It really is difficult to believe in the Christian God. It is impossible to comport the God of the OT, with the God of the NT. And in the attempt to do so, JWs are not alone in coming up with semantic, rhetorical argumentation that would insult the intelligence of a cretin. For example, "The Godly Quality of Hate." Utter absurdity.
Personally, I don't think it's possible to develop a positive relationship with a schizophrenic god made in man's image who displays every human fault, foible, and fuck-up writ large. It is possible, in my opinion, to adopt a more positive awareness of an unqualified absolute reality via contemplation of eastern concepts of deity; the "deity" if you will found in the Tao Te Ching for one. It's not really a deity anyway; more a comprehension of a Way, a method of being, reacting, of relating to what seems an alignment of the self to the natural tapestry of life. "Going with the flow" some have styled it.
And you can no more "leave" this Way than you can stop breathing and live. You can go with the Way, the flow, or you can go against it. And when you go against it, well, the way is hard and bad things happen. You lose your wife, you get fired from your job, your house burns down, war breaks out, weeds grow in your garden, your peanut butter dries out, your dog runs away. Going with the way, the flow, is no guarantee of success, but it's a damn sight easier that going against it.
Is there a God at the place this river is flowing to? I dunno. But it surely makes the trip easier to go with it. And you can still be a part of a sympatico organized religion while you're doing this if you like. For while organized religion may be a channel for growth, may help one go along with this flow, I think it's important to realize that the riverbed is not the river.
Anyway, afternoon musings from Francois, worth every bit you had to pay for it .
Francois