Should I be mad?

kairos

I've been DF'd for about six weeks now.
No one has broken the obligation to "honor the disfellowshipping decree".
That's the way notorious CO Paul Kohler describes the "loving arrangement" that is JW shunning. ( Just "serving" Napa )

So, my wife's family has been "loving me" ( barf ) when out of nowhere, one of them sends home homemade soup for me...

Well, I got super pissed. Caused a big fight and the rage against this filthy cult is at a high note.

If we had a normal relationship, this would be fine, but this was like getting an invitation to attend something great and at the end it says, "by the way, you aren't really invited".

What am I supposed to do, she's been shunning her own daughter for the last 10 years. Am I supposed to call and thank her for the soup?

I'm thinking this must be some maniacal effort to lure me back to the KH.

I told my wife I thought it was cruel. I don't need soup, I'd like a relationship.
I almost dumped it straight into the garbage.

Shunning is stupid.

SO. Would you be mad?

cognac

Seems like she's trying to reach out to show she cares without breaking the rules. I'd think it must be eating away at her...

Virgochik

So, if I understand, they had a meal, to which you weren't invited, then they sent you some leftovers?

Yes, I'd be disgusted.

I do see Cognac's point too, though.

Dunedain

If it was alphabet soup, maybe there is a "message" in the soup, using the letters. Stir the giant pot of soup around, and see where the letters land, kinda like a magic 8 ball, lol.

Beth Sarim

That's disgraceful how they treat others sometimes.

kairos

My wife told me how much her family loves me and is in "so much pain".

I had to just say it's because they are in a CULT!
I explained than shunning is amongst some of the cruelest conduct one can engage in.

Then the nerve to call it "love".

I told her that they treat me like they hate me.
( we'll never speak to you again until you get re-instated )
That will never happen.
( Unless "someone holy" visits me with the straight scoop )

I got the look of: "does. not. compute."

wisdomfrombelow

If you want to eat the soup, eat it. If's just food and don't worry anymore about it. I've eaten cake from weddings I wasn't invited to. You didn't ask for the soup so if they want to know how if you liked it then they can ask your wife or they can ask you. You don't have to do anything.

Village Idiot

If she sent you some soup then she's done more than the majority of JWs would do. It seems that the person who sent you the soup is simply trying to show that she cares even though she's not supposed to associate with you. Keep in mind that if the elders knew she sent a df'd one some soup they'd be jumping all over her saying that she should have no dealings with you.

cappytan

I agree with Cognac and VI. I used to go out of my way to show a DF'd person I still care about them without breaking the rules. It was so ridiculous, in retrospect.

Anon2

Someone who thinks shunning is loving might also think it's loving to cause your demise before Armageddon so you'll have a chance at resurrection. Don't eat the soup. She might wanna love you to death.

Should I be mad?

Share this