Emotional Terrorism. (page 4)

little witch

Whatever you call your technique, Lee ,

You are right on. Your indomnible spirit and insight is always right on!

God Bless Ya Hon. I love you, by the way, in case you didnt know.

Lady Lee

luv ya too lw

it is called assertiveness - something I desperately needed to learn after all those years of abuse.

I remember the first time I did this to my mother. My brother and his family were visiting and my mother came for lunch. We were all sitting around the table and I related something that my mother had done to us as kids - not nice at all. When I was done there was silence around the table

She pulled her "I guess I wasn't such a good mother" number and out of my mouth blurted "No sometimes you weren't" At the time I had no idea what to expect. And I was stunned that it came out of my mouth but I guess I had practiced it enough on my own that when the opportunity arose out it popped. Her response was "OH" and someone changed the subject. She has never brought it up again.

A couple of years later I had the incident with my sister who is the aggressive girl in the family. With the two of us telling her she was wrong about her mother she didn't have a lot of room to pull her poor me thing.

it is short truthful and seems to be extremely effective.

Now I would never try this with my father but with her it worked wonders

Big Tex

I should never post when I'm depressed.

Lady Lee

(((BT)))

Mysterious

My mother is definitely an emotional terrorist, and she wields her weapons with deadly accuracy.

Her favorite weapon like any good dub is fear. The "Armageddon is almost here and people leaving the 'truth' now won't have a chance to get back". "The world has nothing to offer"

She also is partial to guilt. I won't even attempt to summarize that one.

And then there is the spirit of self sacrifice, also aimed with guilt. Apparently having no time for fun is a badge of honor I can look forward to when I grow up.

joannadandy

Has anyone here ever had to deal with an Emotional Terrorist, and if so, how did you handle the situation?

Yup...my first and only JW quasi-boyfriend. We never really dated, but had a "aww you're of the opposite sex and you flirt with me--we must be in love" relationship. It was far more intense on his end than mine. I knew I didn't want anything serious with him, and he was all about getting married.

I believed/believe the stories he told me about the abuse his father dealt him. It was some of his other stories that I didn't believe. About wonderful things he had done. He always had to be the hero in his stories.

I wanted to distance myself from him, and told him so. Then it began. He would call me all the time. Usually in tears. He used to follow me everywhere--show up where I was, (driving 40 miles out of his way)etc. Anytime he would get all teary and spout about how I was his only friend and the only person who really cared about him, I would cave in--hug him and tell him it would be all ok. After a while this got old--I continued to tell him I wanted nothing serious with him. Friends only.

Then he started to threaten to kill himself.

At first I freaked out. I did not want this guys death on my hands. And in so many words he told me it would be my fault. "You are the only thing that matters to me--without you I have no reason to live" etc. Again I would buckle.

After so many threats tho..it got very old. It sounds so harsh and so awful--but one night for about the 30th time, he said "I should just kill myself"...and I said, "Yeah--maybe you should" Having been suicidal and attempting it myself--(Without telling anyone) I started to not buy his pleas. Thankfully my calling his bluff worked out. He did not kill himself, and is still alive to day. But it was only by being totally callous and downright evil to this guy before he got the hint that you can't behave that way with people.

He was the worst case scenario--but I have had plenty of other "emotional terrorists" in my life. The drain they cause on your life is tremendous.

Waymores Ghost

Hi Englishman,

Sort of like Manchausen by Proxy, only the victim is also the perpetrator.

Wg

core

Membership of the WT can cause individuals to become emotional blackmailers - also the high number of JWs with "unusual" illnesses, after Awake articles on these - when an elder it was a nightmare for me dealing with some who revelled in illness, emotional trauma and generally enjoyed playing on their "victim" status. Manys the time when an issue arose and it fell to me to sort it out that I dreaded the "confrontation" - as thats what it would become - as the individual concerned played all the organ stops for the "no on cares - I need special attention - this cant apply to me" etc etc At Assembly times the DEMANDS for special treatment re seats, car parking etc made MY life a misery as the emotional blackmailers turned on all the taps to twist the knife - they seemed not to be disturbed by anything - they were largely self-centred individuals with only one focus - themselves. When I was unable to give them the special treatment they wanted then boy did they make my life misery.

Wish I had read all the earlier posts years ago when I had to deal with this sort of thing - thannk God I dont have to anymoer.

Guest 77

I have never changed my approach, I go directly at YOU. Either on the spot or I'll coming knocking on your door. The question is, are you willing to confront the person?

Guest 77

Englishman

How about outrageously flirting with someone to get what one wants? Or maybe behaving appallingly, then snuggling up to someone, either physically or mentally, so as to avoid the consequences? Should we class that as emotional terrorism?

Englishman.

Emotional Terrorism.

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