I had a talk with my best friend (who is still an active JW) the other day, and told her that I wasn't interested in remaining an active Witness any more. I knew she would accept my feelings, because she's a wonderful person and is actually very emotionally healthy, but was afraid because I didn't really know how tight a grip the mind control had on her, and didn't know if she would feel obligated to back off in our friendship any. I was deeply afraid of that, because we're as close, if not closer than, sisters.
To my pleasant surprise, she not only totally accepted my feelings, but she already knew what I was going to say before I said it. She told me that she understands and supports me, even though she feels that she needs to stay close to Jehovah herself for now. We talked about it for a few hours, and I was a little afraid she didn't really understand that I was going apostate, but after a while she started talking about how unfair it was that someone couldn't just decide they didn't want to be a Jehovah's Witness anymore without getting df'd. We talked for a while about the unscripturalness of disfellowshipping and about all sorts of other unscriptural and/or unhealthy things Jehovah's Witnesses teach.
It was such a big relief to me, because even though I knew she would accept my feelings, now I know that I even have her support. My other closest girlfriend, also a loyal JW, also knows about Euphemism and my -um -defection, and though she doesn't understand, she's still loyal enough to want to continue associating with us despite everything, because she doesn't really believe in the whole disfellowshipping thing herself.
But anyway. I just feel good that I still am able to keep my two closest friends, and I wanted to share my good news with you guys. I figure it's only a matter of time for my closest friend to reach the point emotionally where she's ready to leave...I'm not sure about my other friend, but at least I know she still loves me.
I'm still afraid of how my parents will react...I know they'll be a lot less accepting and understanding!
