cease to be involved". The brainwashing is amazing.-- just 4 years ago it was defended, now it is denied. Is it group amnesia? It wouldn't be the first time.
• 

  Agape

  Dear Kenyata,

  Did you say that your mother AND you are JWs, or just your mother?

  Agape
• 

  kenyata

  To Agape,

  As I stated in an earlier post, my mom's a JW, not I. I just grew up with them.
• 

  Agape

  Kenyata, why are you not a JW? Why is it that you sometimes do not correct people who write to you assuming that you are a Witness? I remembered from a previous post of yours that you said that only your mother was a JW, but I did not want to wade thru all three pages on this topic.

  Why all this fuss on your part to defend something that you are not? If it is all so good, why are you not joining them? Put differently, WHAT IF ANYTHING DO YOU NOT LIKE ABOUT THIS CULT? Out of politeness you have been let off easy by most responses you have gotten. Now that the pleasantries have been administered, can you tell us the rest of the story?

  Look forward to hearing from you.

  AGAPE
• 

  kenyata

  To Agape,

  First off, JW aren't a cult. Next, as I got older, I started getting into other things. I chose to venture out and try new things. I knew there were things I wanted to try that they wouldn't appove of. Don't get me wrong, I'm not into drugs or anything like that, I mean drinking, I've tried a few concoctions, I wasn't ready to be in a religion that was so serious and whose standards were and are high. I knew that most likely I wouldn't wait til I was married to have sex and I didn't. My husband and I have been together for years and I knew what I wasn't ready for. Our oldest kid is 6 and we just got married last year. I can defend them the way I do because I don't personally know any JW's that have shunned their kids and family just because they didn't want to be a JW or study. Where are you from? Any Witnesses that I do know who's kids or families didn't want to study or be W's weren't shunned at all. They still help their families out. I've never led any one on to believe I was a JW, I stated a few responses back that I wasn't one. I kept saying that my mother was one, I never said I was. In between switching halls through the years while growing up and meeting new JW's, I've met 100's of W's and none of them are like the W's you've described.