If You Could Start A Rumour About The Witnesses, What Would It Be???

by minimus 50 Replies latest jw friends

  • Mulan
    Mulan

    How about a SERIOUS reply, guys?

    A few years ago, I did that on a JW discussion board. I was out of the JW's, but acted like a believer. I said I had heard from a couple of Bethelites that within two years, we would be able to celebrate birthdays. Everyone thought it was logical. I was howling!! Too funny.

  • Englishman
    Englishman

    With the deepest respect to the late BRUCE:

    The 144,000 are only there to replace fallen angels.

    Yeah?

    Englishman.

  • minimus
    minimus

    Did you hear the latest???? Inactive ones will be disfellowshipped or will automatically be viewed as disassociated because they are no longer proving themselves to be ministers!

  • SanFranciscoJim
    SanFranciscoJim

    Disfellowshipping is to be done away with. All disfellowshipped and disassociated JWs are to be welcomed back into the congregations no-questions-asked, even those expelled for apostasy. Full privileges will be restored to these individuals. Furthermore, the WTBTS will be selling off some of its Brooklyn assets to satisfy an out of court settlement requiring all expelled JWs receive a check for $10,000.00 U.S. per year they have been shunned. The guest speaker at the next international assembly will by Ray Franz.

  • jwbot
    jwbot

    There is no need to spread rumors when the truth speaks for itself...although I have heard from an elder, who heard from a bethelite that they now require the elders to conduct a monthly breast self examination on eachother. Its true!

  • minimus
    minimus

    To start a good rumour, you have to have some plausibility. Your's is too far-fetched, Jim. I'll improve on that.....Any that stopped practicing what they got df'd for (such as smoking), will recieve automatic reinstatement. All former GB members will also be reinstated too.

  • minimus
    minimus

    Here's another one: The Watchtower Society operates and funds a business that fixes slot machines.

  • minimus
    minimus

    I heard Simon Green is going back to the Kingdom Hall on Sunday.

  • blondie
    blondie
    now require the elders to conduct a monthly breast self examination on eachother. Its true!

    Now that sounds provocative. And here I was doing it on myself by myself. 1,000's of women do it by themselves, and men need help?! And only the Bethel elders?! The other brothers must be worth crap then.

    Blondie

  • minimus
    minimus

    Not all sisters can recieve this "privilege".

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