I did something ...really ...really ...bad

by seven006 70 Replies latest jw friends

  • Big Tex
    Big Tex

    I'm shocked, shocked I say! No doubt you were influenced by that evil and satanic rocking and rolling music.

    Don't fear the Reaper dude.

  • waiting
    waiting

    I have no witty reply. It's a beautiful Saturday morning & I'm working. well, supposed to be working.

    But thanks for the smile. I'm sure all who read this thread will appreciate the understanding for all the inside mod info.

    We knew Satan's hand was playing loose under the table somewhere. Illuminati, ha! Apostates...and Eman. The English fool is getting quite the reputation, eh? (joking for the humor impaired)

    waiting

  • gentlesoul
    gentlesoul

    Simon,

    You say noone here holds a grudge against anyone ? I have seen many Grudges here and including from you...Don't take that wrongly by me either as I am not holding any grudges towards you for your deceptions to the truth...

  • seven006
    seven006

    Simon,

    It's morning now. I'm all woked up now. The demons have left my body and I'm half way to the point of remembering who I am.

    I didn't do it. Craig did it and blamed it on me. It was all his idea. I was just in the room when he did it. I kept telling him no,no,no, don't do it. He shoved me down on the floor and told me to shut the hell up. I cried a little.

    I tried to stop him again and he hit me over the head with a beer bottle (like they do in the old cowboy movies) and then told Phantom Stranger and Shot Gun to keep me covered. They pointed their beer bottles at me and told me not to move. It was really scary.

    The women heard the noise and tried to come into the room. Craig pointed his big fat ugly finger at them and told them to get the hell out of the room 'cuz it was mans business and since they were just dumb ole women they wouldn't understand. They all got scared and started to cry. He then made them all go into the kitchen to make him a sandwich and get him another beer (he was out of ammo).

    I gathered up all my strength and when PS and SG moved their beers to their mouths (I think they each had about forty of them by now) I made my move to try and wrestle the keyboard away from Craig. As I got closer to him the light in the room shined off the top of his head in a spot where his comb over doesn't cover and it blinded me. PS and SG waited a few seconds as they slugged down the last drop of their beers and then Craig made them both hit me over my little (full head of hair) head. Then they tied me to a chair (like they do in the old gangster movies) and they poured Scotch down my throat.

    I sat there in horror as he locked thread after thread (I started crying again). I yelled out "NO, NO, NO, don't lock Englishman's thread!!!! Crag slapped me across the face (like that bitch did to her innocent little daughter in the movie Mommy Dearest) and he called Mike a warm beer guzzling pub-ho and a rat bastard. It was awful. Craig did that evil laugh thing and rubbed his hands together (like Mr. Evil in those stupid ass Austin Powers movies) and he kept locking threads.

    Then he deleted your wife, Skully and Seven of Nine cuz he said they were just dumb ole women and didn't deserve to be mods. I think Craig hates women. He has told me that a whole bunch of times (I have it on tape if you ever want to hear it).

    I finally escaped when PS and SG left to go to a strip joint to try and pick up a coupe of crack ho's.
    I ran to my car and drove like a mad man to try and get home to safety. I did stop off at a church along the way to pray to Jesus and thank him for helping escape that rat bastard Craig and also ask him for new lottery numbers (Jesus hasn't given me any winning numbers and I have been asking him for them for six years now (the rat bastard!).

    Well, that's how it happened.

    It wasn't me. It was Craig.

    Can I have my forty posts back now?

    Buddy, pal?

    Dave

  • Englishman
    Englishman
    We knew Satan's hand was playing loose under the table somewhere. Illuminati, ha! Apostates...and Eman. The English fool is getting quite the reputation, eh? (joking for the humor impaired

    I know, Waiting, I'm a bad lad. I have this penchant for insisting on people taking some responsibilty for where they eventually end up.

    It was good to meet eventually!

    Englishman.

  • shotgun
    shotgun

    All of what Dave said is true...Except for the parts after A.

    Being new to gatherings like this I just did what I was told trying my best to fit in.

    I had never heard of all the men swapping underwear before, but Craig was so adamant and I have to admit I liked wearing his silkies even though I had to use a safety pin to hold them up.

    Dave and Phantom were probably the most intelligent men I have ever met, they told me this several times.

    Seriously...Great, wonderful and caring is the way I'd describe all of the guests at Onacuise and Bikerchick's gathering. Its been along while since I've seen the true love displayed by husbands and wives towards one another by them and also Odrade and PF towards one another. I truly envy you.

    What a great bunch of guys too, J, PF, Phantom and Dave. Dave didn't actually put a gun to Craigs head...he hypnotized him. Craig probably doesn't even remember what happened, when the pizza guy showed up someone yelled * incoming *and Craig crawled under the couch.

    Anyway thanks all for meeting with me, I knew it was time to leave when Dave tried to shake my hand while it was still in my pocket.

    Thanks Phantom for the lift literally and otherwise.

    Hope to see you all in Paradise someday...that's Vancouver you silly dicks.

  • Winston Smith :>D
    Winston Smith :>D

    Dave,

    Well, you really had me going for a while there. But then I knew the whole story was a farce when I saw this line:

    ? I finally escaped when PS and SG left to go to a strip joint to try and pick up a coupe of crack ho's.?

    Letting the boys leave for some adult entertainment without you?

    I?m sorry, but that just doesn?t have ?the ring of Troof? to it.

    Besides, before shotgun left, I gave him specific instructions to go to a ?Gentleman?s Club?, not a strip joint. I wanted to make sure he got a few lappers from Grade ?A?, voluptuous female entertainers pumped full of silicone, not stripper crack-ho?s.

    Winston.

  • Winston Smith :>D
    Winston Smith :>D

    Please Shotgun, tell me you didn't get lappers from crack-ho's!

    When I said 'get a lapper for me', I didn't want you to come home disease ridden!

    Glad you had a good time with the 'friends'

    Winston.

  • morty
    morty

    REALLY......LMAO.....THIS WAS JUST TOOOO FUNNY....

  • Special K
    Special K

    so glad you all had a great time.

    And don't let that shotgun, try to play innocent in any of the goings on.

    He has been known to be a trickster right from the diaper stage .. right on up.

    Again so glad it was a great meet-up. I'm sure for some of you faders, it was a real break from the storm.

    all the best

    Special K

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit