by garybuss 27 Replies latest jw friends
I have been away all day. I will reply to comments soon. It looks like we are about evenly divided.
Witnessism has been a cancer to my family. Shunning is their primary tool. They will not hurt me with it nor will they control me with it. With me, it will be their hill to die on.
I just see the shunned and their enablers working overtime to make sure the shunning can continue. Thoughts?
Interesting reasoning, Garybuss...
My two kids continue to shun me, fully expecting me to turn around from my rebelliousTM course of conduct, repent and come crawling back to the elders tearfully and repentantly, begging for forgiveness, while grovelling at their feet.
I do not expect my kids to approach me. I will not be approaching them. My reasoning is to just let them continue on their rigid spiritual journey without interrupting it or interfering in their choices. They get to do what they want...or do they? Maybe they are just doing what the elders want....hmmmmmm...
Their shunning me is for the purpose of controling my behaviour. That is no secret. Instead, my life continues forward in a direction of my choosing. I do not need my kids in my life to feel happiness. I don't know how they would feel about knowing that. Perhaps they would think I am just a cold and unrepentant woman deserving of death at Jegoober's hand. And quite frankly, I don't care. I could have more kids if I want. Kids who would love me unconditionally because I would teach them that...now that I know better...
Food for thought...
ESTEE
Tashawaa, I hope it all works out in a good way for you. Thanks for your comments.
Singing Man, This is my way too. Thanks!
Fran, What are your thoughts on the issue of enabling I raised?
Maverick, I have embarrassed more than a few too. My favorite is to slide into a booth with a JW just as their food arrives at a restaurant and watch them to see what they will do. The elders will eat and the publishers won't.
Barry, the SDA's don't pratice shunning do they? I appreciate your posts. Thanks for being here.
Oxnard Hamster, So do you think some Witnesses have snubbing and shunning mixed up? Thanks for posting.
Dansk, Thanks for the post. If I had minor children and my shunning Witness parents refused to be refused, I'd move to Alaska. I enjoy your posts. It's good to relate to another father to adult children. Best wishes!
Country Girl, Atta way! Does this make us a team?
RunningMan, you wrote, "Either ignore them or fight them, but don't play along." YES! Well put! Thanks!
Eric, I don't want them to see me in any positive light, and they are not welcome to call me. That door has been closed by them. I am simply giving them their own medicine back. This is their game, not mine. They got to start the game, I get to set my own rules.
Elsewhere, I understand that more than a few estates have been re-planned due to shunning. All over some book some dead guys wrote . . .
outbutnotdown, Shunning doesn't bother me. I am thankful for it. It has been a gift. It eliminated people from my life that aren't worth spit.
bluesapphire, That's called the short loop jack around. I have seen that over and over. When the shunning seems to be losing it's effectiveness or becomes boring, the shunners set up opportunities for shunning. I have played that game with them too. I am done with it.
lisaBObeesa, I thank you for your mother. You did her a big favor. Good job! Thanks for the post!
ESTEE, Will you ever tell them it's not gonna work? Not that I think you should, just wondering . . . .
Estee,
I'm not sure I agree with your comment where you said, "I don't need my kids in my life to feel happiness." To be honest, you're right about not "needing" them in your life, but by pushing them out from your life, I do feel that you are hurting yourself as well. The reason that the JW shunning practice is so cruel, unfair and sad is that it is UNNATURAL. My ex-wife and I are going through a divorce. My five year old daughter told me that it upsets her when either I or mommy say anything nasty about each other. She didn't say why, but it was evident that it upset her greatly. I spoke to my very wise Aunt about it and she said that it must be something about a child actually being a part of their parent in body and spirit... same DNA and stuff.... that they are hurt directly by an insult to the parent. That is why they will even defend their abusive parents if someone speaks negatively of them. Same thing applies the other way around, too. If we shun our kids we are insulting ourselves. It hurts..... or at least it feels better when you don't.
It just seems to me that people that want to shun back, (including me when I used to), are doing it more from a bitter and weak persona than from anything good. How many of us OUTSIDE of the JW religion now are really ever going to go back because of their perceived tough love... I would bet almost none... cause it doesn't work. There's more chance of us winning them over to the more positive side by kindness than by hatred.
outbutnotdown wrote:
by pushing them out from your life, I do feel that you are hurting yourself as well. The reason that the JW shunning practice is so cruel, unfair and sad is that it is UNNATURAL
outbutnotdown?I didn?t push them out of my life. The choice to shun is strictly theirs. It is not my choice at all. I simply am respecting their right to choose their rigid spiritual path without interfering in it. And I agree with you that it is a cruel and unnatural choice they have made.
garbybuss wrote:
ESTEE, Will you ever tell them it's not gonna work? Not that I think you should, just wondering . . . .
Garybuss?If I have opportunity to tell them I will tell them the shunning is not gonna work...For now, I have lost touch with both my kids since they have either moved or married. Behaviour endorsed and enabled by the barbaric cruel so-called Christian religion known as the Jegobber religion. I'm not going to wait around hoping they will drop me some crumbs of attention. I am going on with my own life. I do have a wonderful life all on my own, self-directed, and without the interference of above noted elders of above noted insane religion!!!
Disclaimer: I sincerely apologize for offending any who still believe that the Jebogger religion is by any stretch of the imagination ... the TruthTM...
ESTEE
When I see someone I know is a jw. I make a point to go out of my way to say hello. Some are friendly and some seem to be afraid, others look just like deer in the head lights.
The lie is dead. We do recover.
Some topics never grow go out of date--
Gary never allowed the JWs to disrespect him, because he always demanded respect for himself. Are you an enabler of the KH shunning?
btt-
