WATCHTOWER WORDS

by minimus 34 Replies latest jw friends

caspian

Most people think that Remnant is a bit of cloth left over
run dont walk

spiritual food
WTF is that supposed to mean ???
caspian

Found this site and....................
This is just the letter A.
accounts
{Congregation} financial record of {contributions} and expenditures. <<It was as if Satan said to Jehovah, ``Give the accounts to Charlie and see whether he will not curse you to your very face!'' [20] >>
[20] Caring for the accounts is a difficult, tedious, and low-profile job.
accounts report
During the {Service Meeting} introduction once each month, someone, usually the accounts servant, presents a summary of the congregation's local financial status, including a report on any audit. It is rare for there to be any discussion of money matters at congregation meetings at any other time. (See {sermon on the amount}.)
accounts servant
The brother who cares for congregation {accounts}, usually a {ministerial servant}.
accurate knowledge
Knowledge that is exact or full. A single-word Greek expression with a prefix meaning ``additional'' is translated 24 times in the New World Translation as ``accurate knowledge'' or ``accurately know''. To some persons the modifier accurate might seem unnecessary, for it seems as though knowledge that is not accurate is not real knowledge at all. But nobody knows everything about anything. And some people become knowledgeable experts in things that aren't true, e.g., evolution or Bible criticism.
NOTE: Gaining accurate knowledge of God's will is indisputably important. (Joh 17:3) However, as Paul reminded the Corinthians, we know the truth only partially, both as individuals and organizationally. (1Co 8:2; 13:9, 12) Yet some persons attempt to represent themselves as having knowledge greater than the accumulated wisdom of Jesus' {faithful and discreet slave}, often demonstrating themselves to be more concerned with impressing others than they are about Jehovah, Jesus, the brotherhood, or truth. (1Ti 6:20, 21; 1Co 8:1; 13:2) Jehovah's Witnesses as an organization today have God's spirit to teach them the truth, (Joh 14:26) and are teaching it to people. Adjustments, when needed, are shared by everyone at approximately the same time, and in that way the entire organization grows together, while maintaining a united front toward those on the outside. (Pro 4:18; Eph 4:11-16) Regardless of how ``right'' some self-proclaimed intellect may be about some minor point, there is no room in Jehovah's organization for those who {push ahead}. It is far more important to maintain unity and love within the congregation. (1Co 13:8, 13)
acronym
A word formed from the initial letter or letters of parts of a compound term. An acronym is pronounced as a word rather than as spelled out letters. In the computer world acronym is often used instead of the more correct term abbreviation to mean a term made up of the first letters of an expression, and pronounced as though being spelled. This constitutes an incorrect use of the word acronym. <<{MEPS} is a true acronym. {SAD}, though it could be spoken as a word, is spelled out, and so is an abbreviation.>> See the section entitled AMOOFLs, a term invented for and used throughout this Glossary, for a more detailed explanation.
active publisher
Any {publisher} who has reported field activity at least one month in the past six is considered active. (Compare {regular publisher} and {inactive publisher}.)
adultery
A form of {fornication} wherein at least one of the persons involved is married to someone else. (Mat 5:32) <<When his wife committed adultery, he became {scripturally free} to divorce her and remarry, but he chose to forgive her.>>
Advance Medical Directive
A legal medical document all of {Jehovah's Witnesses} are strongly urged to carry on their person at all times in case of a medical emergency, directing that blood not be administered as medical treatment. It was formerly and is still sometimes incorrectly referred to as the ``blood card'', or the ``no blood card'', because the front of it says NO BLOOD in large letters. A letter from the Society came with the 1995 set of cards advising us to use the term ``Advance Medical Directive'/ instead. In the May 1995 {OKM} it is written as Advance Medical Directive/Release. The next-to-last paragraph releases medical personnel from liability for damages caused by our refusal to take blood.
NOTE: This card must be signed, witnessed, and dated to be legally binding. At the assemblies in 1993, where the card was used as ID, it was discovered that about 50 percent of the cards presented were not signed. One wonders how many more persons did not have cards at all. Do you have yours? Is it signed?
advertise
To make something known publicly. In preaching the {good news} Christians are really advertising the facts about God's Kingdom. The most famous example of the use of the word among Jehovah's Witnesses is quoted many times in our literature. <<In 1922, when some 10,000 met in Cedar Point, Ohio, U.S.A., the {delegates} were inspired by the speaker's encouragement: ``This is the day of all days. Behold, the King reigns! You are his publicity agents. Therefore advertise, advertise, advertise, the King and his kingdom.''>> [w95 8/1 19]
a.ga'pe
Transliteration of the Greek word for the highest form of love, i.e., self-sacrificing love based on principle. Witnesses use it frequently in the complimentary close of a letter, including in informal electronic communications. Whereas many persons might feel awkward in some situations about signing a letter with ``Love'', all Witnesses understand agape to mean the kind of love that one should express toward all fellow human beings. It is a word free from implied overfamiliarity or sexual overtones.
aged
The current politically correct euphemism for ``old''. (See the article in [g95 6/22 14-16] entitled ``What Does It Mean to Be Aged?'') Sometimes the word is pronounced as two syllables, i.e., as ag`ed. (See {-ed}.) <<Some aged elders still contribute significantly to the work of caring for the congregation spiritually by offering wise advice based on many years of experience.>>
agenda
A list of items to discuss or perform; a program. <<{Presiding overseers} are encouraged to prepare and circulate an agenda for quarterly elders' meetings well ahead of time so that every elder may prepare in advance and so that the meeting may proceed in an orderly manner.>>
agnostic
One who is unsure about the existence of God, arguing that the answer to the question is unknowable. This is much different from being an {atheist}, because it is sometimes possible to reason with a true agnostic, ultimately influencing him to accept the truth about God's existence. [21]
[21] Upon which he is no longer an agnostic, though not necessarily a {believer} .
alcohol
The Bible recommends the moderate and controlled enjoyment of alcoholic drinks [22] (Ecc 3:13; Ecc 9:7; Psa 104:15; 1Ti 5:23), while strongly condemning drunkenness. (1Co 5:11; 6:9, 10) This {balanced} view of one of God's provisions contrasts with the black and white approach of some religions that go beyond the teaching of God's word and completely proscribe the drinking of alcohol. 1 Timothy 4:1-3 associates such restrictions with the ``teachings of demons''. Would Jesus have turned water into wine at a marriage feast if God disapproved of drinking it? (Joh 2:1-10) Interestingly, recent scientific research confirms that persons who regularly drink alcohol in reasonable quantities seem to enjoy better health than complete teetotalers. <<I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy. [23] >> Of course, persons who have a problem with controlling alcohol should learn to do without. Also, in most places in the USA, the sale and consumption of alcohol is regulated by {Caesar}. Loyal Christians respect and observe these stipulations. <<May he kiss me with the kisses of his mouth, for your expressions of endearment are better than wine.>> (Son 1:2) Sometimes a little wine can help things along a bit, though.
[22] And lately so does the US government.
[23] If you don't get the joke, read it out loud. If you still don't get it, try it again after having a couple of drinks and it will seem much funnier.
aliteracy
The quality or state of being able to read but being uninterested in doing so. Reading ability is not always matched by reading desire. Aliterate people are sometimes quite intelligent and well-educated, but allow almost any other activity to displace reading from their lives. They use many excuses, such as being too tired, or that reading is too much work. Television viewing is the most common substitute. (See the article ``Guard Against Aliteracy'' in [g96 1/22 21-23]; also, compare {militantly ignorant}.)
AMOOFL
A self-referential {neologism} meaning ``abbreviation (or acronym) made out of first letters''. I use this term throughout this Glossary . The story behind it is complicated enough that I have devoted a whole section to it in the introductory text. See the section entitled AMOOFLs. Also, compare {abbreviation} and {acronym}. <<Today the {CO} and {PO} got together to draft a letter to the {WTB&TS}.>>
announcements
Usually the first part on the {Service Meeting}, normally devoted to publicizing schedules and matters of local concern. The word is used both for individual items and for that part on the Service Meeting as a whole. <<We better make sure that point makes announcements this week.>>
STORY: {Disfellowshipping} notices are always read by an {elder} as part of the Service Meeting announcements. One night a brother in our area had to read one such notice, and also a more mundane announcement. Somehow he got the names confused, and for ten horrible seconds, until the brother realized his mistake, while she and her unsuspecting family and close friends were all having strokes and falling in the aisles, some poor sister was accidentally disfellowshipped. :-(
anointed, spirit-anointed
Having God's spirit of adoption as a {spiritual Israelite}, and the hope of eventual heavenly life. (Compare {spirit-begotten}.) The term is sometimes applied to all the {remnant} as a whole. <<He has been receiving assignments normally given to the anointed.>>
antediluvian
1. Relating to the period before the {Deluge} (Flood) of Noah's day. 2. As a noun it refers to persons living before the Deluge. [w93 11/15 13] This must be some Watchtower editor's favorite big word, because it appears in nearly every Watchtower that deals with the Deluge, and is rarely seen anywhere else. (By me.) <<The Nephilim were giant antediluvian bullies who roamed the earth perpetrating violence until they were destroyed by the Deluge.>>
antitype
See {type}.
apostate, apostasy
One who has rebelled against and abandoned the {true worship} of Jehovah. Sometimes apostates actively oppose true worship and attempt to influence others to do the same. <<Some apostates were trying to hand out leaflets at our {convention} last week.>> An act or particular case of apostate behavior is called apostasy. (2Th 2:3)
NOTE: Apostates are persons who were once among us, walking in the Truth, not merely outsiders who oppose it. They usually know our beliefs, terminology, and organizational ways quite well.
Apostates tend to seek out unwary Witnesses and engage them in dialogue. Often they were once fine people with an extensive {Truth} background. But they tend to be proud of their independent intellectual accomplishments. <<Based on several years of deep research, careful study, and profound meditation I have concluded blah blah blah ...>> They will claim support for their ideas from others who are supposedly pillars in the Truth. <<I know numerous people, including elders, who agree with me that blah blah blah ...>> They will flatter the listener while speaking condescendingly of Witnesses in general. <<I realize that most Witnesses wouldn't understand; but I realize that you are by no means average, but are truly open-minded.>> The speaker condescendingly suggests that most Witnesses are simple, unpretentious, and unsophisticated, but is implying that for the most part we are a bunch of dopes.
Willing association with true apostates, whether in person, by reading their literature, or engaging in electronic debate across the Internet, is itself apostate behavior, and therefore potentially a {disfellowshipping offense}, in addition to being extremely dangerous and outright stupid. It should be avoided entirely.
appeal, appeal committee
When a person is {disfellowshipped} and believes that a serious error in judgment has been made by a {judicial committee}, he may appeal the decision within seven days, in which event the case will be reheard. The ``appeal committee'' is the group of {elders} {appointed}, usually by the {circuit overseer}, to conduct the appeal process.
applause
Approval expressed by clapping the hands. People accustomed to the sanctimonious solemnity of a staid church may be surprised to observe that we occasionally applaud at our meetings. It is customary to applaud at the conclusion of the {public talk}, following assembly parts, at the end of the session for each day at conventions and assemblies, after a student's {first talk} in the {Theocratic Ministry School}, following high points in mid-talk at {district conventions}, especially when {resolutions} are being read, when announcing the appointment of pioneers and servants, when acknowledging or passing {love and greetings} to another congregation, and at other times as invited by a speaker.
NOTE: It is not considered appropriate to applaud when an announcement of {reinstatement} is read. Although we rejoice when persons who have been put out of the congregation come to their senses, show repentance, and are restored, they are at that moment weak spiritually, and in need of love and encouragement, but not congratulations, as though they had accomplished something worthy of acclaim. [24]
[24] The only place where this point appears in print is in an outline that was used by circuit overseers a few years ago.
application
The putting to use of {knowledge} and {understanding} so as to follow a course of {wisdom}. <<Some couples with problems study the Bible and their marriage improves, but others in the {Truth} all their lives fail and get divorced. What is the difference? Application! The solution? Read the Bible. Do what it says. [25] >>
[25] A near verbatim quote from the district overseer at a recent circuit assembly.
apply the merit
Literally to take advantage of the benefit of something. The phrase is most often used in connection with the ransom sacrifice of Jesus. <<By applying the merit of Christ's ransom sacrifice, God was able to declare righteous a large family of spiritual sons.>>
appointed elder
See {unappointed elder}.
appointment
1. The scriptural method of assigning privileges of service. (Act 20:28) {Elders}, {ministerial servants}, and regular and special {pioneers} are all appointed by the {Society}. 2. The designation of responsibility itself. <<Sister Hiker's pioneer appointment arrived from the Society.>>
appreciate
To evaluate the worth of something. We may learn that something is true, and also perceive its relation to other matters. Appreciation is a more profound level of learning that affects the heart. It involves recognizing the significance or benefit of something with a heightened awareness. <<One who knows the Truth can teach the Scriptures, but one who appreciates it lives the Scriptures.>> Appreciation comes in many flavors besides plain vanilla. We have great appreciation, deep appreciation, {keen appreciation}, heartfelt appreciation, warm appreciation, fine appreciation, enhanced appreciation, genuine appreciation, increased appreciation, ever-growing appreciation, deep-hearted appreciation, outstanding appreciation, heightened appreciation, full appreciation, overwhelming appreciation, and {no doubt} others as well.
Jehovah's Witnesses seem to have an infatuation for this word, so much so that it stands in danger of being killed from overwork. One elder wrote to tell me: <<I once visited an {inactive} brother who received me with the words, ``Brother, you are certainly welcome to come in and visit with me. All I ask is that you not use the word appreciate. That word is so overused by most brothers I can't bear to hear it anymore.''>> (Compare {helps us to appreciate}.)
archaic, archaisms
Characteristic of language of the past. Christians are encouraged to use modern language. {Babylon} frequently uses old-fashioned or obsolete expressions. Some of them are discussed under {common archaisms}. Some headwords adjudged as {fuddy-duddy} expressions are archaisms.
STORY: We had a Service Meeting part in the early 1970s that discouraged the use of archaisms. The brother who was the source of the examples under {pronunciation} presented the part, [26] and in the course of it said, as phonetically transcribed: <<We don' wanna be speakin' no arcake er nuffin'.>>
[26] Natch.
ark
1. An ark is a box or chest. The two well-known Bible examples are the one that Noah built for the saving of a remnant of human and animal life from the {Deluge} (Gen 6:14), and the ark that was placed in the most holy of the tabernacle and later in the temple in Jerusalem. (Exo 25:10) 2. The ark of Noah's day has been shown to be prophetic of all of Jehovah's arrangements for mankind's survival through the end of this system of things. Thus new ones coming into the {Truth} are sometimes said to be entering that ark. <<We would like to welcome all 100 persons who entered the grand ark of Jehovah's salvation when they were baptized this morning.>>
Armageddon
Anglicized version of the transliterated Hebrew word {Har-Mageddon}, God's great final war. (Rev 16:16) Although {NW} uses the {transliteration}, the {Society}'s publications in English more commonly use the term Armageddon. <<Many uninformed persons mistakenly believe that Armageddon will be a global nuclear holocaust that will indiscriminately kill everyone on the planet.>>
around the Truth
In the vicinity and likeness of {Jehovah's people} without being fully committed to their way of life. The speaker is usually expressing a contrasting distinction from being {in the Truth}. The Truth has great intrinsic appeal to persons, but living it as a disciple brings great responsibilities. People manifest varying amounts of willingness to follow through on what they learn as a result of their study of God's word. Nearly every congregation has associates who participate less than completely in its activities, but who continue to live on its fringes, though calling themselves and being regarded by others as Jehovah's Witnesses. Some such are even baptized and dedicated; others remain permanently {interested persons}. <<Brother Hurdlehopper was raised around the Truth; his father was disfellowshipped when he was five, and his mother became inactive shortly thereafter, though she continued to attend the {Sunday meeting} now and then.>> (Compare {Jehovah's Bystander}, {marginal Witness}, and {submarine Witness}.)
arrangement
An order, system, or structure of things. Because {Jehovah's people} are highly organized, we have many systems worked out to implement work that needs doing efficiently. Therefore, we speak of the {elder arrangement}, the {donation arrangement}, the {hospitality arrangement}, and others that are fabricated as needed. <<Brother Flush will now explain the Port-a-John arrangement for next weekend's {quick build}.>>
art, arts
In American English, art in the default sense usually refers to the traditional visual arts, i.e., painting, sculpture and the like. <<I was an art major in college. [27] >> In other contexts, it refers to creativity, aesthetic beauty, and skill as applied to most any pursuit. The {New World Translation} calls teaching an art at 2 Timothy 4:2. <<Brother Hugs is a master at the art of encouraging conversation.>> The arts (plural) is an all-encompassing word referring to what is sometimes called the fine arts, namely music, literature, dance, theater, etc., in addition to the visual arts. Most of Jehovah's Witnesses seem to have even less serious interest in the arts than most people in the world. <<You call that art!?>> It may be to some that in these {last days} other things are necessarily more important, that pleasures like delving into a good book or cultivating a creative skill are luxuries in the same realm of importance as {recreation}, and that the resources available for such activities are extremely limited. Of course, the average American still watches about seven hours of television a day.
[27] The speaker learned how to draw pictures of naked people.
article
A section of a {magazine}; everything beneath a single main title. We tend to focus magazine presentations around a particular article, or series of articles in a magazine, usually the featured cover story, rather than just attempting to place the whole magazine on the basis of the publication's name recognition. <<Today we were showing your neighbors this article in The Watchtower about better world conditions.>>
as it were
Seemingly. Used with a statement that might appear unlikely to show that it is not meant literally. <<He knew the material for his talk so well he caught fire, as it were, when he presented it. [28] >> This is one of those idioms that is best used sparingly. Nevertheless, it is a favorite of Society editors; I was able to find it 356 times in my online literature collection.
[28] A circuit overseer once said ``Put fire in your talk, or put your talk in the fire.'' As it were.
ASCII, ASCII file
AMOOFL for ``American Standard Code for Information Interchange'', pronounced ASS-kee. It refers to the commonest way of encoding standard characters, i.e., letters, numbers, punctuation marks and special characters, on computers. The word is used often by hackers, so I have included it in the Glossary. An ASCII file is a file that is made up entirely of characters from the ASCII set. On most computers, ASCII file means the same as text file. When using software options to read or write text files, it means files that do not include the byte combinations that represent application-specific formatting or control sequences. <<The plain version of the Glossary is an ASCII document that may be read with an editor or pager.>>
assembly
A gathering of God's people. Although any prearranged meeting of several people is a form of assembly, the term is normally applied to larger meetings. When used without a modifier it usually refers to a {circuit assembly} rather than a {district convention}. <<Our assembly is scheduled for next month, and just two weeks later we have the district convention.>>
NOTE: There has been some flip-flopping over the years over whether our large summer festivals are called assemblies or conventions. The Society originally called them all assemblies until the war years, when assembling was declared against the law in the USA. The Society wanted to have a big assembly, but because it was during the war they were not allowed to do it. The only way to have one was to call it a convention, because conventions were not against the law. The name convention has applied to big assemblies ever since. <<A rose is a rose is a rose is a rose.>> The precise term used makes little difference. The usage explained in this Glossary is current as of 1997 to the best of my knowledge.
assembly food [obs]
The announcement that there will no longer be food at assemblies and conventions in the USA was barely a week old when I last revised this entry. [29] (See {simplified convention food service}.) In past times the food provided at assemblies varied with the locale and the time. Years ago we had large kitchens and served tens of thousands of complete hot meals, morning, noon, and night. Times changed, and the Society moved toward simplification in all its pursuits in order to reduce costs and impose less burden and expense on brothers. Recently, early morning fare usually included coffee, orange juice, fruit and pastries. Noon meals were soft drinks, sandwiches, chips, and more fruit. To persons who wailed ``But we are mortal!'' I respond that no one was forced to eat too much of it, or any of it at all. [30] The Israelites griped about the manna, too. (Num 11:6) And we all know what happened to them. <<Man must not live by assembly food alone! [31] >>
[29] February 1995.
[30] Urp.
[31] Either kind!
Assembly Hall
A building owned, operated, and usually built by Jehovah's Witnesses for the purpose of holding {circuit assemblies} and other large gatherings.
assembly rats
Persons who relish {assemblies} with a fervor similar to some in {Christendom} who wish that every day was Christmas. It is an important part of our culture to attach a high value to the assemblies. Many rank them just barely below the {Memorial} in importance of obligation to attend. Persons who have never missed a single session in many years in the Truth are quite common. Therefore, in addition to their spiritual benefits, assemblies provide the greatest social events of the year for Jehovah's Witnesses. Some consider it a sign of great status to have assembly responsibilities, particularly talks. (Should they think this way?) Young people use the assemblies for networking, often cruising for potential marriage mates. The assembly rats are ones who wait outside the doors at 6:30 AM, an hour before the gates open, even though they have no work assignments, armed with coolers, bags, blankets, and a thick stack of old magazines. Guess what they are planning on doing with them? [32] <<Get to your posts, brothers, here come the assembly rats!>>
[32] Not catching up on their reading. The issue of saving seats unnecessarily at assemblies has been a persistent problem that has been discussed at Service Meetings before assemblies for many years. (1Co 10:24; 1Co 13:5; Phi 2:3)
assembly speaker
A brother who receives frequent speaking assignments at assemblies and conventions. It has been observed that for an organization blessed with an abundance of consistently excellent speakers, relatively few brothers seem always to get these assignments. Is it therefore true that in Jehovah's organization getting certain assignments depends in some measure on who you know? To some it might seem that way. The brothers who make these choices are expected to enlist the best speakers they can find, but cannot possibly be expected to know everyone. According to the instructions given to those entrusted with finding speakers, talk assignments are given to brothers on the basis of their speaking ability and the good example they set in taking the lead in {field service}. Does it matter if it seems sometimes as though the guidelines are imperfectly applied? No it does not. Brothers who waste their time and energy thinking to themselves ``I could do just as well'' are just stroking their own egos.
Often assembly speakers speak quite differently in their home congregations than they do at conventions. The Society sends out strict instructions about how talks should be presented at assemblies. When followed, presentations at assemblies are generally of uniformly high quality. Unfortunately, it can result in a soporific sameness. Not every brother can do it well. Not every brother wants to learn to speak like an assembly speaker, including some who are highly skilled at platform teaching.
assignment slip
Short name for the Theocratic Ministry School Assignment slip, form S-89, given in advance to {School} students to notify them of upcoming talks. <<Always remember to give your assignment slip to the school overseer before the meeting when you are giving a talk.>>
associate, association
As a verb associate means to keep company. As a noun it refers to those with whom company is kept, and is closely related to association, the process of forming connections or bonds with people, organizations, or even ideas, such as through books or other media. (1Co 15:33) <<When my father heard the CD I was listening to he reminded me of the dangers of bad association.>>
atheist
One who denies the existence of God, and therefore also rejects all religion. (Compare {agnostic}.) Because they thereby put their own thinking ahead of God's, they become guilty of self-worship, a form of idolatry. (Psa 14:1; see the Insight book [it] article on IDOLATRY.) True atheists are much less liable to be reasoned with than agnostics, because they are ones who claim to have become convinced of God's non-existence, and so have taken a stand against evidence to the contrary. <<Most people who say they are atheists are really merely agnostics.>>
attendant
A brother, usually a {ministerial servant}, who helps with seating, greets strangers, maintains order, assists with crying babies and obstreperous children, {takes the count}, watches for problems in the parking lot, answers the phone, and occasionally acts as bouncer to unwelcome misbehaving intruders.
[attire, dress] and grooming
Attire and dress both have to do with one's choice of clothing styles, and the appropriateness of what is worn. Grooming is concern shown for an attractive appearance, and includes attention given to personal cleanness, neatness, hair styles, straight {ties}, pressed {suits}, and so forth. The Society's literature often mentions these words together in one phrase. Jehovah's Witnesses are expected to be exemplary in attire and grooming, generally conforming to local community standards as to what constitutes being well-dressed. [sg 184] <<Elders need to take care that they do not impose their own strongly held {opinions} about dress and grooming on the congregation.>> (See also {suit}, {tie}, {shirt}, {beard}, {mustache}, and {button}.)
attribute
An inherent characteristic or quality. The noun form has the accent on the first syllable. The Bible describes Jehovah's four primary attributes as being love, justice, power, and wisdom, with his other personality qualities being composites of and secondary to these.
Authorized Version
Official name given to the so-called King James English translation of the Bible, published in 1611. It was traditionally referred to in print as AV, but is now more commonly designated as KJ. (See Psa 83:18 KJ.)
aux pioneer
Slangy shortened version of {auxiliary pioneer}. People who use this seem to be prone to using other truncated forms, particularly in writing, such as pio for pioneer, and cong or congo for {congregation}. <<I'm planning on joining the aux pios and other pubs in our cong in mag service between semesters after I finish the lit inventory.>> This style of usage is seen frequently in {email}.
auxiliary pioneer, [continuous, regular] auxiliary pioneer
A {pioneer} {minister} who devotes 60 hours to field service in a month, normally during isolated months, or for a few months at a time. One who serves as such without interruption is called either a ``continuous auxiliary pioneer'' or a ``regular auxiliary pioneer''. There is a box on the application form that may be checked if the applicant intends to continue indefinitely.
AV
AMOOFL formerly used to refer in print to the {Authorized Version} of the Bible, otherwise known as the {King James Version}. In recent years the Society's publications use KJ instead.
Awake!
News-oriented companion magazine to {The Watchtower}. Notice that the {exclamation point} is a part of the title. It is sometimes left out in casual writing. It should not be. The magazine was called The Golden Age when it was first published in 1919, which is why its {publication code} is [g]. Later it was called Consolation .
STORY: In 1976, when I was serving the Upper Manhattan congregation in New York City, the elder body considered a letter received from an irate householder. I can still remember it almost verbatim. It said:
To Whom It May Concern:
I do not belong to your religion. I have never read any of your books or magazines, and have not ever been the least bit interested in doing so. I live in an apartment with a crack under the door. Last week while I was at work some of your people came by and slid a copy of your Awake! magazine, something which I did not want, under my door. My dog seized it, ate it, choked on it, and died.
Now don't worry, I am not going to sue you or anything. I have gotten over the loss of my dog, and have bought another one. But I must insist that you please never come back to my apartment again!
The letter was not signed, and there was no return address. I don't think that's what the woman meant who said to Jesus: ``the little dogs do eat of the crumbs falling from the table of their masters.'' (Mat 15:27) Jesus said on an earlier occasion: ``Do not give what is holy to dogs.'' (Mat 7:6) Apparently {spiritual food} is not good for everyone.
away back there
A phrase used often in {The Watchtower} to mean ``away back then'', indicating a point remotely far in time, not in space. Spoken by some older brothers with great enthusiasm, drawing out the way. <<Awaaay back there in the days of Abraham ...>> Saying just ``away back'' followed by a place refers to that place at a particular time. <<Away back in the garden of Eden ...>> means ``in the garden of Eden at the time it existed.'' A search of my online literature collection found 187 occurrences of back there, most all referring to a point in past time.
minimus

Agape this.....
ikhandi

We are no part of this world. Sounds too dumb. How can you live in this world and not be a part of it?
drwtsn32

they would never have connected it to only the JW religion

The dubs are not the only cult to use the term "The Truth." It has a strong psychological effect and other cults take advantage of it.
Most cults use a "loaded language" to help keep members isolated from the outside, feeling special, and enticing new members to learn more so they can understand all of the buzz words.
SpannerintheWorks

FARKEL wrote a brilliant piece on this subject:
Farkel's "Handy JW 'Apostate' Glossary"
"Apostate" - the most evil word in the JW lexicon. Worse than Satan, worse than demons. Say the word, and watch real TERROR well up in the eyes of a JW. (See "Internet")

"Demons" - real SCARY beings. They just can't wait to "get in" to your body and mess you up. A group of bad, bad, spirit entities which somehow love to inhabit used clothing, furniture, lawn chairs, and mostly, apostates, to name a few. They are frequently seen lurking around garage sales, and antique shops.

"Satan" - a token bad guy. Doesn't scare anyone, anymore. But "demons" do.

"Jehovah" - scares JWS more than apostates, demons, and Satan put together. Scares JWs more than any Circuit Overseer ever could, for that matter, or even your typical Elder. Current residence is in, or near the Pleiades Star System.
"Jehover" - the correct pronunciation of the Divine Name in Israel's Southern and poorer districts.

"Satan Inspired" - to JWs: "them"

"Holy Spirit" - some sort of a "force", or something. It acts, but we don't know how it acts, when it acts, and what it acts upon. But it "acts", I guess.

"Internet" - hiding out place for demons and apostates.

"The Truth" - a series of perpetually changing understanding of prophecy, doctrines, rules and regulations. The "light" (see "New Light") is said to get "brighter as that Day approaches". Obviously, then, that "Day" is a long ways off. According to the current "light" as now understood, we may well see another ice age or two before the "truth" really becomes known.

"Theocratic Talk" -Words only used by JWs, which are used to separate the spiritually strong from the "world", spiritually weak, disassociated and disfellowshiped ones.

"Worldly Talk" - any words that JWs don't like.

"Wordly People" - literally, all humans inhabiting this planet. To JWs: "them".

"Christians" - literally, all humans who believe in and accept Jesus Christ. To JWs: "us".

"Sheep" - victim.

"Other Sheep" - second-class victim.

"Shepherd" - used as a both noun and a verb. As it noun it means "boss guy". As a verb it means, "to question a believer's faith, to pry, to harass, to make uninvited visits"

"Elder" - a man who has demonstrated unswerving loyalty to the WTBS by his works and who has been rewarded with the responsibility of "shepherding" over a Congregation. Duties include shepherding (see "Shepherd") teaching, snooping, counseling, reprimanding, reproving, disfellowshipping and ocassionally, spying. Each Officially Approved "Elder's Kit" includes a "secret book", 7000 or so WTBS confidential "forms" to use and send directly to Headquarters Central, and a precision ruler, so be careful of your hair length, gentlemen, and your dress length, ladies!

"Ministerial Servant" - 1) a wannabe Elder who doesn't yet understand how Congregational politics work. 2) a former Elder who pissed off another Elder or Elders who had more clout with the Circuit Overseer.

"A Man Who Holds No Position of Reponsibility in the Congregation" - One lucky guy. (see "Spiritually Weak".)

"A Woman in the Congregation" - "keep your place, little lady. And don't forget that head covering."

"Theocratic Parental Discipline" - beat your child.
"Love" - a complex feeling that JWs summarize using 4 Greek definitions: "Agape" - a type of love where you don't have to have any feelings about it. "Philia" - praying for the destruction of your six billion fellow humans who don't like your books. "Storge" - child abuse. "Eros" - dirty, rotten filth.
"Serving For A Date" - what JWs accuse their fellow members of doing when they actually have to nerve believe and reply upon what their religion teaches.
"Not Serving For a Date" - what JWs say when their religion screws up yet another of its predictions.
"Put Jehovah First" - sell books.

"Running Ahead of Jehovah" - what someone is doing when he gets something right before the WTS gets around to it.
"Spiritually Weak" - anyone who dares not to conform precisely to every teaching, rule and regulation. Although not officially stated in any official WTBS publication, "Spiritually Strong" JWs are allowed to stare and sneer at "Spiritually Weak" JWs without recrimination. This is a frequently used frustration outlet for JWs, who are lucky they didn't get branded with that title first. Some "Spiritually Strong" people spend hours in the mirror practicing the facial expression which evokes "you pathetic little fool. I pity the dust on your feet. You'll never make it through the great tribulation, 'cause you don't got the guts to follow the rules. But I do, so there. Have a nice day."

"Spiritually Strong" - see Webster's definition under the word, "robot".

"Open Minded Person" - an apostate, a thinker Oops, I mean "independent thinker".

"Closed Minded Person" - haughty, full of pride, stubborn, one who won't take the magazines when offered at the door.

"No-Minded Person" - spiritually mature. (See "Elder")

"Inactive" - the thinking level peak which is reached by members at Congregational meetings and Assemblies.

"Street Work" - a no-brainer and easy way to "put in your hours", and if your male, to watch the babes at the same time. Be sure to starch your entire body before you try it out, though.

"Kingdom Hall" - a building used for JW indoctrination. Could also be a place for fellowship, should anyone actually try to do that. Includes a specially constructed "star chamber" for committee meetings and a tamper-proof safe for the "Flock" book and documents under subpoena.

"Assembly Hall" - to a JW adult: another opportunity to go camping down the toilet. To a JW child, "Mom! Do we have to go THERE all weekend, again?"

"The Catholic Church" - for years considered to be the worst of the worst in Christendom or "Babylon the Great". Attitude changed due to current "light", upon the interesting discovery that WTBS and Roman Catholic Church leadership hierarchies are literally the same: priest-elder, monsignor-Circuit Overseer, bishop-District Overseer, Archbishop-Zone Overseer, Cardinal-Branch Servant, Pope- Governing Body, among a lot of other unique similarities. Not only is the Catholic Church no longer a "snare and a racket", it is being considered as a viable financial advisor to be utilized in protecting the vested interests of the WTBS. While never admitted officially, someone took the time to point out to the WTBS that they lambasted the RCC for changing their stance on the eating of meat on Fridays, but never apologized for their ever-changing stances on vaccinations, organ transplants, military service, and blood. No one ever died from not eating meat on Fridays. 'nough said. The Catholic Church is now: not so bad, after all. "Don't point out my skeletons, and I won't point out yours."

"Revisionism" - a practice frequently used, but regularly denied by the WTBS.

"Bound Volumes" - doctored up copies of old Watchtower magazines.

"Superior Authorities" - depends on what month of the year it is and whose on the Governing Body at any given time.

"Beth Sarim" - literally, "house of drunks".

"Beth Shan" - a complex owned by the WTBS adjacent to Beth Sarim, complete with two bomb shelters and conveniently located next to 3 liquor stores. Purchased for "Theocratic Insurance" in case Jehovah forgot to provide protection to Judge Rutherford at the "imminent" battle of Armageddon. Quietly sold after WWII, with all proceeds then being used to support the preaching work. Sure.

"Blood" - the "symbol" of life itself.

"Blood Transfusion" - a life-saving medical procedure refused by JWs, in which it is reasoned, a "symbol" is more important than the life the "symbol" represents. (See "Blood" and "Idolatry")

"Idol" - any likeness or symbol of something. (See "Idolatry")

"Idolatry" - the worship of an Idol. (See "Idol")

"The Society" - the representative or symbol of JWs. (See "Idol")

"Spiritual Encouragement" - bullying.
"Appreciate" - like it or leave.
"Higher Education" - how should I know? I was raised a Witness.
"Spiritual Food" - 1) A diet, that if kept up for any length of time, will result in total starvation. 2) Any JW publication which has been hot off the press for a week or less, tops. Not to be confused with the Holy Bible, which by itself, is NOT to be considered as spiritual food. It's sorta like protein: the Bible is considered "incomplete" protein unless taken in conjunction with other "foods", i.e. The WT and Asleep magazines. Then, it's complete "protein" and nutritious for you. (If you have a strong stomach, and don't have a tendency to vomit easily).
"Spiritual Food at the Proper Time" - damage control.
"Spiritual Fornication" - having sex with an angel without the benefit of marriage.
"Absolute Spiritual Endangerment" - a totally non-Biblical concept in which it is possible to get a divorce from a mate who doesn't like his/her mate to be sucked into a cult.
"Earthly Hope" - a second-class existence in which, the people on earth will be ruled over from heaven by many people they didn't like when they were alive, anyway.
"Harvest Sifting" - the result of the Miracle Wheat scandal.
"Miracle Wheat" - the first, failed attempt of the WTBS at trying out the "free enterprise" system. The WTBS later learned that it was much more successful, by using, instead, the "slave enterprise" system.
"Class" - a "greater fullfullment" word which applies to virtually every character ever mentioned in the Bible. In the "greater fullfillment", the "class" which represents each Bible character is somehow applied to JWs. How do ya fit "Onan" in there, anyway?
"Gentile Times" - a way of teaching multiplication to non- Jews.
"Children" - a book written by a WTBS President who never had any.
"Prophecy" - another book written by the same WTBS President. An oxymoron.
"Oxymoron" - Free Home Bible Study, Independent Thinking, Public Talk, New Light, The "Truth", Non-Inspired Prophet, Faithful and Discrete Slave, "Good" News of the Kingdom, Happiest People on Earth, "Servant", "Trustworthy and Reliable" Bible Chronology, Love God in Fear, "We Bring a Heart of Wisdom to this matter", "Declaration of Facts", "Aid to Bible Understanding", "The Truth That Leads to Eternal Life", etc. Sigh.
"Opposer" - not literally "one who opposes", but merely one who doesn't agree with everything rule and doctrine put forward, without questioning or verifying. "Where else can we go?" - a question asked of Jesus by his Apostles, and which applied to Him as the only place to turn for salvation. Currently used by the WTBS to apply to themselves. Standard apostate retort when asked that question is "how about a nice movie, or something?"
"Erich Frost" - current WTBS example of a "faithful servant", albeit deceased. Was responsible for betraying 7 Circuit Overseers and their families to the Nazis during WWII, resulting in their imprisonment in concentration camps. One died there.
"The Organization" - 1) Your Mother. 2) The intermediary for all of mankind to get to Jesus Christ. Removed Christ from his seat at the head of the Throne and as Mediator for all Mankind, and rejected his requirements for baptism during the "trying times" of the 1980's, to make things "simpler" for the average JW. 3) The ONLY way to Salvation. 4) 12 old geezers and their faithful minions who actually believe this caca.
The "New Covenant" - something 99 percent of faithful Jehovah's Witnesses can never experience. It is also unfortunate that the OTHER 1 percent will never experience it, either! But, according to JW dogma, it is a "lucky break" for anyone who was born before 1935 when, after that, Jehovah pretty much "slammed the door" on any new inductees. Jehovah can play "rough" sometimes, can't he?
"Publisher's Time Sheet" - literally, "JW Report Card".
"Annual Yearbook" - a vehicle used to regularly dispense a false history of JWs. It also includes statistics which no statistician can use in any meaningful way.
"Aid to Bible Understanding" - a master JW reference book. All of the 3 authors were subsequently disfellowshipped, and thus were not entitled to any royalties.
"Anointed" - an experience that, unfortunately, no "anointed" one has ever been able to explain. Before 1935, no one had to explain it. They just WERE! After 1935, they didn't have to explain it either: they just, somehow, KNOW. After all, a lot of the "Evil Slave" died unrepentant. So there must be some "openings", mustn't there? At Pentecost they REALLY KNEW, according to the Bible, because they were overcome with Holy Spirit. Modern anointed ones don't even experience 6 volts of Holy Spirit. Shame.
"Evil Slave" - originally applied to the "Standfasters" who left the Russell organization because they objected to any participation in war, including buying bonds which supported the war, which Russell supported in print. Currently applies to any ex-"anointed", former "faithful and discrete slave" who doesn't toe the line. When I was a youngster, I was warned that if I encountered any elderly person who started to say nice things about Russell, and his teachings, I should flee that household right away! The 'ol Evil Slave was ready and willing to entice me into apostasy.
"In Jehovah's Due Time" - literally: "never."
"Stumbled" - someone tripped up and disillusioned over failed JW doctrines or Elder bullying. Used perjoratively.
"Hypocrisy" - something all other religions, excepts JWs practice.
"Just Imperfect Men" - catch-all excuse when prophecies fail, or an over-zealous Elder wrecks the lives of an individual or a family.
The "Great Crowd" - shirttail followers of the "chosen ones" in the "New Covenant". "It's too bad you were unlucky enough to be born after we decided that 1935 was the "cut off" date. Sorry about that." Sometimes referred to as "second class Christians".
"New Light" - a catchall phrase which means "an old mistake has now just been replaced with another, newer mistake".
"Spirit Directed" - what happened when Johnannes Greber participated in the creation of the New World Translation of the Holy Scriptures. Also refers to C.T. Russell's dabbling with astrology and pyramidology.
"Unity" - unquestioning conformity.
"Conformity" - something practiced only by Catholics and other "Worldly" religions.
"Science" - A discipline using facts which disagree with JW doctrine.
"Scholarly" - see "Science."
"Reasoning" - making things up.
"Bible Interpretation" - see "Reasoning".
"Society's Writing Staff" - see "Reasoning".
"607 B.C." - the fundamental date critical to supporting the entire JW framework of prophetic chronology. This date, unique to only JWs, has been rejected by virtually EVERY other Bible historian and archeologist. (See "Reasoning".)
"1914" A.D. - the single most important date in JW doctrine, and is the result of using 607 B.C as an "anchor date", using the book of Daniel, Chapter 4, as proof.
This is based upon the following, simple reasoning:
7 "times" doesn't mean "7 times". It means "7 years".
But,"7 years" doesn't really mean 7 "years", either. It means "7 years of days".
But, the "days" in "years of days" doesn't really mean "years of days, in which the days actually mean "days", but means "years of days, in which the "days" actually mean "years".
Therefore, it is easy for even a fool to see that "7 times" REALLY means "7 years" but which really means "7 years of days", but which then really means "7 years of days which aren't really days, but years", or simply stated "7 years of days of which days are really years". To put it even so a child can understand it, it means that the "times" aren't "times" at all, but are "years", which aren't "years" at all, but are "years of days", which aren't "days" at all, but are "years" AFTER all, even though they were originally CALLED "times"!
Got all that? There's more.
Strangely, however, for all of this to work, this fulfillment, based upon an ANCIENT text, still requires the use of the ANCIENT calendar for the MODERN fulfillment to work out to 1914. Therefore, ancient text + ancient calendar = modern date in modern calendar.
When doing your calculations, don't forget that there is no "zero year" from B.C to A.D. C.T. Russell forgot that and was quite embarrassed about it. The official WTBS explanation in later, revised, editions of his books was that "the battery was very low in his calculator at that time" and he wasn't aware of it until after the material was printed.
Lastly, the book of Daniel was prophesied to remain "sealed" until the "last days", which, as we know, began in 1914, according to the simple reasoning just presented. So, Russell had to figure out a way to, somehow "unseal" Daniel before it was prophesied that Daniel WOULD be "unsealed" so he could then put forth a prophecy which pointed to exactly when Daniel WAS to be "unsealed", namely at the start of the "last days", in 1914. Russell, therefore, successfully used a "sealed" book to calculate the exact date it was to be "unsealed", which at that time it was officially, "unsealed", but Russell "unsealed" it before that, because he wanted to know beforehand when it WOULD be "unsealed", because only THEN would he know when the "last days" were to start, which was, of course, when Daniel actually WAS to be "unsealed". Got all that?
I apologize to the reader for using so many words, but, this stuff is so, well, "DEEP"! (See "607" B.C" and "Reasoning".)
"The Trinity" - a pagan belief thoroughly disproved by the Society's chief mathematician emeritus, who demonstrated through a complex serious of equations that 1+1+1 cannot possibly equal one, and through further empirical reasoning proved that pagan idea of 1/3+1/3+1/3=1 diminishes the glory of God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit . Such indisputable and sound logic has confounded and amazed the traditional realm of theoretical mathematicians worldwide. (See "Reasoning".)
The "World" - what is occupied by "Wordlings". (See Worldlings.)
"Indisputable Facts" - lies.
"Committee Meeting" - you are doomed.
"Pay Attention to Yourself and to All the Flock" - a top secret WTBS book which everyone knows about and has read, except JWs.
"Branch Office Service Procedures Manual" - another top secret WTBS book which has more rules and regulations than the entire U.S Internal Revenue Service Code and Federal Law Code combined. One such "Branch" book accidentally caught on fire recently at a Branch Servant's vacation camping trip in the woods and kept the entire group toasty warm for over three weeks! It has been rumored that this book is so large that by the time any Branch Servant can finally locate a rule needed to solve an immediate problem, there have already been 3 new revised versions of the book written and printed.
"Donation" - in the Congregation: extortion by "encouragement". In the field service: extortion by "sympathy".
"Assembly" - a Worldwide book-promotion tour, together with entertainment, including "Bible Dramas" designed to cure every form of insomnia. (Don't forget to stand at attention when the announcements are read.)
"FREE Home Bible Study" - a very EXPENSIVE lesson in life and pocketbook when played to its inevitable conclusion.
"Disfellowshipment" - spiritual and familial homicide. Attempts to upgrade this practice to physical homicide have been thwarted because of existing laws in most countries.

"Disassociation" - the same results as disfellowshipment, except the person gets to get out before they are forced out.
"Public Reproof" - cruel and unusual punishment in front of the entire JW community.
"Reprimand" - a relatively minor discipline administered to those who have mastered the art of begging or who are expert liars.
"Reinstatement" - a "blessing" to be dispensed at the whim of the Elders after an extended period of public humiliation. It can also refer to a spiritual concession of conscience made by a disfellowshiped one, owing to the natural and very human desire to be able to associate with family and friends, despite knowing "something" about the belief is wrong.
"Hate" - something JWs practice in a loving and Biblical way.
"The Mexican Issue" - a scripturally approved policy of avoiding death in war by obtaining an illegal Government document through lying .
"The Malawi Issue" - a scripturally approved policy of sealing your death by refusing to obtain a legal Government document.
"Independent Thinking" - a marvelous gift of mankind. Unfortunately, to many this ability is lost, due to frontal lobotomies or persistence in continuing to attend Watchtower Studies.
"Magog" - a washing machine which never seems to break.
The Book "From Paradise Lost to Paradise Regained" - responsible for intolerable mental abuse for any child who read it and had to look at the "Armageddon" pictures. Now out of print, fortunately.
"Great Tribulation" - something which just never seems to happen as planned.
"Fixing Dates" - something the WTBS forswore not to do about 40 years before 1975.
"The Last Days" - there is a great deal of excitement about this in Brooklyn. Seems someone has postulated that the Greek word for "days" may also be loosely translated "centuries". (Is Freddie Franz back in action, again?) It will take consultation with a noted psychic to verify whether this change in translation will be implemented, or not, however.
"Childlessness" - a practice strongly encouraged for married couples for nearly a hundred years due to the "remaining short time". Definitely a major breakthrough in JW birth-control.
"Porneia" - anything which stimulates the hormones of the average Elder. This could involve a "carressing of the breasts" in a certain but unspecified manner. "Could you be very specific about WHERE and HOW he touched you, young lady? Don't leave out the details, either. Jehovah is watching you. Did you climax? How many times? Did you like it? Explain, please. Remember, we're here to HELP you."
"The 1975 Prediction" - 1) Something that never happened. 2) to Witness newbies, a date just like any other: no more, no less. Now not even mentioned under "significant" dates in the WTBS reference books. 3) A "Harvest Sifting" in which over-speculative and presumptuous people erroneously hoped something would happen, but was never declared in print to happen. 4) A year to weed out the "lazy ones" who were only serving Jehovah for imminent salvation. 5) A date which destroyed many fragile psyches, life savings, and families. 6) A date not to forget for apostates. Long- time apostates will always remember October 5, 1975, as "a day of infamy".
"1874" - a date, whose historical significance we shall never know, because everyone who believed in what was going to happen on that date is now dead.
"Judge Rutherford" - a deceased gentlemen whose unfortunate destiny in the eternal afterlife was to be placed in a room loaded with fully stocked, (but locked) liquor cabinets. And he has no key! Just his own books to keep him company! On the wall of this room is a bright mural which is eternally flashing in garish colors: "Religion is a Snare and a Racket", accompanied by shrill and deafening sounds of his "phonograph" speechs, for ever, and ever, and ever!
"Loose Conduct" - any type of sexual activity which, when described in minute detail, is designed to stimulate the prurient interests of the Elders. (See "Porneia".)
"Public Talk" - a lecture which is almost NEVER attended by any of the public. On the rare occasion when a member of the public attends, it is only for once, due to a phenomenon known as "sleep apnea".
"Sleep Apnea" - a chronic grogginess induced at the first verse of the first song at every JW meeting. This phenomenon has also been noticed in householders who are being given a "thorough Witness". (See "Thorough Witness".)
"Giving a Thorough Witness" - see "Sleep Apnea".
"Watchtower Study" - a very "deep" discussion of JW doctrine via a question and answer format. On occasion, the Bible may also be used, as long as its used in moderation.
"Service Meeting" - advanced sales training.
"Moderation" - a strict form of conduct applicable to every activity in every JW's life, with the exception of field service and Watchtower donations.
"Spiritually Deep" - anything contradictory JW teaching, or anything which cannot be explained to any rational, questioning human being. Also used by the lower ranks of JWs to explain away anything not understood, since most of the lower ranks don't read the literature to begin with.
"Tract" and "Booklet" - something passed out to the public by JWs, which is promptly turned into fireplace fodder.
"The Magazines" - also something passed out to the public by JWs, but unlike tracts and booklets, can be rolled into nifty fireplace LOGS!
"The Books" - unlike booklets and magazines, these are most suitable for Bon Fires.
"Exegesis" - a critical interpretation of a text. Most JWs think it is the second book of the Bible.
"Heuristic" - valuable for empirical reasoning. The normal JW does not know the meaning of this word, but assumes it must have a "dirty sexual" connotation. (See "Porneia".)
"Type and Antitype" - a method of Bible interpretation developed by Frederick W. Franz, which basically allows for a minimum of two meanings to EVERY verse in the Bible. This effective coup virtually doubled the original meaning and interpretation of the Bible in one fell swoop!
"Archtype" - an enhancement to the "type and antitype" theory of interpretation which caused the possible interpretations of the original Bible to be TRIPLED!!
"Fred Franz" - a dead guy who made all this goofy stuff up.
"Literacy" - a recent phenomenon occurring in modern Congregations of Jehovah's Witnesses. Portends the possibility that JW literature will have less of those sappy and stupid pictures than in the past.
"Bethel Art Staff" - a bunch of guys who stand to lose their jobs if this "literacy" thing continues.
"Wars and Rumors of Wars" - a sure sign the end is upon us.
"No Wars and No Rumors of Wars" - a sure sign the end is upon us.
"The Jimmy Swaggart Incident" - didn't happen. Show me ANYWHERE in the literature of JWs proof that it actually happened.
"Jew" - see the "Declaration of Facts", sent to Adolph Hitler in 1933.
"Famine - 1975" - a very authoritative book, quoted frequently by the WTBS, which proves beyond any shadow of a doubt that the world would be enveloped with famine in 1975. Out of print since Jan 1, 1976.
"Reliable and Trustworthy Bible Chronology" - oh, oh. We're headed for more "new light" and another GB "spanking" after this prophecy fails.
"Reform" - something Martin Luther did, but then he was an apostate. This word is nowhere to be found in the JW lexicon.
"Worldlings" - a term of deep respect used by JWs when referring to anyone outside of their organization.
"Wait on Jehovah" - literally, "We don't have a clue".
"Kingdom Ministry School" - advanced sales training. Requires "Ministry School 101" as a prerequisite.
"Final Concluding Comments" - the most eagerly awaited part of any JW meeting.
"Nephilim" - the children of angelic demons and earthly mothers who all spoke with lisps.
"The 7 Trumpets" - refers to a "significant" scriptural prophecy which, "unquestionably", had its fulfillment in 7 JW assemblies in the 20's. For some strange reason, it hasn't been mentioned in print in decades.
"Jesus, the Christ" - The Son of God. He is believed to answer directly to the dictims of the "faithful and discrete slave". (See "faithful and discrete slave")
"Book Study" - another form of study, which invariably occurs on the one night of all of your favorite TV shows.
"Weekend Field Service" - a preaching requirement which explains why the lawns of most JWs are longer than their neighbors'.
"Faithful and Discrete Slave" (FDS) - a group of around 7,000 or so "chosen" people. The ETERNAL SALVATION of the rest of the ENTIRE world (6 BILLION living people) entirely rests with how they "treat" this FDS. This presents a major logistical problem for these 6 billion people who are desperately scurrying around the planet to trying to LOCATE one of those FDS so they can treat him or her "nice". Most FDS do not keep a high profile (they are in rest homes and wheelchairs and have bowel problems) and so are very hard to locate. Finding someone of the FDS to treat "nice" is difficult in America, and virtually impossible in China, India and Muslim countries. They are, therefore, doomed, unless they afford to retain a good private detective to help them locate one.
"Governing Body" - a group of 12 to 18 men (depending upon who's alive at the time) who will soon be able to retire in a $50,000,000 (materials only, labor was free) resort complex on nearly 700 acres in Patterson New Jersey
"Inactive Publisher" - total loser. Very vulnerable to "demon penetration".
"Ordinary Publisher" - loser. Someone not "reaching out".
"Vacation (auxiliary) Pioneer" - a cheap attempt at gaining salvation.
"Regular Pioneer" - showing some potential for greatness here. Might make it to Ministerial Servant if you don't make waves.
"Special Pioneer" - now you are something SPECIAL! (No medical benefits, or pension, though) Elder material, if, fortunately, you are not a female.
"Missionary" - salvation by quota. Discount on magazines, and enough money a month to place you at, or near, the poverty level of the average citizen of Calcutta, India.
"Bethelite" - forced exile from reality. Loyalty oath required. Free room and board, though. Frequent room searches, unfortunately. Don't know about free subway tokens these days. Stuff is always changing. Annual clothing allowance, subsidized, in part, by "Goodwill Industries". Good view of the Hudson River. Must be subjected to GB members flatulation and dozing off while presenting the morning's text. If you are in charge of the dining room that day, you sometimes need to remind the GB why they are there in the first place. Requirement to "shepherd" a congregation in Albany, or some other distant place, including Sweden. Must be on time to work every day.
"Grumbling" - members of the Congregation saying it like it is.
"Gileadite" - intense preparation for salvation by quota. Must read the entire Bible, but only in moderation. Get a hobby, if you have problems with that.
"Presiding Overseer" - power over the entire Congregation. A real rush.
"Circuit Overseer" - power over the Presiding Overseers. A better rush. Free meals in homes is a nice perk. No dishes to wash, either.
"District, Zone, and Branch Overseers" - power over everyone under them. A super rush.
"Governing Body" - apparent power over Christ, the Bible and Jehovah God. The ultimate, but only a very TEMPORARY rush, since it takes around 80 years to become a member.
"Patterson Complex" - a "teaching" complex with NO literature printing, binding, or distribution facilities, but apparently, plenty of condos for the WT elite. Adjacent to this facility is the Patterson Inn, a "for-profit" hotel owned by the WTBS, due to tax-income-related compromises made with the City of Patterson, which, until now, had no hotel. Thanks to "God's Spirit-Directed Organization, Patterson now has a hotel! Praise the Lord!
"Patterson Complex Visitation Arrangements" - All faithful may visit the complex and stay in the hotel. The admission price for a Patterson Complex tour is yet-to-be determined. Due to current legal trends, a "donation" type system may be substituted for an actual admission. This all depends upon the current tax laws at the time of opening, and will be subject to change, depending upon future tax laws, which might be enacted at any future date. However, it has been determined that the living quarters of the GB will be strictly off- limits. At $300 per square foot, this ain't no Budget Inn. "In- Condo" Jacuzzis, anyone? Home entertainment systems, anyone? Room or maid service, anyone?
"Greed" - a vile lifestyle practiced by all religious clergy, except the leaders of Jehovah's Witnesses. Condemned in the Bible in 1st Corinthians 5:11. Not currently a followed-through disfellowshipping offense. Subject to change, as is everything else. New Light next week. News at 11:00. Better yet, don't miss your next Assembly, folks! More books ahead!
Farkel
minimus

Thank you for putting Farkel's comments on Watchtower words.....Here's proof that when he's on, he's the best.
invictus

or how about "present truth" or "we have the truth" or " they may be in the truth, but truth is not in them"-now figure that out; last one was being told to us when we stopped going in service.
invictus
kyria

I nonchalantly used the word "pioneer" to a friend of mine who burst out laughing. She said all she could picture was Witnesses in covered wagons.

WATCHTOWER WORDS

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