I will read all of your posts because you remind of an older sister I once knew. We hugged at every meeting, if I was across the hall she would make it a point to come directly to me and greet me with her customary greeting (one that was for me only) and I would do the same.
She could be mother, sister, friend and just about everything else I guess. I miss her.
Like you I also tried to see what was out there religious wise. I have searched the internet and at times have come across a site that I thought to myself, "this is it!" only to find out after much time spent reading and researching that they were not for me either.
"Well what to do now?", I have said to myself many times. Now I cling to God and love my family, my friends and peace. Life is so hard sometimes but as long as I have these I am happy.
Thank you for sharing your experience in the Organization.
Welcome, Sabrina! You'll find some wonderfully interesting information here. I faded out last year, and my husband 15 years ago, and it's been wonderful fun exploring the Big Bad World and finding out how nice people really are, the true meaning of love, and just enjoying every minute of every day. I still believe in God, no matter what his name is -- I use Jehovah because that's what I'm used to and I figure if He has a problem with that He'll let me know -- and I actually feel that I have a better relationship with him since I stopped attending meetings because the self-serving, hypocritical, unloving attitude of the people at the Kingdom Hall don't get in the way of how I see God.
Fear of losing those I love controls everything I write here.
I wish it were not that way but there is nothing I can do about it.
I totally can relate to your comments as I know do so many others. I have only left JW activities several months ago and was inactive before that. Worrying about losing those I love has been a huge cloud for me, but feeling like I can see for the first time helps a lot. This place has been great therapy for me. When you grow up a JW, you really only know mostly JWs (if you obeyed all the rules) and to suddenly be 'out' it can feel like being a little lost too. When I talked to people/friends I was making about things, they can only relate so much. Mostly they think it is crazy the life I grew up in and lived. It really helps to talk to people who have been there and left because they can understand what we are going through. There are some really great people here on this board.
Thank you Shotgun, ChimChim, Surreptitious, Cruzanheart and sns for all your loving welcomes. It is more appreciated than you will ever know.
Sometimes I let my mind go back to the many District Conventions in my life and think about sitting nearby to so many brothers and sisters, families and older folks, all sharing a day together. JWD is a little like that I think. Though the talks are slightly different.
Here is a wave from a sister in the last row of the back section to everyone here. Glad to be here with you!