My Girlfriend's a JW, but I am not, What to do??? (page 3)

rocketman

My inclination would be to move on. Once someone is involved in the jw religion, it's very difficult to convince them to turn away from it. The repercussions of getting involved with a jw could last you a lifetime. I'd seriously consider moving on.

rocketman

Oh, and the fact that she wants you to convert and already has a close family member (her mom) as a jw - not a favorable situation at all.

bebu

Another guy,

She offered for me to ask her the questions that trouble me most and shes also gonna "bring some stuff round to show me" (should be interesting).

TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THIS.

Be very patient and open and present yourself as one who recognizes that to invest your life in a religion is not the same level of commitment as to a brand or a sports team. You realize yourself even now the importance of the commitment of marriage, for example, and are not just rushing into it but weighing this carefully, checking to see if there's any way this could work. Transfer this idea to her; out-do her on her commitment to wishing to follow the "truth".

When I speak to Mormons, my framework is that I would very seriously consider becoming a Mormon except for the fact that there are so many red flags that I've run across. No one yet has given me any helpful answer that gets rid of these flags, but perhaps there is something I've not yet come across! I make it my point to go out of my way to let them know that this is not a "personal" issue between us, but it is simply a matter of being prudent with my very life!

There are so many paper trails of deception left by the WT; pick a few to start with (UN scandal, 586 BC/607 BC dates, silent lambs, and countless other ones). Do not expect her to give up this faith suddenly, but if you show her documents, online video (www.dirtclod.com), Crisis of Conscience, etc, then after each time her foundation has shifted. If she makes lame excuses, tell her that those reasons may work well for her, but they don't convince YOU. Then, tell her there's another issue (whatever it is you picked) you need to discuss with her later. If she gets uncertain, then you might ask her to look online at www.quotes.jehovahswitnesses.com. She can go to town there...

Anyway, I do think there's hope as long as she made that promise sincerely to you (remind her of it, and hold her to it). The key is to take the high road without seeming belittling, by (again) explaining that the truth is going to hold up under very close scrutiny, and this is how you've decided to proceed.

If she shuts down, or refuses to accept the information with a normal rational mind, then lace up your Adidas or Nikes or other running shoe on hand. If she will not process clear information well, it won't take many years into marriage to see how this attribute will wreck the relationship.

Take heart, another guy; if she's gold like you think she is, then take your chance and only get her with the gold and NOT the WT dross.

bebu

I want to clarify that you should NOT spend much time looking at the WT with her. Look at them by yourself (if you must), but only to get a grasp on what her mindset is. Instead, YOU be the one to bring the documents, and not doctrinal things but whatever scandals/deceitful things the WT has done. This is where you may need 1-2 weeks to prepare.

YOUR point being, you can't really look at the doctrines and accept them when you know that the organization that gives them out has a phenomenal track record of deceit. "Help prove that these red flags (of deceit) I see are all big mistakes, and then I can proceed to consider the WT's claims/doctrines."

She will be completely unprepared for this arrangement, and her world will likely develop cracks. So, DON"T let her run the encounter, or I promise you that you will get NOWHERE.

bebu

joannadandy

she says its not gonna work

She is probably right.

I will give you this glimmer of hope. A friend of mine, who I was attracted to was the one who sort of set off the alarm bells in my head. There had always been nagging doubts, but his actually questioning me got me out.

However, our relationship didn't last.

Also, I wasn't trying to convert him.

If you want to try this--go ahead, but be prepared that it probably won't work out. If you care about this girl, and just want to see her out of a harmful religion, good for you. But my advice is DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, start a relationship with this girl until she is out and done with the religion. It's not fair to either one of you.

Stick to your guns, if you don't believe what she is saying and what you read in the publications DON'T CONVERT just for a woman.

Good luck my man, if you want any help, suggestions, advice you can always private message me here or drop me a line at [email protected].

NeonMadman

If she is a good dubbie you may never get to be naughty w/her till she's married.

And, if she's a good dubbie, you probably also won't get to be naughty with her very much even after you're married to her. (Speaks from experience)

garybuss

Welcome to the forum.

Marrying an active believing Witness is like marrying an active alcoholic. Then have kids and watch them grow up and join the group and shun you like I did. Marrying a Witness would be an extremely foolish thing to do. Life has enough natural misery that comes unexpected without signing up for a lifetime of huge problems. Use the marriage money for some hormone reduction therapy sessions. It'd be money better spent. GaryB

Phantom Stranger

This is a serious topic that deserves sincere advice - but after reading Gary's post, the phrase "bank it and spank it" won't leave my mind. Must be the demons...

morty

Get the hell out of dodge!...Sorry,but I dont want you to end up being one of our many posters,that want out sooooo bad...but just dont know how to get out.....there is a million other fish out there not connected to a cult....you will find that special person that your looking for....having anything to do with the jws with make your life hell....hoping you make the right move.....

mortons68......

p.s......I am sorry....I ment to welcome you first,,,, Welcome ...take off your hat and stay a while....

Jesika

Phantom Stranger................OMG YOU MADE ME LOL!!!!!!!!!

Tell her about the smurfs LOL!!!!!!!!!

My Girlfriend's a JW, but I am not, What to do???

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