I know I will disappoint people if I do go back, but I feel this is the best thing for me and my family. My children need their grandparents, I need my parents and I know that if anything happened to mum because of the situation I would never forgive myself
First of all thanks for the reminding me how dysfunctional JWism is, that story made my stomach turn.
Second, I have no problem with disfellowshipped persons, who strictly for pragmatic reasons, try to get reinstated. I could never do it and don't have any reason to, but family relationships are so important, too important to allow an organizational label to interfere with.
Be very careful not to let any active JW, no matter how much you trust them, know what your real motivations are.
Kelpie, I'm glad your sister was strong in her stance.
She told me that it is not the religion that is bad but the people in it.
I thought that too about 12 years ago which is why I went back after being inactive for some time. Eleven years later I realized it was the religion and some of the people that were bad.
Think of it, doesn't the WTS say the same thing about other religions, that the religions are bad but the people are good and that is why JWs preach to save them to get the OUT of the religion?
After 20 congregations and over 40 years, I know now it is the religion that is bad.
You were so brave to go and it helped your sister.
I am so sorry for the pain you are going thru - you have to make some tough choices. situation you are in is obviously causing you a lot of heartache but there might be a slight chance that your sister may reconsider her beliefs and who knows maybe others from your family will take a hard look at what happened at the weeding. if you go back to the meetings just for sake of being with your family, but knowing that everything else is false, would that make you happy? do you think you can go back to having relationship with your loved ones like it was before, or would there be a remainders of your exit from the "truth"?
What about your fiance? what is his opinion, because whatever you choose will affect him too?
dear kelpie, I wish you all the strenght and courage at this difficult time and whatever you choose I will think no less of you. you are brave person and you will do a right thing.
Knowing the congo you're talking about as I do, I can visualise the scenes you're describing. It seems your stepfather was trying desparately to hold the family to show loyaltyhold to the party-line.
I wonder how your fiancee would be affected by your return to the KH? I somehow think it would not be a smooth road. It certainly wouldn't be at the KH. Now do you realise that they won't even talk to you unless you were no longer "living in sin". That means giving him up! Sure you can marry him, then apply for reinstatement, but the only basis upon which you can approach them now is to give up your fiancee until you're married!
It seems to me that either you believe it's wrong or you don't. If you believe it's wrong, you've already done the "hard yards". It can only improve (or stay the same) but not get worse.
I am sorry that the wedding was a painful and disruptive occasion. It should have been joyous and happy one for all the family. But the organization and its rules interfere with normal human relationships.
I have to agree with Blondie. It is not the people. They are victims of the system too. They sincerely believe they are obeying Jehovah when following Watchtower rules. It is the organization that is cruel and heartless in setting these rules and forcing members to abide by them.
As painful as it is, people like your sister will discern the cruelty of it all. It will be another chink in the armor of the Watchtower defense. In the meantime, take advantage of your association with family members. You could be the source of freeing them from this spiritual slavery.
I don't very often post, Kelpie, but I just had to for this. I feel so very, very sorry for you and ALL your family. You are all trapped (as we are too) in this false, hard, unkind, unchristian religion we at one time all thought was "right". We are trapped .....because even when we are "out" .....we are still involved because of our own dear family members who are still "in". There is no answer to your situation because your family are victims just as you and I are. I so understand how you are feeling now but later I think you will realize that if you go back for your family's sake you will compound the problem because one day your own children will "see the light" and it will happen all over again. This is the terrible hold the organisation has...and they know it..and they use it. If we don't get out now and take the terrible pain, the next generation will grow up to face the same dreadful problems so many posting here have. Could you really face a future like that for your own children.????
They need the freedom to make their own choices in life. We need to remember that we can take all our pain to our mediator Christ Jesus, who "groans" for us, He is compassionate and really doesn't let you bear the unbearable. Take it to him in prayer and he WILL make a way out. It may seem so dark at the moment but you will be able to look back and see that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I wish I could give you a hug (and also your poor mum needs one too) but this may well start her on the road .........
If you would like to e-mail us [email protected] we will give you our telephone number or ask Bliss for it. Please ring.
but I feel this is the best thing for me and my family. My children need their grandparents
But do they need "The Truth" in their lives?
My father studied at the beginning, but decided it was not the truth and stopped it . He never opposed the rest of us practicing the religion . Had he done so , then perhaps I would not have wasted 40 years in the Borg. My sister is still active and her 2 sons and 5 grandchidren , all because we never heard a reasoned argument against it
I equate this religion to a dangerous, mind conditioning group . How would you feel when your kids avow their intention to Pioneer when they grow up???
Your post was so touching. Whatever you decide, it's your decision. You know your situation best, but be sure you give your decision plenty of thought. You won't disappoint me in the least. You can still come here for support and I'm sure most people here will be extremely understanding.
Good luck to your sister. It sounds like you can slowly anti-witness to her. Call her regularly just to let her know you are willing to listen. She will need to talk a lot to somebody.
please try not to make any big decisions now while you are feeling so vulnerable.
Step outside of now and see the future with maybe your husband or little girl dying because of the blood issue.
Step outside of now and maybe you will be the only way some of your family have to escape the control of the WTBTS. They might not leave but the tentacles could be loosened.
